Serpent girl Lily.

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2015

Author

darkgigi

• Chapter 14: how? Where?..... And who??
  Dec 13, 2015
• Chapter 13: The Heart?
  Dec 13, 2015
• Chapter 12: thunder crow.
  Dec 12, 2015
• Chapter 11: Thunder?.
  Dec 11, 2015
• Chapter 10: Life in the forest.
  Dec 10, 2015
• Chapter 9: Long tailed silver wind fox.
  Dec 9, 2015
• Chapter 8: Towards the forest.
  Dec 9, 2015
• Chapter 7: The forest!?
  Dec 9, 2015
• Chapter 6: Holly.
  Dec 8, 2015
• Chapter 5: The library.
  Dec 8, 2015
• Chapter 4: the arrogant prince.
  Dec 8, 2015
• Chapter 3: Realm of Soul expanding.
  Dec 7, 2015
• Chapter 2: Breakthrough.
  Dec 7, 2015
• Chapter 1: Disturbance.
  Dec 7, 2015

Reviews

Community Reviews(4)

• maou201Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Grammar isn't nearly as bad as other review stated, it is actually relatively good for the most part. Really like your pacing as well, you're neither rushing it or needlessly drawing it out.  Also if you want to go the Yuri route, then go for it!!!!!
• ZhaitanRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Usually I don't rate and comment (since it’s a pain IMO) but I was surprised to see the extremely low rating for this story at three stars which honestly does it a great injustice when compared to most of the unoriginal tosh on this site that easily exceeds four stars. Now don’t get me wrong so far this story isn’t a grand masterpiece however this story is still in its infancy yet here it is already being bashed and insulted for no good reason other than subjective viewpoints, the only thing to objectively criticize are the minor grammar mistakes such as spelling that I’ll go into later; which trust me on this site it’s not that bad(lol). The reason why I’m bringing this up is because I’ve seen a lot of good authors on this site just quit writing because some whiny trolls are the most vocal of their readers (so here I am unfortunately, I like my free time). So to end this rant I’m going to show the trolls an example of how to write an at least semi decent review if they want to be taken seriously.
  Style 4/5: your writing style is easy to understand as I’ve never found myself lost and questioning WTF is going on? This happens when authors have pacing issues, bad and inconsistent types of writing in other words a bad style. This however is somewhat hindered by your sporadic sentence structure mistakes which I’ll go more into detail in the grammar section of the review.
  Story 4/5: So far I’ll admit at first the setting seemed like your standard xianxia nothing too special, soon though the world is slowly fleshed out and deviates from the standard with beasts being far more powerful that cultivators could ever hope to imagine becoming just being an example. The story is further propelled by the actions of the protagonist being forced into a situation that puts her into a setting where she is way out of her depth and the slow arrival at the mysterious heart of the forest (which you should have kept it a bigger secret to build tension IMO lol). This is different from your
• SugarbabesXPRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  please tell me there is no yuri. I have nothing against lesbians. its just that there is too much books with female lesbians. =.=’
• flclwillRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  Your story could have a very high potential, but as it stands at this point in time it needs major improvements. Your understanding of basic grammar is appaling. With large mistakes in word usage and sentence structuring not mentioning lack of proper capitaization.  Your story has a good idea as the core but you are very vague in the structure and components that your world is cromprised of, from what I can tell you are building a wuxia style world but you have not explained any of its core components. As a reader it is hard to grasp the total scope of the picture that you want to portray as a writer. You often place too much emphasis on small details that dont advance the story or pertain to the characters are expirenecing. The internal dialouge of the main character can be interesting if used in moderation but as it stands you are relying much to heavily on it. Its good to have an intriguing main character and side character relationships as of now you have only formed base line and very transparent relationships between characters. Give your characters reasons to be having conflicts and ambitions why is your mc training? Why is Kaspian after her other than sex? Why was she chosen as a queen (because her cultivation seems pretty darn low)?  What are the realms of cultivation in detail? What are the mc's current relationships with her family? This work needs a consolidation on its base and to build from there, as it stands there is no goal and is rather fluffy and disinteresting.