Revenant's Redemption: Immortal Soul
Community Rating
Description
In the realm of Arindel, where the balance between life and death is maintained by a mysterious godlike system, Lena, a spirited young girl from a remote village, aspires to be a legendary adventurer. She often embarks on small missions with her friends to prove their mettle. But their courage is soon met with tragedy as they face monstrous creatures lurking near their village.
Death, however, is not the end for Lena. In an unforeseen twist of fate, her consciousness is resurrected within an unknown body and she is turned into an undead being. A glitch in the intricate system that governs life and death has granted her a second chance, albeit in an unforeseen form. Determined to survive and find a way to reverse her condition, Lena must adapt to her new existence as an undead and discover the secrets of her accidental resurrection.
However, first, she needs to survive.
Hi, this is a re-re-rewrite of a previous story, so many things will be different compared to before. For those who have read the previous version I hope you find this version better. Personally, I had many things that bugged me in the writing before and I hope you don't feel too conflicted with the changes. I tried to keep a lot of the things I wrote before but in the end, many things just had to go. The integration of the RPG-level system was a hard decision that ultimately was a necessity to keep the character balanced in order not to overpower her too much from the start. She will still kick ass so don't worry.
Like always, feel free to point out mistakes or give me some advice. I'm not English so if some phrases turn out weird please point it out.
The second big change to before is that I will an AI as a help, mainly in order to avoid repetition and to improve the overall vocabulary. I know that for some people this is a total nogo but I think that as long as it improves the story it is okay.
Also, be nice in the comments.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2022
- Author
- FuryOfTheSand
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.7/ 5.0
- Followers
- 179
- Views
- 3,306
Chapters(1 total)
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(2)
- luda305Royal Road★★★★★ 5.0Wow. Just, wow.
To begin, the first chapter is one of the best first chapters of anything on Royal Road. Having read over 600 fictions on this site, I'd say it's top 10, maybe top 5, for best first chapter.
The characters are incredibly well written and easily come alive in just a few paragraph. The raw emotions that our protagonist processes as she goes through undeath are very well conveyed. Now, some of this gets lost a little during the training montage with the mentor, but I think that's explained by her recovering from her trauma and re-centering her sense of self (and then there's later vengeance before the adventure begins).
Each chapter is very well structured, as are most of the paragraphs. It's easy to read, informative, and compelling. There's a timeskip to get over the training montage, but that is well-handled and while I'm sure there are some good stories there, it's good to get rolling with the focus of this story.
Now, on a microscale, there are significant issues with grammar, word choice, spelling, etc. But that is relatively easy to overlook considering how well each chapter is structured and flows. Further, the author appears fairly responsive in cleaning up with suggested edits.
Now, admittedly, I don't have a good sense of what that plot is. I think it's a slice-of-life adventure of a powerful undead out in the world under a secret identity just trying to live. But I'm grasping a bit at straws. - CrazedDutchmanRoyal Road★★★★ 4.0This fiction is about a young woman who together with her friends, are the "muscle" of the tiny village they live in. They try to clear out a wolf den in a cave only to discover something much scarier has done that for them. two out of five made it out, the MC is not among them.
STORY: The premise of a monstrous protagonist who is anathema to civilized society like Salvos or Sovereign of Wrath is tragically underserved. Unfortunetly, this story is slow going, and we have had little interactions with the outer world at the time of writing. The structure of the story is nothing special, the MC meets a mentor figure early in her unlife who takes pity on her and provides her with the means of keeping her real identity a secret. (Have I told the fact that the MC is mana vore yet? She needs to hunt magical monsters and do dungeon delving to keep herself satiated). I would argue the story really begins when she leaves the safety of her mentor and goes into the wilder world but, like I said, there hasn't been much of that yet.
CHARACTER: Lena is a fairly blank character in the beginning. She is an orphan who became brash and little arrogant together with her friends after sucesfully hunting the (weak) monsters around her village for some time and ultimately payed the price for it. The Lena after her death is still a bit naïve but is willing to learn quickly, acknowledges she doesn't know much, and is not an idiot. This already gives her points in my book.
STYLE: I am going to be honest, this is the weak point of this fiction. The writer is clearly an amateur who has a lot to improve on. The prose and sentence structure is often awkward or convoluted, but not to the extent where you lose the bigger picture.
GRAMMAR: This is good. A typo here and there, but they get corrected quickly when pointed out.