The Black Bane
Community Rating
Description
The Old Gods are the Worst.
In the city, industrial magic is booming, and Kailas Darkchar's ability to dispel magic has become more of a curse than a blessing. The only person to see any value in her talent is an old Mayqsa priest who offers a bag of gold in return for one simple task. All Kailas must do is venture deep into the heart of the desolate Ithos Darg forest - blighted by the Black Bane - and bring out the mortal remains of his god.
When Kailas refuses, the priest's entreaties turn to threats and she has to flee for her life. But nowhere is safe. A golden-eyed stranger finds her and delivers a chilling warning. The Mayqsa are inflamed by their holy mission to raise their god and will stop at nothing to have her. Kailas must do their bidding before the next blood moon, or their religion is cursed to dust.
The stranger vows to keep her safe, but something about him doesn't ring true. He appears to be following his own agenda, one with roots reaching back thousands of years.
As old legends come to life, Kailas must unravel the stranger’s true purpose while evading the Mayqsa. Without knowing who to trust, she must face an immortal enemy, counter the old gods, and push her ability beyond its limits.
For, if the Mayqsa succeed,the world will burn.
Information
- Status
- Ongoing
- Year
- 2024
- Author
- chroniclesofmealduth
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 3.9/ 5.0
- Followers
- 88
- Views
- 6,725
Chapters(4 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(3)
- Melody BrockeRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0There is a good balance of mystery, urgency, and explanation in this story, and so far not a single info dump, which I greatly appreciate. The plot develops at a reasonable pace, though there were a couple spots where I feel certain characters could have gotten more spotlight before moving onto the next leg of the journey without them.
Some specifics: The word choice "void your bowls in terror" in chapter 4 felt a bit weird to me, and later "if you try and lay a finger on me" could have been "if you lay a finger on me". These are very minor gripes.
The dialogue is, for the most part, witty and realistic. I especially liked the banter between Kailas and
Ancier, and I will be greatly disappointed if we don’t get more of that later in the story. I also would have appreciated a more distinct voice between Ancier and Tarin, though their similarity was on purpose as Kailas made a note of it.
I’m a picky reader when it comes to grammar and punctuation, and seeing virtually no errors in the text makes it an easy read. It is obvious that this story has been carefully edited. At the time of this review, there are only 14 chapters, and I plan to read more as they release. - RJBRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0I'm not quite sure what's going on with this story. I think the author needs to change its status from 'completed' to 'stub'. There are only 10 chapters, anyway.
For what it's worth, those are 10 well-written chapters, with good grammar and world building. The main character is rather reactive so far, rather than shaping the plot, but it is early days.
Edit. The author has changed the story classification, and I am changing my stars to only reflect the quality of the story. Good luck with the publication! - Viktor A. ReillyRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0The Black Bane is a beautiful labor of love, spanning decades in its creation. The worldbuilding is thorough and expansive. This is a world in which the Author has clearly spent many sleepless nights and early mornings.
Cracking this open calls to mind the likes of Robert Jordan or Tad Williams. An old-school epic you want to lose yourself in, with original maps and artwork to back it up.
I will be reading on.
Style: The tone of writing is dark and foreboding, but not oppressive. These early chapters have been filled with clear and creative descriptions, each written with a mature but approachable choice of diction. I'd like to see a bit more dialogue to break up some of the walls of description, but that's completely a personal preference.
Grammar: Nearly perfect and easy to read.
Story: Shaping up to be a classic Hero's Journey, the world has a quiet depth to it that gives the world a very lived-in feel.
Character: I haven't delved deep enough yet to comment in great detail on these characters' arcs or personalities but they do feel real and have clear motivations and flaws.
Keep up the good work, author! I'm excited to spend some time in your world.