Roll for Initiative

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Jonathan Johnson has lead a less than comfortable life. Just as things settle down, and things start looking up life has a funny way of sweeping you off your feet. Now Jon negotiates with creatures of yore, trains burgeoning adventurers, raises dragons, and fights off creatures intent to rip the very soul from his body. The worst part is the prophecy regaling him as some sort of evil monstrosity intent on destroying the world, but nobody told him that.

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This story is a revamp of my original story with the same name. Characters, and plot are very different. I encourage people who dropped the story to give the new version a try.

Cover art cred toSergey-LesiukWith a slight edit by myself

https://www.deviantart.com/sergey-lesiuk/art/fortune-346147525

Schedule: Atleast one chapter week. Subject to more depending on my mood, plot, and freetime.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2018
Author: Lapisgollum

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 287
Views: 86,528

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(7)

TelRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Summoned Hero genera.....so many demon lords, so many corrupt kingdoms weaponizing Hero's.
Yeah that is not what this is about. :)
Playing Civ in a magic noble/peasent kigdom?
All the goodness hero's do in their off hours.....crafting, magic experiments, goons, scamming the locals, alcohol, weapons of mass destruction.....
Wait are we sure this guy isn't the next demon lord?
muahahahahaha
seriously though decent plot, good grammer, good world building, and a lack of the usual mcguffins that haunt summoned hero stories. can't wait to see where it goes.
AscendantRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
It is an amazing story I love the dynamic of him preparing the world for an invasion from earth its an original and interesting idea
chazziRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Let me preface by saying that I have read both the previous version and the re-write of this story. Both are pretty different at this point.
The story includes a bit of DnD elements and transported to a new world idea. The story idea is interesting and I would recommend at least checking it out.
Some of the goals/aims of the characters have been a bit nebolous so far, kinda gives a slice of life feel. For example the main goal of the MC so far is to basically survive and he has this goal pretty much sorted.
Character interactions and development seems to be progressing, atleast initally the all the characters were a little bland.
The writing itself is very decent and the grammer is way better than average for this site.
Though at this point there are a lot of open plot threads all over the place and the story still feels like it has not decided a direction to focus on. For example the kingdom building, adventuring in general, revenge at gods, etc.
One recommendation to the author, that it is possible to have all these elements in a story (atleast a DnD story) but you should space the seperate ideas to different parts. Like having a kingdom building focus for a bit (develop the town, walls, do quest for locals, increase trade opportunities) and an adventure focus for a stretch, you could then finish with main storyline.
Also I feel like some of the betrayals/plot twist have come too early in the story, that sort of character betrayal should come latter in the story when all characters involved a sufficiently developed to make it more impactful and also logical.
In conclusion give this a try, it is definitely worth a read.
iyenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Only five chapters out at the time of this review but doing this to help the author as well as draw more readers to what I think is a great story in the making.
Style: Generally good. One small point would be try to use more varied vocabulary when talking instead of "say/said", as well as making adding those words in the first place - dialogue often jumps from person to person (though this could be a stylistic choice by the author). Overall definitely better than RRL average.
Story: Again only 5 chapters out but I'm still interested about what's going to happen next. Personally I think it might be going a little fast but it's too early to really say.
Grammar: While there are no obvious typos in the story there is one in the actual synopsis (heros should be heroes) which I would change ASAP. Also, there should be punctuation after speech - if the sentence is over, then stick a full stop before the speech mark. If you're continuing after the speech, put a comma there. If you fix these things, this would be a 5/5.
Character: At the moment enjoying the different characters. Interaction doesn't feel unnatural, which is good. I feel that the MC is reacting too passively to losing everyone in his past life but I recognise that it's really hard to write convincing emotional trauma. The photos on the phone was a nice touch, both reminding the MC about his situation and opening him up as a character.
All in all, I'm really enjoying this story and the way it at least in part tries to deviate from the typical stereotypes of this genre. Hope the author continues!
Quartz RingRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I thoroughly enjoyed your work. There were a few minor errors overall but not something to scoff at this fiction is a great representation of a good Dm, and his willingness to expand a story beyond the norm. If youre looking for a nice wuick read this is right up your alley, but alas it ends too abruptly and deserves to be finished.
JackStilesRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
So far he can do no wrong.
Remembers everything from the perfect recipe of gunpowder, how to manage politics, how to handle people, planning for great economic growth. Every situation he is god-like in ability to handle it outside of strength. Anything bad that happens to him isn't his fault and he ends up coming out looking better in the eyes of everyone.
All this without his actual ability or power to see character sheets of any person alive and modify them if he so wished. Or magic, with literal card tricks. I can understand the excitement of writing what you would do in a new world with the knowledge we have now. But I seriously doubt it would go smoothly, someone intelligent enough to recreate these ideas would do so well in foreign social settings from Guardsman, to barons, leaders, and nobles.
On top of it all, he is missing basic minor things, like pasteurization. If you ever get sent back in time or to a new world, remember and know what pasteurization is. How about metallurgy, something as basic as the screw.
All and all, we get little interaction between people, it's not a character story. Mildly interesting as it is not the everyday summoned hero.
th30dorRoyal Road
★ 0.5
Extremely naive MC with plot armor. Sees himself as a reasonable adult, but acts like a naive 9 year old.
World building almost non-existent. Human interactions are weird and unrealistic. Gets warned to not disclose a secret, immediately tells the secret to literally the 2nd person he meets. Within 5 mins of meeting said person: "Can I trust you" "Yes". Thats it.
Good premise, ruined by frankly lazy writing. Stay away people.