The Canyon
Community Rating
Description
Maya and her family awake to find themselves in a desolate canyon without any memory of how they arrived. They seek shelter in nearby caves where they discover other people with a similar story. Sometimes new groups of people appear in the canyon with food, sometimes people arrive with only the clothes on their back. Days turn into weeks and the small community loses hope of being rescued. Then tragedy strikes, and Maya will be placed at the center of it all. Will she be able to solve the mystery of what happened to them?
Note: this short story was submitted as part of theJune 2023 editionof theRoyal Road Community Magazine contest.It has since beenpublished to Amazon, so only 10% of the book will be kept here.
Information
- Status
- Completed
- Year
- 2023
- Author
- kerfyl
Tags
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 3.0/ 5.0
- Followers
- 1
- Views
- 241
Chapters(1 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- Odessa SilverRoyal Road★★★ 3.0I read a few chapters and I think you are off to a great start. First person POV is hard to write in especially as it's easy to do a lot of "I" sentences, and I didn't see too many in your prose at all and you do good varying starts of sentences. Your formatting is good, as is your grammar, and I only noticed a few mistakes. The story itself I struggled to follow in places because I feel you need to add more details. You move on a little too quick, and it'd be nice to see more description about the surroundings and characters too. One thing to look at improving on as well is showing rather than telling. However, all this can be added in with edits, and I think you can get there with practice. You mentioned this is your first story, and for it being your first you've done well :)
Good luck with your future writing!