Silver and Gold

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2025

Author

tripfloyd_writes

• Silver and Gold
  Feb 14, 2025

Reviews

Community Reviews(2)

• Melanie86Royal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  Your short story "Silver and Gold" is a gripping and intense story that effectively combines the elements of suspense, action, and horror. The protagonist's battle for survival against werewolves in the Swedish wilderness is vividly portrayed, keeping readers on the edge of their seats. The descriptive language and fast-paced narrative create a sense of urgency and danger, making it easy to visualize the scenes.
  However, there are some grammatical errors and areas where the story could benefit from further refinement. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
  Grammar and Punctuation: Ensure consistent use of punctuation and proper sentence structure. For example, "I nearly jumped out of my jeans when a hair clawed fist burst through the drywall" should be "I nearly jumped out of my jeans when a hairy, clawed fist burst through the drywall."
  Character Development: While the protagonist's immediate actions and thoughts are well-described, adding more background information and internal monologue could help readers connect more deeply with the character.
  Action Clarity: Some action sequences can be made clearer to avoid confusion. For instance, the transition from being thrown off the hill to running should be smoothed out for better readability.
  Dialogue and Internal Thoughts: Incorporating more dialogue and internal thoughts can provide insight into the protagonist's mindset and enhance the story's depth.
  Overall, the basic storyline is strong, and with some polishing, "Silver and Gold" has the potential to be an even more compelling and engaging read. I would though however, for future reference, try to experiment with 3rd person POV. 1st person POV is difficult to read these days and to pull it off, you really have to do it well. You managed well; I’d give you a 6/10 for the effort. I did enjoy the journey
• RznRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  This story is about hunting werewolves and it has a few points that kind of gives me pause with the setting, but nothing major. This is a gritty action short story and the descriptions and action are mostly good, it does have some minor concerns with the flow of combat and some trivial details of the pre-dawn light. The story works, I think it gets a bit into the story too fast and pulls out the ending maybe a little shorter than it should. This was good.