Rise of the Fishmen - A Hostile Takeover

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

They came from the deep to demand their due: total dominion over land and sea. Fish they were, and men they were too. Majestic, in a way. Stupid, in another. But sometimes the stupidest things reveal the deepest truths—and so it was… with Fishmen.

A prophecy they had, which quickly failed—leaving them at the mercy of Gary Graves. Cameraman. Opportunist. Delusional Optimist. Drowning in ambition. Yearning to be seen.

Together, they went viral. Then they went corporate. Then they went too damn far, launching a seafood delivery app capable of disrupting the entire ecosystem.

Fish Direct™ was born. And yes, they delivered.

⚠️WARNING!This book contains:

Profanity (excessive and unnecessary)Inanity (elongated for your pleasure)Humanity (in small doses)Fishmanity (in large doses)A manatee (hard to miss)Sean Hannity (REDACTED)Hilarity (questionable at best)And one crown-approved hermit

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2025
Author: T. H. Watts

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.9/ 5.0
Followers: 33
Views: 22,990

What readers say about Rise of the Fishmen - A Hostile Takeover

“If you like the absurdist comedy of Ricky Gervais while trying to figure out what would happen if the media actually found footage of sea monster fish, this book is for you and it's completely unhinged in the best possible way. What starts as a bizarre disr…”
cursedclarkeRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“Disclosure: This review was written for a review swap. Listen, I've seen the Lovecraft pastiches. I've seen that episode of the Simpsons where dolphins take over Springfield. I thought the concept of fishmen had run dry. I was not expecting to fall out of m…”
Battle_Sloth1Royal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

cursedclarkeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
If you like the absurdist comedy of Ricky Gervais while trying to figure out what would happen if the media actually found footage of sea monster fish, this book is for you and it's completely unhinged in the best possible way. What starts as a bizarre disruption at a boatshed press conference quickly turns into a genre-bending, fish-flavored satire of modern media, influencer culture, and the human obsession with being seen. And somehow, it all works. Ridiculously well.
T. H. Watts writes with the kind of energy you’d get if someone gave a stand-up comedian a bottle of hot sauce and a typewriter. The tone balances absurdity and insight, switching between farce and emotional depth like it’s nothing. One minute you’re watching fishmen summon marlin like eldritch Uber drivers, the next you’re in the middle of a childhood memory that punches you in the chest. It never takes itself too seriously, and yet somehow ends up saying more about attention, ambition, and legacy than most serious novels manage.
The story moves fast, with each chapter upping the stakes in increasingly ridiculous and strangely believable ways. The pacing is tight, the scenes escalate naturally, and the humor is consistent without feeling repetitive. It’s part sitcom, part sci-fi invasion, part media critique, and somehow the transitions between those modes are smooth. You never feel jarred, just pulled along by the sheer commitment to the bit.
The characters are what seal it. Gary, the barely functional cameraman-turned-manager, is equal parts pitiful and compelling. He has no idea what he’s doing, which is exactly why he’s the perfect face for the kind of fame the internet worships. The fishmen, somehow both ancient and brand-new to the modern world, are distinct, hilarious, and weirdly lovable. Even the side characters like Jim The Money Devereaux and Bushman Bob bring serious energy every time they show up. Everyone in this book is a caricature, but they’re all dialed in just enough to avoid bei
Battle_Sloth1Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Disclosure: This review was written for a review swap.
Listen, I've seen the Lovecraft pastiches. I've seen that episode of the Simpsons where dolphins take over Springfield. I thought the concept of fishmen had run dry.
I was not expecting to fall out of my computer chair with laughter with every single chapter.
Firstly, let's talk characters: We've got Gary Graves, the cameraman chasing approval, power and wealth, against the backdrop of the dying New Zealand media landscape. Gary's a hillarious character, and even as he tries to be devious and slimy and underhanded, I can't help but like the guy.
Then there are the cast of supporting characters: Jim "The Money" Deveraux, whose determination in chasing scoops is matched only by the amount of kids he has. We've also got Crawford Thorne, the Blofeld of the seafood industry, an almost cartoonish bully, whose wickedness and pettiness know no bounds. And of course, we have our fishmen: Gary, Greg and Gorbachev, our ocean-controlling wannabe overlords, hellbent on world domination.
The satire is on point: Greg isn't a visionary by any means: He's openly an opportunist, who takes advantage of the situation to improve his own, by any means. T.H. Watts dunks on everything from the Joe Rogan Experience, YouTube pranksters, to New Zealand business regulations.
Overall, this earned all five of its stars.
Deus Ex LachinaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Of all the RR stories I've read so far, the only one I like more than this one is my own. And that's my own. It's my baby. And, like an annoying mom, I'm always talking about it. But today, reader, I talk to you about this book.
Story: Oddly compelling. When it gets into its stride, I'm genuinely invested in this ridiculous man's journey to rule the world and/or make his mum proud. In a way, we're all Gary Graves. Or at least we know him.
Character: Gary Graves is best girl. My one wish in this department is that the fishmen should've been named earlier, just to keep track of them - the green one, the purple one, etc. gets used a lot very early on, and it's very difficult to follow.
Grammar: Some unnecessary commas and spaces for ellipses, but that's about it.
Style: Really funny and well-paced. The only note is that it sometimes undermines itself with fourth wall breaks that don't work for me. They're just self-deprecating and awkward. For instance, why does it have to be a plot hole that the fishmen know about cinema? Couldn't there just be a funny reason - or no reason, and just let that be inherently funny? Would definitely recommend nixing these gags - the single biggest thing that would improve this book.
FalstaffRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The best way I can describe this is, What We Do In The Shadows with fishmen.
The characters are delightfully stupid, but the jokes are clever and the story is focused. I was fully amused for the first few chapters, but by Chapters 8 and 9 I was laughing out loud in delight. This is funny.
Comedy is hard and subjective and I have no ground to offer criticism. I hope the author ignores all criticism and barrels forward, because I think they have a real talent, and humor is in desperate supply these days.
If I could change anything about the story, I'd change either Gary or Greg's name into something not 4-letters. Sorry to say, none of the fishmen are particularly distinctive, at least at this point in development, so it took me extra time and effort to differentiate Gary and Greg in the opening chapters.
Also, and I'm only at Chapter 14 but, I would give Gary some hidden skill or talent or competency sooner rather than later. In WWDITS, for example, Gizmo is a human familiar to a household of idiot vampires. He's just as dumb as the rest of them, but he's also the descendant of Van Helsing, so even though he's an endearing little dipshit, he's still a respectable character and one of the only ones with a shred of competence. Gary is this story's Gizmo, and I think he could stand to be a bit more competent.
