Description

Kindhearted Shirisha tends to the people of her mountain village as they struggle through a harsh winter, waiting anxiously for the god-like being that brings the springtime. When their worshipped savior is murdered by the reckless young hunter Sang and the village is swallowed by a cold despair once again, Shirisha leads a small group on a journey down the mountainside to investigate. They find a small glimmer of hope, and the very one who brought the disaster, showing no remorse, joins them as an ally.

Community Reviews(2)

LoeksnokesRoyal Road

★★★★★ 5.0

This is a beautiful story telling of compassion and of hurt, and how our actions become magnified out into the world, turning it and shaping it in time.
The style is as of a cultural founding myth, told from Nepalese perspective. The time is from before Spring came naturally to the world, when humans constantly fought the cold and each year Spring's warmth would follow on the tail of a Great Serpent. The Serpent carrying a duty of visiting everywhere dragging Springtime in her wake.
I saw no issues with the grammar, although I also was not particularly looking for anything.
The score of the story is well-plotted and it is clear the mechanics of what would happen were all understood before any writing took place. The medium for these mechanics, and the driving force for all actions are the interpersonal relationships that develop, and either the joy or guilt that individuals feel in response to their roles in these relationships.
The characters are very well thought out. There are not many in the story, perhaps seven archetypes altogether, but it gets the job done. The main characters are beautifully drawn, and stay true to their hearts in all instances.
A short gem, well worth reading.
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Added after first post as I realised I had not addressed some points perhaps brought up by another review. In the background of this story is a small village. Their mode of operation is very simple, and the people in general live in a state where they have a natural inclination to let people be, even when making mistakes, and to love them anyway. This is very similar to how a lot of native american tribes ran internally before the Europeans arrived. This plays a major role in the story as a main character (Sang) acts out of hand when he comes into power, and this puts the whole tribe at risk. He should have been stopped, but he did not really listen to the elders when they gave hints, and other Hunters were too cowerd by his nature. All of this is just part of the initi

luda305Royal Road

★★★★★ 4.5

This is a real hidden gem. A completed novella length story with no ratings whatsoever. Damn.
Style: the style of the story is fine. It reminds me a bit of a fairy tale or other myth. Not super sophisticated but it works well for the subject and is well executed.
Grammar. Just a few nits.
Story: The story has a good premise and is being well executed. There are two significant flaws. First, the background for Sang about running off into the night after his father is odd. That however might be explained later. Second, more seriously, the author world builds the village as lacking any food preservation for meat or produce. This is extremely odd, as food preservation is one of the oldest and foundational technologies for an agricultural society. It ends up necessary though in order to explain away why Sang's overhunting in one year led to a food shortage that same year. That said, there is also the possibility that the author needs to brush up on the management of wild animal stocks, because there is potentially a problem there too when it comes to how the food situation is described.
Characters: the characters are pretty good. It's a simple life they lead, but there is a feeling of depth from long interaction between the characters. That said, per my above point regarding Sang, it's a little odd that the other authorities in the village (chief, elders) were unable to stop Sang's overhunting. The other hunter's reticence is explained, but not the rest of the village.

Serpent of the Spring

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Chapters(18 total)

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Community Reviews(2)