The Dark Art of Bullshit

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

No one dreams of digging up the dead. No one fantasizes about the stench of rotting corpses. The truth is that the path to becoming a Necromancer is a series of mistakes and mishaps that eventually lead to fighting stuck up Paladins. This is a first hand account of what not to do on your journey to becoming an Undead Overlord. Calcium deficient readers beware.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday at 1:30 PM PST

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: TurtleKing

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 819
Views: 237,010

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

retrochoirRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
As befitting a tale about necromancy, the story does not shy away from macabre descriptions and dead bodies. It is entertaining watching the MC get thrown into ever worsening situations and subsequently delve deeper into his future path.
Aside from some questionable logic on the part of a side character, every other aspect of the story was great!
The prose was well-written, the characters are believable, and I especially enjoyed the comedic blurbs that head each chapter.
Overall, those with a macabre taste in literature would find this to their liking.
Ellen TaylorRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This was fun!
The style was great. The voice was strong here. I took a half a star off because there were times when I was confused a bit with the setting while they were traveling, but it wasn't often. The traveling alone seemed to happen quickly and then they jumped into action and I got lost, but only a little. The banter between characters, on the other hand, seriously was such a joy to read.
Grammar was great. Nothing stuck out to me or pulled me from the story.
The story was a delight. I want to say it's a dark humor kind of book, but I always hesitate to mention that incase it deters someone from reading it. It wasn't that dark, it was just humor of a dryer, darker kind, and I was seriously digging it (ha! pun not intended).
The characters are absolutely brilliant. The author has such a way with banter that makes the characters stand out. These characters are the kind of people that I would love to virtually send a phone book to them and listen to them discuss it. They are just that much fun to read about.
Well done! Such a fun read!
JEPayneRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is excellent. Just getting that out of the way up front. It's very well written and the storyline is building up quite nicely at the time of this review, but the thing that really got me hooked was the humour. If you're a fan of British or Australian style dry humour you'll absolutely love this, though the dialogue between the characters actually put me in the mind of some TV shows such as Archer.
Style - like I said, the humour in this story is incredible. I'm Australian myself so it was right up my alley, but I think anyone with half a funny bone will enjoy this. The humour aside, the rest of it is very solidly written, the story is easy to follow and the writing is descriptive without being bloated.
Story - a fun pretext for a story. The MC makes it particularly endearing; an unfortunate twist of fate turning into a bizarre turn of events that set him on the unlikely path of becoming an apprentice necromancer. I can't wait to see where it goes!
Grammar - no issues left that I saw at the time of this review.
Character - tied with style for my favourite aspect of the author's writing. We don't get a heap of backstory out the gate, but that's fine because instead we get to focus on the story and we get a vivid idea of their character regardless due to their interactions with each other.
Favourited and followed, and if you're reading this you should too!
Jack0fheartRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Playing With The Dead is probably the greatest necromancer story that I've ever read. It's fun and light-hearted despite the grim nature of the setting. If you haven't already, start reading it now!
Style score 5/5: This is easily full marks! The author has introduced what is quite possibly my new favourite thing in a story, comedic quotes of wisdom from a lich. I greatly enjoyed them at the start of chapters.
Story score 5/5: Playing with the dead is extremely well-written and a great twist on necromancer stories by making it fun. It reverses the roles of holy magic and death magic to make the latter good while the former is bad.
Grammar score 5/5: This is my least important rating. A story needs only to be legible for me to enjoy it. Playing with the Dead far exceeds these expectations! There are absolutely no jarring errors the ruin my immersion in the story.
Character score 5/5 This is where playing with the Dead excels. The characters are all unique and quirky, completely distinguishable from one another. Their interactions are fun to follow!
All in all, Playing with the Dead is nothing like what I expected. Although in hindsight, I guess the synopsis should have tipped me off! This story is great for anyone looking for a great lighthearted story that twists the standard necromancer tropes into something extremely fun and enjoyable! ♥
Kevin YanceyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
From the first paragraph about the broken down tavern to the town itself, the author's descriptors were perfect. I was hooked to keep reading. Arthur's story and the world he lives in appeared to be vibrant, despite the stories focus on death and becoming a Necromancer. The character's banter with each other sounded like an actual conversation, the dialogue was perfect and kept me so entertained. My review is based on the first five chapters, but I am going to follow and put this story on my list. Good job to the author for what I've read so far and I look so forward to reading more!
MrPagesFLRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I find this work quite wonderful, it perfectly showcases how human stupidity can drive a society and with it the plot. The logical fallacies showcased are likewise delightful and though it is frustrating to see such behaviours flourishing it makes the story feel that much more realistic. Furthermore, some scenes present a chilling insight into the human psyche and the myriad ways that our desires drive us to strife.
Pickle HurlantRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I was cursed reading this story. I couldn't stop but I had to leave a review quickly. Damn fool I am.
First person stories are almost always frown upon. Playing with the dead is another proof that they remains cool. The prose and style are particulary awesome. The characters are solid and the worlbuilding, despite ebing quite common, is enjoyable enough. The story starts as fast as a horse being whiped with jalapenos, yet is very easy to follow thanks to the light tone.
Clearly a fine nugget in the Writathon.
lcxiceyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: The style present is just the right mix of serious tones and comedy thrown in. With the prose being detailed enough to give a vivid picture of what was happening and the pacing keep a brisk stride that kept me engaged throughout.
Grammar: Well executed, no complaints here
Story: We kick off with our main character Arthur being down on his luck having been made fun for being the actual son of a whore. Determined to do something with his life he gets drunk and promptly passes out after conversing with fellows at a local in. Afterword he finds himself waking up inside a grave and his life is never the same afterward as after a quick nat 20 on a speech check he is whisked into the world of martial arts. The plot only thickens from there as Arthurs quick wit help supplant his sometimes lacking intelligence and his journey continues with adventure and hilarity. Normally I find myself put off by comedy but the author managed to find the right balance of serious moments with Comedy that seemed to flow naturally from the characters personalities and i would be lying if i didn't admit that the humor hit home constantly making me laugh.
Character: All of the characters feel well rounded and consistent to what we know of their personalities. This plays well into the humor as it never comes off as forced as much of the banter realistic to what I can imagine the characters saying given their personalities. Although the story still seems to be in its early stages the characters are already forming engaging dynamics and relationships that help boost the story to higher heigihts.
Overall: From the moment I began reading chapter 1 i didn't stop or take a break until the whole thing was done and it felt like i teleported two and a half hours into the future and for more that is the hallmark of works that reach the highest quality! If your looking for a fun story that has good banter, adventure and a healthy slice of giggles then i can't recommend this one enough!
Apollo149Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I enjoyed the first few chapters. I am going to follow this story and give it a good read. It has some fantastic ideas within the first few chapters.
1) I liked the part in which he talks about the "dark arts" as not being evil but how we use them. It is a classic idea with a nice little spin, aka "the user makes the magic."
2) It has some great humour mixed in. Even in the first half of chapter one, I can hear the main character's voice in my head. If you ever grew up in a small town, the tone is perfect for how he talks about the village.
3) I like the struggle of "class" being set up. Such as the lower class needs to serve the upper class to find meaning, or how we are cursed to serve. It is a good tool for world-building.
Good story so far. I am going to keep reading!
Rating it 5/5
Karmic_BacklashRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Story: Necromancer gonna Necromance
The story stars Arthur, a worthless layabout with no appriciable skills besides his own ability to fill a hole in the ground. That sounds like a bad thing, but let me assure you that he is supremely sarcastic and self aware of his situation. He gets knocked out and thrown in a hole by a necromancy, and not only does he convince the zombie to let him live, he swings an apprenticeship with the very same necromancer that threw his luggard ass in the hole. Fast forward a bit and the guy is already learning Necromancy from a lich and figuring out how to use magic.
After unfortunately getting the zombie from before (that he had begrudgingly befriended) re-killed he goes on a quest to get that same zombiue unkilled by the necromancer who unkilled him in the first place.
Its a simple story, but those are never bad. Its the delivery and writing which is stand out.
Style: Very decent.
The style is pretty good, the authors ability to describe what is happening is very good and everything is filtered through the main characters jaded and sarcastic outlook on the world. I do have to say that occasionally when two characters are talking it can be confusing to remember who is talking because of something else, but I'll talk about that later. Besides that, there are only a few cases where it felt like the characters were speaking a bit akwardly at times. Never enough to take you out of it, but it does happen occasionally, I really only find it happens when Arthur isn't the one speaking. But then again it might just be me.
Grammer: Yep, its solid english alright.
Not a whole lot to say, besides the already mentioned occasionally strange wording, it's perfectly fine. I only noticed one time where the author greviously messed up and replaced one characters name with another. But I already commented about then when it happened.
Character: Got damn, you really knocked it out of the undead part here didn't ya?
The characters are really good. I especial