Tale of a wanderer

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

Thinkerbell

• A stranger in the caves
  Jul 17, 2023
• Wandering
  Jul 17, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• burningGroundRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  The "wanderer" theme in the "desert" with the LLM's default prose style seems to be a good fit for a lot of passages, especially during internal monologues, it creates a high-brow, poetic vibe which is mesmerizing.
  However, onto certain parts, this style makes action passages become a low-tension experience more than a high tension one, such as:
  With their presence confirmed,he knew that he had to make a choice. Should he confront the strangers head-on, engaging in combat to defend himself and secure his freedom? Or was there a possibility of escape, of slipping away unnoticed and evading further confrontation? The weight of the decision pressed upon him, and he evaluated his options with a keen and calculating mind.
  Opting for confrontation, the exiled wanderer decided to use his magical prowess to gain the upper hand. He focused his energy, conjuring a paralysis spell aimed at one of the strangers. As the spell took effect, rendering the first stranger immobile, the second one became aware of the exiled wanderer's presence.
  A fierce clash ensued, the exiled wanderer utilizing his spear and magical abilities to fend off the remaining stranger's attacks. The air crackled with energy as spells and steel clashed, each strike a testament to the exiled wanderer's determination and resolve. Despite the odds stacked against him, he managed to wound the second stranger, weakening their defenses.
  Usage of certain methods and techniques such as: A change of perspective to the first person, or using "show, not tell" can make the passage more exhilarating to the reader, can increase intensity, and maximize impact.
  However, throughout the 2 chapters I've went through so far, the prose stays consistently the same, so I can't say that's pulling me enough to keep going.