Shattered Orbital: Alice

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

TKBarnes

• CH 10: The lesson's fallout
  Apr 13, 2023
• CH 9: First Lessons
  Apr 7, 2023
• CH 8: Visit to the Cobbler
  Apr 4, 2023
• CH 7: Visit to the Seamstress
  Mar 30, 2023
• CH 6: Meeting the Village
  Mar 27, 2023
• CH 5: Arrival
  Mar 24, 2023
• CH 4: Encounter
  Mar 22, 2023
• CH 3: A Walk in the Woods
  Mar 20, 2023
• CH 2: First Day
  Mar 17, 2023
• CH 1: New-born
  Mar 13, 2023
• Prologue 3/3: First Meeting
  Mar 10, 2023
• Prologue 2/3: The Times Just Before
  Mar 8, 2023
• Prologue 1/3: The Times Between
  Mar 6, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(7)

• FlockRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This story was a very fun read for me personally. I loved many of the aspects, such as the slow world building, the character interactions, and the semi-isekai like feel to it.
  Style:
  I think the style of this story is great; there are some amazing back-and-forths; the comedy is a really nice touch; things are explained very well; and the author's writing is very descriptive.
  The only issue I had with this (and I'm sure it doesn't come as a major shock) was the prologue, specifically parts 1 and 2 (part 3 was great).
  All in all, they are written very well. The descriptions, the story, and the explanations. Those aren't what I have an issue with. The main thing is its place in the story as a whole.
  As the author themselves mentioned, it's a huge info dump, and in some cases, that might be necessary; however, I believe it really slows the story down to a crawl, and in some aspects, it may even ruin a lot of the world building by simply giving the audience all or most of what there is to know from the get-go. Not to mention, it seems to drive readers away with such a massive exposition based on the author's words.
  I believe revealing certain aspects of the world during dialogue or certain important events throughout the story would help build a better understanding of them.
  What my reasoning for all this comes down to is that if or when information from the prologue is mentioned, rather than having the reader think back to what they read at the beginning, it would be better to explain it then and there or slowly reveal details about what you just mentioned; this would just help the reader with memorization.
  Story:
  This story is amazing, and it's clear to me that the author put an absurd amount of time into crafting this world and its characters, and while the story itself is just beginning, there is a lot that has yet been revealed with The Ring, DIs, Alice's true name, her purpose, etc.
  Again, a minor issue, but at this point in time I don't believe it really matters,
• wk - pppRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Its a good read if you want a slice of life and interesting concept from time to time. Additionally its fun and enjoyable to read, if your like me who wants to read some fun and adventure type of story. Furthermore, it has a twist of mystery in it that can hook you. Though the beginning can be a turn off if you're just starting to read it. Since it it an info dump. Overall, just give it a try. You might like it
• Rookie12Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This review is based on eight chapters plus three prologue chapters that were available at the time.
  I highly recommend the novel if you're looking for wholesome moments and a protagonist you can root for. The premise is amazing! The MC who lost everything and is now getting a second chance in life, an AI (or the Digital Intelligence as her species is named in the story) who only wants to reconnect with humanity and gain access to vast knowledge to live ever happily, and a colorful cast of side characters—everything works simply superbly in this world.
  Brief story. Once humanity reached for the stars, but the war happened, and now humanity is reduced back to the medieval era, only with magic, monsters, and new races. A host of sentient AIs try their best to find a way back to Earth, but they are running out of resources. In this troubling time, one of the AI finds our MC, who somehow ended up stuck in VI after an unfortunate death. And from here, the story starts...
  Style and worldbuilding. Everything is thought out. Why can't AI simply rebuild humanity? They were created with intentional flaws based on humans, Whimsy, the AI who finds the MC, is a therapist, she simply does not possess the knowledge necessary. Why can't she learn? The main library is on the planet. And so on and so forth. Every detail is very well made to suit and slightly push our hero into a journey that hopefully brings happiness to them all. The first prologue also shows us the sheer scope of the ancient conflict.
  Grammar. I'm not a native English speaker here, but the grammar is simply pristine, nearly perfect, with a rich vocabulary. The author has fixed all mistakes by now, and the story looks just great!
  Story. I felt for the character, felt when the MC found her adopted "daughter", felt for the AI and her longing to obtain happiness, and felt joy at the fact that some problems are working out. So far, there is no complex plot or dastardly evil wanting to destroy the world, but rather the g
• Scholar_GirogiRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  So I enjoy sci-fi stories and light-hearted adventures. However, I won't lie that it I had to make an effort not to skim the three-part prologue. It's a lot of info, and the author is aware of that. I think it's a shame, though, for it to be skipped; I wonder if it would be better to disperse it throughout the story in bits.
  Style: Passionate, engaging, with a good flow of words. Nothing felt off, and the quality is consistent. Though, again, perhaps the stream of words is a bit heavy on detail. I don't mind it too much, but new readers should be aware. There is quite a bit of wholesomeness with a delightful amount of humour.
  Story: Strong world-building, the one benefit of excessive info is if you push through it all, it makes for a massive world that will engage the reader. There's enough development in the plot to keep your attention, and I think it has the potential to be something amazing.
  Grammar: Not my area, apologies. But nothing is glaring to me apart from tiny inconsistencies, like punctuation and spelling. Again, I'm more of a flow reader, and reading felt good.