And so far, I cannot differentiate any of the fishmen. They're all vaguely absurd and megalomaniacal, and that is enough for now, but long-term, they each could benefit from a little solo-development.
M.E. CheRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Rise of the Fishmen A Hostel Takeover is a hilarious and absurd story that follows Gary as he navigates a world where Fishmen attempt to take over a hostel. With its Three Stooges-like humor, relatable protagonist, and tongue-in-cheek tone, this story is a refreshing and entertaining read. While it doesn’t take itself too seriously, it manages to deliver moments of emotional poignancy that add depth to the narrative.
Consistent Humor: The story’s humor is well-executed, avoiding clichés and delivering jokes that feel natural and relatable.
Engaging Tone: The absurdity of the situation is balanced by the characters’ grounded reactions, creating a fun and immersive reading experience.
Strong Pacing: Each scene flows naturally into the next, keeping the story moving at a steady pace.
Emotional Depth: Moments like the bit about Gary’s mother add emotional weight to the story without detracting from its comedic tone.
I highly recommend Rise of the Fishmen Hostel Takeover to readers looking for a fun, lighthearted, and original story. If you enjoy absurd humor, relatable characters, and a touch of emotional depth, this is the story for you. Give the first chapter a try—you’ll likely find yourself reading far more than you expected!
Maverick SantroyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Honestly - truly - I was not looking forward to reading a story about Fishmen.
But holy crap! am I glad I started reading this! It's hilarious in the most ridiculous ways. I'm having a blast!
I like how it's not serious... AT ALL. I like how it's so playful, flippant and totally off the rails.
I hope this takes off for you, because the story is exactly what writing a book is about. Taking someone into another universe, leaving back all the strains of life.
Rune FalstaffRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The best way I can describe this is, What We Do In The Shadows with fishmen.
The characters are delightfully stupid, but the jokes are clever and the story is focused. I was fully amused for the first few chapters, but by Chapters 8 and 9 I was laughing out loud in delight. This is funny.
Comedy is hard and subjective and I have no ground to offer criticism. I hope the author ignores all criticism and barrels forward, because I think they have a real talent, and humor is in desperate supply these days.
If I could change anything about the story, I'd change either Gary or Greg's name into something not 4-letters. Sorry to say, none of the fishmen are particularly distinctive, at least at this point in development, so it took me extra time and effort to differentiate Gary and Greg in the opening chapters.
Also, and I'm only at Chapter 14 but, I would give Gary some hidden skill or talent or competency sooner rather than later. In WWDITS, for example, Gizmo is a human familiar to a household of idiot vampires. He's just as dumb as the rest of them, but he's also the descendant of Van Helsing, so even though he's an endearing little dipshit, he's still a respectable character and one of the only ones with a shred of competence. Gary is this story's Gizmo, and I think he could stand to be a bit more competent.
And so far, I cannot differentiate any of the fishmen. They're all vaguely absurd and megalomaniacal, and that is enough for now, but long-term, they each could benefit from a little solo-development.
AlexanderScottRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is full of hilarious moments, totally silly set pieces, and some downright strange fish and man related characters. But it’s a blast to read.
It kicks off with a prophecy about how the newly discovered fish men are going to take over the world, then we have whale riding and journalists trying to cover this strange story will potentially backwards motivstions.
Well written, clever, and entertaining - you’ll enjoy this romp in the sea. The story feels a bit like SpongeBob and his pals deciding to take over the world with a slightly lonely human coming along for the ride. Enjoy!
SK_PaydeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I really enjoyed the style of this! It's a very tongue-in-cheek fast paced (not too fast though) comedy with a whiff of 50s cinema or even radio to it. It has a very distinctive voice throughout, blending an old timey classic feel with modern culture references.
It's silly, it's absurd, it's a lot of fun.
Right up my street!
So, the story... it centres around a bit of a Gary. You know the sort, can't do anything right. Can't even aid a fishmen invasion without messing it up. Oh Gary. The fishmen take him hostage and hilarity ensues as Gary tries to make the best out of his new situation. That's all I'll say on that!
A pretty fresh concept - fresh out of the sea (sorry, had to!) - and written well. The chapter sizes are good - compact and punchy. Any longer and the comedy might wear thin. This all feels very well thought out and put together.
There aren't really many grammar / style issues - perhaps an over-reliance of em dashes in the beginning but I got used to the punchier style as I read on.
I don't want to talk too much about the fishmen as I don't want to ruin them. I will say that they have plenty of personality and charm.
An enjoyable read - would recommend!
GreenStudioRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This was by far one of the best reads I've had in a minute. I can only describe it as a refreshing drink that cools the mind on a scorching day.
What stood out to me the most was the punchy, almost human-like narrative style that made it feel as if someone was reading the story to me. It actually taught me a couple things about how I could improve my own narrative style.
Can't forget about my boy Gary Graves. The prophet ruining, cameraless camera man.
The only reason I'm giving it a 4.5 and not a 5 is simply for the fact that I prefer novels with heavier story. And that's purely subjective. Besides, this story is dark in its own silly way.
Looking forward to reading more!