Description

I,Ridar Azzur, had woken up in a deserted plain in who knows where. Apparently I am currently a Lich. That's right. A Lich. The undead who manipulates undead and practice the dark arts whatsoever . Have no idea what should I do now. For some reason, this body seems just like my character in my game Elareven. Just what is going on?(somewhat the same or not the same as Overlord for a few chapters)-NoteInspired by Overlord

Community Reviews(5)

billybutonRoyal Road

★★★★★ 4.5

For all the fan of Overlord, this story is actually pretty good, You ( fan of the Overlod ) should try toread this..
It's give different twist but it;s pretty good...
I hope this keep getting interesting..

Chopsuey332Royal Road

★★★★ 4.0

Revised.
The story is interesting and I am a fan of Overlord myself but It is obvious that you are still inexperience at writing. The wording could use some work and you need to proof read because i notice some mistakes. The concept of the story is good over all but the delivery still needs work. It is still readable and the wording does not hinder the story too much although the redundant use of I could be remove.
Overall, could use some more practice with 1st person and try to avoid using too much I's. Its not a professional work but it is still enjoyable.

JyulegacyRoyal Road

★★★★ 4.0

Its really interesting but the grammatical errors spoil it greatly, i would recommend asking someone to PR it.
Most of the mistakes are really obvious, anyone with a decent understanding can correct it into a much more readable state.

cloz1982Royal Road

★★★★ 4.0

Like where your story is going so far. keep up the good work. Also like that there is little to no grammatical errors.

NeroRoyal Road

★★★ 2.5

Okay I’ll try to stay objective, first the story as a whole is a fanfic of the lightnovel Overlord.
Most of the universe, ranks, races, style seem to come there, with a few original additions. It’s not perfect but enjoyable.
Next is the grammar, I don’t master english either but your sentences feel repetitive, you use the same words/adjectives often, which lessen the quality of the fanfic.
Now the story development appears to follow your earthly desires, meaning it feels forced, unnatural.
From the first few chapters I understood that you would talk a lot about sex, expecially little girls. That’s okay as long as everything don’t seem too easy for the MC, like the world is helping him accomplish his goals/desires.
Spoilers bellow.
Example : He heard in a village about the 9 tailed fox –> He become an adventurer and pick 5 missions –> He meets by chance a party who have the same quests as him –> He follow them with the intent to steal the items to complete the quest while he somewhat learn that the legendary fox is inside the forest the party lead him to… –> He finds the fox child and it calls him “papa”…
Overlord also has comical elements but some parts of your story are just absurd.
Lastly the characters, well I’ve read up to chapter 9 so I’m not sure after that but the MC is basically a prick, a bully, a womanizer, a jealous man who is ready to ruin the life of others for his benefit.
He has godly power and merciless personality yet his jealousy can lead him to save people like with the village he saved because a pretty girl was about to be raped by bandits.
Honestly it appears to me that most of this fiction is about sex, like many others it start with a serious vibe but soon the MC is revealed to be a frustrated teen with too much power.

The Death God

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Chapters(23 total)

Reviews

Community Reviews(5)