The Fam

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Follow the half-elf Cindy, as she goes on a hectic journey of self-discovery through moral dilemmas, conflicts, and character dynamics in a modern fantasy world. She may become an assassin too.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: anthony59237

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.1/ 5.0
Followers: 467
Views: 79,669

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

A. StargazerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Reviewed at chapter 6, which is presently all there is.
Amusing and mostly lighthearted, despite the characters being assassins. Set in an alternate reality with three humanoid races (Humans, Elves, and Ogres), the world is otherwise a parody of modern reality. I find the idea of legalized assassination to be somewhat hilarious as a solution to organized crime.
There were some technical errors which I spotted and pointed out to the author, but that’s to be expected from a beginner. Still, I had to take a star out of grammar because of it.
Style wise, my detraction was mostly due to the author’s heavy use of flashbacks and jumping around from scene to scene. And also because I feel like the author simply hasn’t developed a style of their own quite yet, although I would say that they are on their way to doing so. I strongly encourage the author to continue writing, but also to seek out guides to writing well, and most importantly of all, to read voraciously.
I get the feeling from the writing that the author is either somewhat young, or targeting younger audiences. In either case I feel like this is a story that I would have gladly picked up in middle-school and read cover-to cover.
AustimizedRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I wasn't expecting to like this story much based on the cover photo and the extra "!" in the synopsis vs my preference for darker fiction. With my general rule to give a story 3 chapters, I plunged in and was pleasantly surprised.
The prologue does an amazing bit of work, managing to convey backstory and the MC's situation in a way that felt natural rather than the dreaded "infodump" many stories throw at you. Also dig the way the story's "modern + fantasy" setting comes out in the process.
The next chapter felt a bit less polished to start, but covered a lot of ground quickly and jumped into the action. The "excessive" exclamation points started to bother me a switch flipped: the "this isn't realistic" bits kept nagging me, then I hit the first *rewind* and it clicked: "this really is an anime!!!" Before I knew it I was out of story to read.
I've seen stories with anime covers that don't feel like anime, but "Fam" nailed the light-hearted goofiness and slighly "overplayed" characters in a way that had me back on the couch with my high school buddies on "random-aie" nights.
One small thing that caught me every time: half-ling! I get there are probably actual halflings somewhere in the story, but half-ling jarred me every time. When that's the only major criticism I can think of, this one's a follow.
D.J. RintoulRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Having read the first chapters of "The Fam," I must say it presents a story proposition I can't refuse.
Watch a sweet young girl transform into a cold-blooded assassin, while enjoying laughs all the way down? Yes, please.
There's a slice of life tag, and I can easily see how the cute interactions among the characters are likely to create that sort of story as the plot progresses. So far, the author has wisely focused on making sure that we sympathize with the characters, especially the protagonist. And she has captured my sympathies entirely. That makes the characters a pretty strong point of this series for me so far. I want to know more about them, and I want to see them interact more. I already think I know enough about the main character at least to want to watch the anime adaptation that should someday be made of this story. And I think my wife would watch with me.
The style is entertaining, with comical and deadly situations mingled together and dramatic irony used to great effect. It delivers the story in perhaps the most entertaining way possible. I would caution the author not to spend too much time on flashbacks unless they're plot-relevant, though. They're effective at pulling on the heart strings, but I already care about the main character, so it's probably not necessary to do too much of that unless we'll learn more about her family within those flashbacks. It would only slow down the story.
Speaking of story, there are many seeded future plot points scattered in here that give me great investment in the story going forward; the main character's family alone is basically made of Chekhov's gunmen. Even people who don't like slice of life may enjoy this story, because the level of intrigue and mystery built up around the main character's family and the leadership of "The Fam" is already enough to almost call this a mystery.
HirambeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story's foundation stands firm, akin to a distant reflection of our own world, signaled by the distinct nomenclature of places. Style melds exposition and action, occasionally a touch uneven. The narration bears a raw edge, laced with exclamation points that amplify the comedic aura. The transition between scenes sometimes stumbles.
In this exaggerated dark comedy, emotions swell, and events magnify, demanding some suspension of disbelief. The narrative navigates the grandiose, though certain pivotal scenes remain obscured. While grammar doesn't obtrude, speech tags suffer occasional formatting fumbles.
Characters propel the plot forward, yet their depth varies. At the nucleus, Cindy's quest for prosperity is clear, yet her emotional turbulence warrants more exploration. The outset's darkness strikes, though humor and unique appellations alleviate it. The story gracefully juxtaposes past and present, fleshing out Cindy's chronicle adeptly. Her reflections on past traumas evoke genuine empathy.
Dialogue, particularly with Cindy's mother, breathes authenticity. A hint of inconsistency in Cindy's temperament surfaces—nervousness to killing within moments—more internal strife could smooth her progression. The camaraderie of Amy, Ben, and Kai injects humor and a familial air into the assassin cadre, tempering the gravity.
Swift pacing forges an avenue for character growth despite Cindy's whirlwind transformation. The interplay between Cindy's history and her present self unspools artfully, embedding depth within her journey. An engaging narrative that promises further evolution.
JaysanerdRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story is unique and interesting, I like elves, and I like assassination, so I feel like the story will only be getting better and better in the future.
In my opinion, the charm in this fictions lies in it's characters. Director Amy is a great character, So far Kai is probably my favorite character. And obviously Cindy is a great protagonist. You really did a good job connecting me to Cindy, she's a well-written protagonist and she has a good backstory, her “goal” is to find a place she can call home which makes sense due to what she’s been through.
