In an alternative medieval world , humans considered the weakest race cowers in fear as monsters and demons roam the lands. Follow Jacque as he uses his wits and human ingenuity to make a living in this harsh world.

(A Witcher franchise inspired story)

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Lord JoydeRoyal Road

★★★★ 3.5

Why change the title? Because the "THE" in it makes it seems less than it actually is and the overuse of "THE" within the story itself makes it harder to read. (Or rather, more annoying to read would be the better way to put it here).
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So uhm...
I don't really know what to say here but I guess you expected something like this might happen?
Oh whatever, the story isn't bad and theres only three chapters out so far!
(UPDATING THE STORY ONCE PER DAY IS BAD FOR BOTH YOU AND THE STORY. You will drain your inspiration too quickly!
I recommend having a pause of at least three days inbetween chapters).
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OVERALL: I'll give it a 3.5. Harsh? Yes. Here's why: grammar and style. Or rather, the lack thereoff!
It all gets better by chapter 3 though, so that means we are on the right track. My complains are as goes-
1. USE CAPITAL LETTERS PLEASE (my inner grammar Nazi screamed for every sentence I've read and thats saying something).
2. WHEN YOU HAVE A SENTENCE DURING WHICH THE CHARACTER PAUSES FOR DRAMA WITH THE ALMIGHTY TRIPLE-DOT (and there are a lot of these which is the trademarked sign of a newbie writer) PLEASE FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS!
"Blah blah blah... (space to separate the dots with the following word) blah... BLAH!"
STYLE: I don't really like this. Mostly because there is NO style. Not even RR's typical style.
This does change though. In fact, it almost seems like chapter 3 was written by an entirely different person? Thats the level of difference between it and the rest of the story.
If this is really just you and your own personal improvement then wow, I applaud you.
Chapters 1 and 2 are utterly disorganized though and the only reason I even read them is because I was interested in what was going on storywise... if I was someone who randomly skips through chapters to see what they look like and then decides if I'm going to read it or not... well, I would probably skip this story if that were the case.
GRAMMAR: Erm. Well...
I think that I covered this rather ni

The diary of a monster hunter

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Chapters(5 total)

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Community Reviews(1)