System OMEGA

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

One day every person on the planet suddenly received a message warning the end of human supremacy over the planet, and at the same time alerting the humans in order to prepare. The message was seen as a joke by everyone or almost.

In the period in which the MC starts some training there will be a time skip, and show only the necessary parts, interesting or that affect the story. I don't have the patience to read or write entire chapters just MC doing nothing but train.

And likely the MC stay well OP.

This and an amateur fiction only in order to improve my skills as a writer. Please write your reviews they are welcome.

The English not my native language, any errors, please let me know.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2017
Author: XtroyerZmaster

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.6/ 5.0
Followers: 274
Views: 31,548

Chapters(10 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

R_lolingRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Edit on 24.02.2018:
Your writing shows large improvements.
Please keep it up. It was a nice read so far and I feared you had dropped it already.
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I think your story is rather nice.
Though the character hasn't found himself and seems immature.
The biggest problems are your inexperience in the english language. I would advice the use of dictionarys and translation engines to check your writing. As well as reading proper english books and articles to improve your familiarity with the language.
You could try:
https://translate.google.com/
https://www.deepl.com/translator
The recent chapters already show a lot of improvement. Keep it up. :-)
tarnorkRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The grammar became so much better and the story start to make sense in some way, it's still not perfect (perfection doesn't exist) but still much better than a beginner.
well to do it your way, litrpg style:
Writing Apprentice Lvl 10
C3ED0nlineRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Not as critical a review as these other guys lol. Decent original ideas make for a great foundation to me, so I'm invested. Grammar probs honestly minimally impact story, chap 6 makes me weary though. MC thus far is intriguing and introspective which is all you could ask for in a post apocalyptic game system apocalypse lol .
ZackittyRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
When you write what Alex do DON'T use you. You HAVE to write "he" because we are not in the story. Beside that it can be a good nouvel if you describe a bit more.
Kiku.123Royal Road
★★ 2.0
The basic idea is good. The execution, in particular the god is not that great. The MC is still without characterization, which is sad, but ok. I'd read your story if it was just that, in particular because you invested energy and time, which usually means that the story will improve (also, sadly that you will stop and rewrite it...).
It's difficult to follow the dialogues. Changing the Style (Diary, and different Perspectives) in different chapters is imho not good.
But the worst problem is that grammer and vocabulary/spelling are bad. It's ok to have some problems in that area, but once it's beyond some point, reading becomes difficult/annoying and the reader can't immerse oneself. I'd advise you to improve that.
mrttaoRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
Spoiler: Spoiler
God send a warning to humanity that the system is coming and all tech will stop working. He did so via all existing communication devices at once, including ones not plugged into the internet.
MC is literally the only person in the entire world to believe the warning and train himself. Which is ridiculously unbelievable as far as premises go. And has made the MC chosen one as god personally tells him.
Also, grammar is atrocious
cavoRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
Bad grammar. Need I say more? I can't understand what he is trying to say so is it even a story?
Miketrammell1134Royal Road
★★ 1.5
The story could be good. I wouldn't know. The grammar made it unreadable
CaskieRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
As of Chapter 6
The novel's grammar is garbage. Let me tell you now, lest you have some misunderstanding and accidentally read the first chapter.
Pronouns, Common spelt Commun, status screen saying MAXIMO level in stead of MAXIMUM. Intermediate and intermediacy confused, often in the same status window. I could go on for a while. It seems to me that the author, if he doesn't know a word he will replace it with his native tongue, which I assume to be Spanish or Italian or something. I have no problem with the author speaking a different language, but at least write in a single language! There is little consistency with perspective, or with how the author uses grammar. It is all messed up, and really detracts from the story, which could be good if there was more detail.
Sometimes it seems like the author just can't be bothered to explain something. For example in the chapter where the MC writes in diary entries, there is a day where it says, and I am paraphrasing, I made a skill called Cannon Destroyer. It is powerful so I shouldn't stand near it when it goes off. No Joke! There is no explanation for what the skill is, how it is used or even what school of magic it is from.
The actual story if written better, could be really good! Being the only one to believe a message in every machine on earth is stupid, but suspension of disbelief can handle that. The sudden OP ness of his training is silly, but explained by God later. In general, with more description and character building, it would be much better.
The character is shit. Basically a random dude whose only characteristic is he spent a year randomly getting into shape for an apocalypse just because he has nothing to lose. No advancement of character so far, just him talking to god which reveals very little about him.
Overall, this novel, and author have the potential to be an respectable book. As is though, the story is garbage. I quit at chapter 6 because I couldn't stomach more shit grammar. I hope it gets better
earthdrakeRoyal Road
★ 0.5
Not an in depth review. Couldn't continue after chapter 5.
The story is not overly original nor bad, and you have to take things for granted a bit too much just to be able to follow the story. There are several errors of logic (using the story logic) and a few places that are just poorly written.
Above all still is the HORRIBLE grammar. This doesn't need a proofreader but an army of them. SO MANY MISTAKES.
If you are looking for another apocaliptic story with a game system and don't care about the grammar here you go, if not, you should keep looking there are far better things to read.