System Savior

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

System Message

Hello, I am System 7 (31129758).

🙂

I am here to save you.

I have already begun changing your world to make it more suitable for the coming war. I am mighty, yet I alone will not be enough.

Ironically, though I am eternal, an aspect of the universe itself, all my creations are ephemeral. This is why I need your help. I need you to get strong so that one day you may fight and save your planet.

It will not be easy; many will perish. But if you don't fight, you all will. So I ask you to fight.

I am sorry in advance for any deaths my actions cause. But my inaction would be responsible for even more. So I act. I intervene. I change your world into something hostile and dangerous. Dangers like you have never seen, except in your darkest horrors and worst nightmares.

I will aid you as much as I am able.

The trials begin now.

It is time for you to cultivate.

It is time for you to become immortal.

Only then will you have a chance against the eternal foes.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: shaunc

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.0/ 5.0
Followers: 294
Views: 47,546

Chapters(22 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(2)

XanaRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Wonderful unique system, Great characters, slow plot, (which is not necessarily a bad thing), and slow updates. The story has amazing potential in many ways The character development is great, the world building it's starting off good the plot is taking its time because of the detailed system work and the character building which is perfectly understandable and reasonable. (Sidenote author person if you read this for such a great story I highly recommend you commit to a reasonable three chapters a day each of which has at least 5000 words)
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alphaReviewsRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
I like the premise - it has been done a bunch of times but I still find it interesting and I like how the system itself is presented (ie: I like the synopsis text).
Unfortunately, I despised all the characters, never figured out who the MC was, started skimming text when I saw the POV change constantly, and finally got too annoyed at how lame all the characters were.
Looking at the chapter titles, it seems like chapter 15 might be where the story starts, or where some characters stop massively sucking or perhaps where an MC can be figured out (the tags tell me there is a 'Male Lead'), but I quit at 14.
I will say, however, that I can't stand stories with constantly changing POVs - I really think the author should add the 'Multiple Lead Characters' tag to this story, as if I had known this was present in the story I would have just avoided it and this negative review would not exist :)
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P.S.: I feel bad for being so critical, so here is some hopefully helpful advice for the author: stories can start strong or weak. This story starts weak because the characters show no agency for the longest time, and furthermore they keep having boring thoughts, dialogs and actions *during an apocalypse*.
The best way to explain this is perhaps with my own 'show not tell': consider the recent "Solo Apocalypse" story that started trending on RR: although it follows a similar plot to this story, it does so STRONGLY. Immediately we know who the MC is, what the challenge is, and why we care to follow the story (the MC is interesting and daring). Another example would be the professional story "Heroes Die" by MW Stover - the beginning of that story is worth studying closely IMO (all of it is excellent).
Another piece of advice for 'Multiple POV' writing: multiple POVs work when they are focused on the team of the MC. However, it is critical NOT to start the multiple POVs until the team members have met! Once the MC meets his friends and they start to work together on a common goal