Saints and Suffering: A Naruto Fanfiction

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Synopsis: Naruto and Sasuke were unable to defeat Kaguya the first time around, and suffer immensely for their failure. They travel back in time to right their wrongs, but struggle with the repercussions of their failure and the unintended consequences of their actions.

Author's Note: This is fanfiction, I am a first time author, and I make no claims nor guarantees to quality. I have another story floating around in my head, but I am writing this first in order to practice my skills and gain feedback. Please feel free to give constructive criticism, I will try to read and respond. No guarantees to upload schedule or speed will be made. I work a full time job, and I am not particularly fast at writing, though maybe speed will increase as I become more practiced with my storytelling.

This work will essentially be my playground moving forward; I'm going to write about scenarios that tickle my fancy, and the overall story may suffer from it. I will endeavor to keep continuity though. I have an outline that I am working on, and there is an overall arc to the story already.

Furthermore, as of the beginning of this novel, my intention with this novel is to explore negative emotions and use my writing as a form of meditation/therapy. When I am sad, I will write sad things, and when I'm happy, the story will be happy.

Lastly, there will be religious undertones every once in a while. Hopefully nothing too heavy handed though.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: apotheosis1321

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 155
Views: 191,441

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(8)

notsashaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I thought all elements of your story were great. I'm having trouble coming up with any suggestions to give, though I know theoretically something can always be improved. I think in the current form your style and storytelling are unique and well thought out. Your characters are relatable and stay in character throughout novel (hehe this is a pun in case that's not clear) settings and situations. Grammar is off here and there but it doesn't detract from the overall reading experience.
cyburgerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
There are some slight issues with formatting and style, where some sentences and dialogue is split into very short lines. It was initially jarring but as I binged the entire story in one night, I stopped noticing it after 6-7 chapters. I have not noticed many spelling errors, but I was bingeing so take that with a grain of salt. Nothing so horrible that it ruins your immersion though.
That is my only slight complaint! It is otherwise an engaging premise for a narutofic (sometimes tricky to find something original), with good execution of action scenes (fighting and training), character development/portrayal (emotional moments are well handled) and keeping a sense of pacing (which some fics with grand ideas struggle with - they get bogged down in slice-of-life). I particularly like how extreme the initial premise is (I won't spoil) as it lends to some interesting abilities and interactions. My favourite thing about narutofics is the 'magic system', and that is represented wonderfully here too, with enough details to satisfy but not bore you.
I made this account just to review this story - it really is worth your time! Can't wait to see where it goes. It is unbelievable that this is a first-time author’s first story.
KODAKRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
i gave it 5 stars cause simply it is incredibly hard to find fanfiction that doesnt become a self insert wish fulfillment in a couple dozen chapters while this story is on chap 51 and the quality is insane and the story is becoming even better i even forget when im reading this that this is a fanfic
StressedByAMountianOfBooksRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I really like the deriction this story is going and it is one of the better naruto fanfic and defintly the best when it come to the time travel aspect of them
i gave it a four and a half because i treid to give it a five but miss clicked
mark henryRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The characters are decently fleshed out, where they are not just anime tropes. The story flow is engaging, goes off the rails pretty quick and doesnt rehash canon while keeping most characters and their motivations to their canon selves.
Just one part where the story/character seems to break is Minato's suicide attempt, it feels totally for plot convinience. Minato not grasping kushina's point of view regarding jinchuriki status of naruto and minato's subsequent overreaction not thinking about what it would mean for konoha, both seem a little less fleshed out than rest of the work.
Apart from that one flaw rest of the work is pretty good.
LifeReverseRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I was gonna give it five stars at the beginning when both Sasuke and Naruto were shown in equal amounts of time but it seems that the author focused completely on Naruto and there is barely a sentence or two with Sasuke in it for the past 10-20 chapters. Besides that the story is great and the characters choices actually impact the world around them seeing as canon was throughly derailed.
luminariumRoyal Road
★ 1.0
Story:
Written text isn't a good medium to just describe what happens in a battle or war blow by blow, but that's exactly what happens here: it's dry, endless, and lacking in character development after the first few chapters (and they're Gary Stu's besides). Unlike the canon anime where the battles have emotional impact on the characters and leads to plot development, here we get... Just the fighting. And like, *most* of the story is fighting. Especially so when the particular fighting sequences seem completely random and don't logically lead from one to the next, without any particular overarching objective that the protagonists are working toward (just senseless violence), makes it quite an unrewarding experience.
Character:
Even after reading the entire story, I still don't get what is up with the two protagonists, their backstory, their motivations and desires (which should never be the case for protagonists). Other characters are also underdeveloped, which makes them unmemorable as well as making it hard to anticipate what's going to happen next in the story. For the most part, it seems that characters aren't driving the plot; the plot is just happening to them.
Style:
Much of it doesn't make much sense, like the rantings of some of the side characters, but also even some of what the narration is saying. I get the feeling that the story is going for cool factor, rather than being easy to understand and reasonable, because there's random stuff happening all over the place that aren't even hinted act earlier and don't make any logical sense. It's certainly going to be hard to follow if you haven't watched the canon.
Way too much use of "was" makes the story feel passive.
Grammar:
There's a couple spelling and grammatical errors here and there. There's paragraph breaks intra-dialogue for no reason and the punctuation for that is done wrong. Paragraph spacings are inconsistent (some have single line breaks, others have double line breaks, without rhyme or reason).
SolariumOnTheMoonRoyal Road
★ 0.5
The story starts strong but quickly falls apart. The premise is decent with two very powerful shinobi going back in time to stop the big bad.
The story quickly falls apart with characters making inane decisions and acting like teenagers instead of trained ninjas that have been in multiple wars. This issue extends to everyone even commanding officers and jounins. The plot feels forced with characters making decisions simply because the author needed it to happen.
I could go on and on but hopefully, this will save you from the disappointment I experienced when the author ended the story by rushing to the ending once he received negative feedback. If you do decide to read expect the story to go from 0-100 and then end abruptly.
Examples of things that don't make any sense:
• Naruto's plan to warn everyone falls apart immediately because a jounin gets mad he calls the Yondaime Hokage 'Minato' and plants a knife on him to frame him. This is something you would see in a bad cultivation novel, not in Naruto. If you know anything about Naruto you would see why a jounin doing this makes no sense. Reeks of a forced plot.
• Minato tries to commit suicide because Kushina is angry with him. This leads to him falling unconscious. You'll never see him do anything for the rest of the story. (This is an experienced ninja who is also the Hokage why was his first idea to commit suicide?)
• Naruto and Sasuke do nothing to prevent the future of a dead world caused by a war with Kaguya. Naruto creates a fake persona to act as an academy instructor and Sasuke chills in the Uchiha compound for 15+ chapters doing nothing.