The dialogue in this fiction is also really good, realistic, and entertaining.
I like the interactions between Cindy and "the fam", It's a nice balance of comedy and seriousness.
The pacing is also good, the scenes don't feel rushed nor dragged out. The chapters also end very naturally, making me want to read the next.
I feel like grammar isn't something I should be the one critique you on, considering English is my third language. I didn't notice many grammar mistakes so it should be good though!
Your story has a lot of potential and I’m really looking forward to see where it goes. This being your first story makes it even more impressive as well!
jaxobelRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I'll try to minimize spoilers considering that the review Is limited to the 4th- chapter but ill give it a try.
The story trails a half-elf grappling with discrimination in a city. A chance encounter thrusts them into a world of assassins through a mysterious stranger. His motives lead them to "The Fam," a group of reformed criminals. While navigating this dangerous path, the story occasionally ventures into their past, revealing their emotional family ties and bond as well as their shared challenges. A blend of action, emotion, and humor creates an unpredictable journey.
Grammar: The grammar is solid, making for smooth reading. A few minor errors pop up, but they don't really break the flow.
Style: The authors writing style engages effectively with dialogue, descriptions, and introspection. Flashbacks provide depth, but a better set-up of scenery could help to enhance immersion.
Characters: Characters are unique to themselves and are driven by purposeful goals. Their resilience and their family bond is heartwarming. The supporting cast, including the enigmatic man and reformed assassins, add depth. Exploring their past actions could bring complexity.
Overall: Your mix of urban fantasy, action, and emotion is enticing to me. Weaving their struggles and backstory creates a strong connection. Your Pacing is fluid, though deeper dives into pivotal moments would be more emotionally impacting. Your story's solid mate, with great grammar, engaging dialogue, intriguing characters, and an enjoyable and sometimes wholesome plot. Superb job once more, haven't really touched much good drama on this site.
Arthur InverseRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The Fam is a story following Cindy. a half-elf girl who was left devistated when her home was destroyed. Years after the incident she is left with a mechanical prostetic arm and forced to work odd jobs as she tries to make enough money to get herself a home. Low and behold she eventually picks up a very surprising client. Will this interaction be the saving grace she is looking for or an event that spirals her further down into her misery.
The story so far has been very entertaining. There are some points where the internal dialogue of Cindy could be better explained, but the bones of the story more than covers for these spots.
The Author obviously cares for the story and does their best to improve, as you can tell chapter to chapter. For a first fiction the story is above my expectations, and I can only see the writing improving if the author keeps along the path they are headed!
AurathasRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Character: The MC is an interesting and compelling individual that is just struggling to get their lives in order after going through a very rough time. Her personality and those of the side characters are diverse enough that there is a ton of potential for fun banter. However, it would be nice to see the side characters developed a bit more, so far there are a few that essentially have the same personality. I’m sure that will change as the story goes on, but it is a small issue right now.
Grammar: I did not see a single grammar or spelling mistake. Well done!
Style: The style is extremely straightforward with very little filler. Things get moving very quickly, but that doesn’t mean it gets action-packed right off the bat. If anything, the speed with which the early chapters move make it a bit less believable, but no less enjoyable.
Story: The story is where this shines for me, I’ve always loved the Shadowrun setting and this seems to be an original take on a similar concept so far. Additionally, there is a lot mentioned in the first few chapters that give the plot a lot of room to grow. Definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.
HippioScipioRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
This is a good story all things considered. Its storyline is believable, its characters are enjoyable, and I personally think the author does a quite good job of balancing the dark with the humour.
However, the flashbacks and flashforwards are a bit much for me personally. I understand that the rule of cool applies, and it's a comedy so the structure is going to be inherently a bit wacky, but so many flashbacks and flash-forwards disoriented me while reading.
Other than that I recommend reading this book, it's quite good.
ScruffedUpRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
It's a bit on the odd side but overall it's a decent read if you are into modern/fantasy type stuff.
Style:
A dark comedy focused around assassins, nothing can go wrong... unless....
Either way, the comedy is decent, world building is going alright, and it's a comedy so I am trying to not look at it as seriously as I do others.
I have a few issues with the 'style' of the story, however a lot of these are 'recommendations' or personal preference type deals
-crunch crunch crunch
I dislike stuff like this when it comes to describing stuff. From breaking bones to eating food, it doesn't feel proper. Even if you want to shy away from direct gore or whatever, some other way of writing it would be preferable.
-I recommend chapters being 3k words long
Small, might not work with the more 'episodic' way you are doing the chapters, plus its a dark comedy so longer chapters might not work. Figured I might as well point it out.
that's bout it.
Story:
The books a comedy, so a lot of the ways I would usually review the book go out the window.
But for a comedy it does an alright job. I got a few chuckles, read through most of the published chapters in 5 minutes, and overall had an alright time.
The writing itself is fine as well, for the way the story is written.
Grammar: no issues 5/5
Character:
As a comedy the characters play a rather big part. We have our half-elf MC who is a nervous wreck, their 'coworkers' and the 'jobs'. As far as I have read the characters are rather funny, and I enjoyed them for the most part.
5/5
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Overall, not used to doing reviews for comedies.
I like the book, but it's hard to 'review' a comedy because if I find something unfunny or the writing of something 'odd' it might just be me being a bore, or the author actually writing something incorrectly.
As it stands though, it was a good read, and that is the most important part of the novel.