  Character: One of the strong points of this book. There is a wonderful dynamic between the characters with believable personalities. They are fun, quirky and generally fun to read and learn more about regarding how they are and how they might grow.
  Overall this is a well-thought book with a lot of love. I recommend it to those who are up for something nice for the heart. :]
• S.nufflesRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  I feel like I was reading a university paper in the absolute best way possible. They often say sci-fi can't survive with painstaking world-building and exposition dumps, but I absolutely love the way it's been done here. The way the writing compliments it is just so cool, and I'll go into detail.
  Style: is something I cannot get over. Whatever sentence I write, it just feels...deliberate. It was placed there for a specific reason, and it delivers new information all the god-damn time, whether that be through direct explanation, or the characters simply talking as they would. There is so much technical jargon, but none of it ever feels contrived or forced because it feels as though the author knows what they're talking about.
  Grammar: is a bit weird. It's not bad asides from a few missing commas, but there's just errors that need to be removed with a once over either by the author themselves or by Grammarly or a similar program. Nothing immersion breaking, but it's just there. Still, it's completely overshadowed by the good points.
  Story: is probably the second-strongest aspect, right after style. Although the plot itself as of now is still in its early stages and is subject to a slower form of pacing (which totally works, for this novel), I found the two prologue chapters absolutely mesmerising. The most creative exposition dumps I have ever seen reading on this site, and I felt I learnt so much in such an interesting way, both from the perspectives of Whimsy and Alice. As for plot, I have no clue where it's going, but I've got a feeling it'll be good, especially considering the fight that happens during chapter 3.
  Character: is also so fun to read. The way Whimsy and Alice talk with each other is so pleasant. It's unexpected for the genre and the situation, but seeing one is a gleeful wannabe adventurer and the other is the 'God of Joy', it doesn't feel unjustified and that's great because the dialogue is superb. It's witty and dynamic, even when it's not revealing
• kanundraRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Opening.
  The author’s well aware the prologue is something else, and yes it is tough to get through, it has some interesting moments and you do want to read more, but it’s a lot to digest and I wanted to skip it, did, then came back, and read more. I read through a fair bit, then came back again to read more of the chapters. It really is a huge world with a lot to work through, its not a bad thing at all, it just means I might well come back again later, because I want to fully understand it all, and get to know it as much as the author. It has that much potential. (Do not give up on this)
  Story.
  I do like the slice of life way of writing, everything is nice, steady, there’s interesting developments and characterisations that you want to get to know more of. It’s also clear the author really knows this world and story well I just want to get it across to me as a reader just as well. Prologue part 3, (I really need a hug) and chap 4 are really well done. Especially with the POV swaps.
  I would consider condensing, or removing the first 3 parts, if you think the main chapters can carry it forward enough at a later date. For some just skipping to the first main chapter might be enough, and you do give enough warning about it with the prologues. I fully get why they’re there for now, but as this develops you may well find you don’t need them.
  Style.
  It’s a huge world, a lot to take on, and a lot of characters to juggle. Ideally take another look at this, and how each of them works around each other, especially all those you want to include in pov for the village, I need to know them and see them more at the start. I’m not meaning huge lists of characters for me to get my head around, but so that they stick in my mind a bit more. I really want a word document here, so I can search them out and poke some holes in it myself easier, I want to track all of this wonderful story. It’s vast, it’s immersive and there’s not much like this on RR that I’ve seen so far. If you’re int
• WintydunnoRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  One of the things I like most about Royal Road is the ability to read raw fiction. Unedited, unfiltered. The thoughts, the feelings, the passion and the focus of the author will come through in a way that you don't get with professionally published books. Shattered Orbital: Alice is a great example of this.
  Style: 4
  Building a world is fun and that joy is something a writer wants to share. However, it is often not needed. The proper thing to do is to hold back, to slowly insert bits and pieces of information as the story goes along. The prologue contains wonderful details and a wonderful work of in-character perspective, but the entire first part of it could be dropped entirely. It's interesting to read but it would be more interesting to learn, slowly and organically throughout the story.
  The descriptions and perspective are still present in the main story, which is fun to read and still leaves more to be discovered, so the essence of adventure is still there, even though the past has been laid out.
  Story: 4.5
  There is a grand vision, a massive world and a detailed system. There is an outline that is both large, leaving a lot of room for potential, but also well defined, letting the reader know what kind of story this is. Adventure, exploration, action, and more. The scope is by far the strongest part of the work with the biggest draw.
  Grammar: 4
  There are a number of noticable errors in tense but it isn't bad enough to do more than make me blink and slow down for a moment. Very easily correctable. I apologize for not noting them all but I was having a lot of fun just reading.
  Character: 4
  At the current point in the story, there are only 2 characters, both with very different backgrounds. Their very different views of the world are understandable and the differences make an interesting dynamic. The only complaint I have is in the way they talk. It's difficult for me to know who is saying what because they both share the same general mannerisms, right down to how o