The Blizzard Queen of Moscow

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

Owen Mitchell

• The Lucky Ones
  May 24, 2023
• Ashen Fields
  May 23, 2023
• On the Way
  May 8, 2023
• The Other Families
  May 5, 2023
• First Suit of Armor
  May 4, 2023
• Underwhelming Aftermath
  May 3, 2023
• The Necromancer
  May 2, 2023
• What to Do
  Apr 28, 2023
• Traitors in the Midst
  Apr 28, 2023
• The Ordelia Order
  Apr 26, 2023
• My Mission
  Apr 26, 2023
• Off to Meet the Masters
  Apr 25, 2023
• Arrival at The Nest
  Apr 20, 2023
• My Greater Purpose
  Apr 19, 2023
• What Father Does
  Apr 18, 2023
• Getting in the Groove
  Apr 17, 2023
• Medvedev's Hound
  Apr 15, 2023
• Punished by School
  Apr 14, 2023
• The Other Truth
  Apr 13, 2023
• An Angry Maid
  Apr 12, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(6)

• Adam SampsonRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  This is a good fiction. It could benifit from a rewrite, but particuarlly a new blurb.
  The grammar is good, a few wrong words, like eye instead of egg, but other than that, it's good.
  Where it shines is the characters. These are fully fledged people with interesting and engaging personalities.
  If the author does decide to do a rewrite, I would reccomend cutting the first few chapters. Let's jump into the action without the background, it's fun to discover the world as the story progresses.
• StrahdsillystrawRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The Blizzard Queen of Moscow is interesting, but not what I expected. The pacing is... fine. I think it feels worse than it is because the grammar has issues and that makes it feel jerky and fast.
  It is an overall pleasant read if you ignore the more upsetting grammatical portions, and while the characters are kind of flat so far, I like that they all feel like the author has a decisive plan for them in the future.
  The big oh-no is the grammar. Some sentences simply to not make sense, and the word honey is overused and shoved anywhere the author can fit it.
  “I suppose I can honey stick around for the time being.” Was perhaps my favorite jarring use of the word honey. Is it intentional? Is she sticking around in a sticky honey like faction? or is it referring to the protagonist as honey? The world may never know.
  Overall, I hope to return to this fiction in a few weeks once its had a once over in grammarly and Santa has checked it twice. I will reccomend spending some more time developing your characters and straight up rewriting these beginning chapters before you write too many and it becomes more of a chore than its worth.
  Keep up the good work! You can do it!
• Stardust NexusRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  It's an interesting story, no doubt. But there's more that could have been done to improve the reading experience of this story.
  Style. Nothing too unusual. I'm used to reading third POV but this novel uses first person POV. And it's done in a neat manner.
  Story. I would say this is where this novel could use improvement. Any story needs immersion to truly connect with the readers. I feel there's a lot of jumping around in time to truly immerse myself in this character. But it's a good attempt.
  Grammar. Nothing painfully obvious, but the sentences could flow smoother for better immersion. Many uncommon words were used that makes reading difficult for the general audience
  Character. I'm not sure if maids are supposed to disrespect the young master/miss of the house. But maybe it's normal in this novel. It's just uncommon according to my knowledge. It might be beneficial to mention the basic appearance of a character so it's easy to imagine them when they appear in the story.
  Overall I would say this story has great potential, but some reasons may make it off-putting to the readers and destroy their immersion and ability to connect with the character. I wish the author the best of luck in writing and improving their story.
• Mr Alex666Royal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  So, where to start...
  The story is set in rural Russia, pre-revolution, and although no exact date is given, it does look like middle-19th century at the latest. Most likely earlier. The MC's family is something like snitches or capos for some mysterious race, that put Humanity into an open-air prison camp (aka Earth). Who these aliens are, and why do they want humanity dead (and without magic) isn't explored at all in the story. Also, for rural Russia in the 19th century, the cast is using quite a few modern phrases.
  Story: in itself isn't exactly bad, but the plot hole with the "nest" is quite jarring. Also, who the assassins are, why they attack the teacher is left open and is convoluted. The whole "living in rural Russia" isn't explored. A 3. It could have been better
  Style: nothing irredeemably wrong. 4,5
  Grammar: there are quite a few typos, mistakes, and non-sensical sentences. It isn't perfect, but I have read worse. 3
  Characters: It is the story's weak point. The MC is supposed to be a 5-year-old girl, but she behaves much more like a late teen. If it wasn't constantly pointed out, she is a young kid, I would picture her at least 16. Making a very young person the MC is quite dangerous territory, a balancing act between describing a "normal" kid and making her a true MC. The story fails at this. BTW: why give a foreign name to a rural Russian girl?! The rest of the cast isn't relatable either. 2
  Total: a 3. It could have been a nice story.
• MissKarmaRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  The story has a good plot and the characters are well developed, but since it is written in 1. Person, everything is seen from the MC's side. It has been many years since I have read a story in the 1. Person and it took some time to get used to it.
  Even though Aura was explained I'm still confused as to what exactly it is.
  I didn't think maids could punish their leader but it would make sense if the maid didn't serve the MC but in fact the parents.
  As I am not a native speaker, there were a lot of foreign words I did not know and therefore skipped because if I had to google search it every time I would lose the enjoyment of reading a chapter.
  I don't see any mistakes in the grammar but there were some words I wondered if they were just used incorrectly. There were many long, heavy sentences to read and that is perhaps because I am used to simple short sentences.
  It was heavy reading for me because many things confused me and would probably be answered if I read further.
  If you are into a serious story with an interesting and new plot, it can be recommended.
• Duncan_LesterRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  Style: Feels like author was aiming for high fantasy, and missed just a little. It is the best part of the story. The few descriptions of magic are good.
  Story: Dragons hoard magic and MC's family are the jailers of humans in a manaless Earth. The snitch-lords can still do magic, and it feels like we are headed in a burn down the establishment direction.
  Grammar: A weakness. Many sentences run on. Descriptions where whole paragraphs are sewn together by commas make the story rather hard to read. Needs significant editing. Self professed first draft, though, so may change later.
  Characters: The characters seem to make some odd decisions. Magician lords hire a tutor for their daugher, who then doesn't train her, telling her to figure magic out herself. When that doesn't work out, the parents then hire another tutor instead of training the daughter themselves.
  Andreaki calls the MC 'Honey" every other sentence, and it doesn't feel good in a grooming way. Nothing explicitly bad happens to the kid.
  Overall: The premise of an ice witch taking down the tyrant dragons is really good.
  The execution of the story falls far short. The Blizzard Queen needs lots of editing before I would recommend it.