Struggle
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Mae, a slightly below average high school senior, is thrust into the world of fantasy. Levels, skills, and otherworldly beings now bombard her daily life. Will her mental chains ever be broken? Will she sacrifice her humanity to gain unfathomable power?
[I am a new author. Please give me honest and brutal criticism. It's the only way I can improve and give you a better story. Updates will vary for now.]
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2018
- Author
- Rockingsouth
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.5/ 5.0
- Followers
- 20
- Views
- 9,939
Chapters(11 total)
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(1)
- DaglesRoyal Road★★★★★ 4.5In general i like your story because even though the beginning is a bit cliche, it takes a sharp turn to something new after the first few chapters.
Grammar: no complaints here... I am sure I missed some errors for english isn’t my mother tongue, but thy weren’t noticeable enough to impact my reading experience in any way.
Story: As mentioned above, your story is quite refreshing and doesn’t follow other fictions with similar beginnings.
Style: I really like your style, especially how you somehow find the perfect timespan to describe something. So you don’t waste chapters for farming, nor do you rush combat scenes! Good job.
Character: this is the weakest point of your fiction. Most of your characters are just mentioned in passing, and even if their personalities are described, motivations are missed. Take for example the mother: she has a thoroughly unhealthy relationship with our protagonist, but we never know where her obsessive overprotectiveness comes from. Or the questionable and inexplicable mood swings of Mae in the beginning. What I am trying to say is that you have to work on your characters a bit before this can be a top class fiction, but for your first try it is an impressive work of art!
Keep going!