Rending Light
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Johannes has died in his original world. However, the twin goddesses of the Sun and Moon, gods from a different reality, have summoned him to save the world they oversee. Johannes agrees and starts his journey to become powerful enough to reach his goal, and gain allies to safeguard the world. However, beings that are as powerful or even more powerful than him decided to either do nothing, or actively hinder Johannes' goal. Will he be able to suceed in this mission? Or will he become someone who has to be erased for the sake of the world.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Author
- kokomole
Tags
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.0/ 5.0
- Followers
- 2
Chapters(0 total)
No chapters available yet.
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- OrthorosRoyal Road★★★★ 3.5I have been informed that this is the author's first story, and you can definitely see all the mistakes first-time authors make. Yet, through all of these issues, you can see a well-thought-out story shine through.
Style: Show, don't tell. A mantra that every author gets shoved down their throat when they start out. For some, it is harder to implement than others, but we all eventually learn. You can somewhat see that learning process take place over the chapters, but that doesn't change that the first few chapters are a real chore to get through.
You are subjected to the mother of all exposition as the author just dumps the entire history of the world on you over the span of one chapter. It feels like it gets better over the chapters, but then, in the most recent chapter, a new character gets introduced, and you're treated to yet another humongous dump of backstory.
This definitely needs fixing, and I implore the author to look back at their first chapters, and fix them as best as they can. The first few chapters are the most important ones to reel in new readers, and I'm afraid few will make it past this hurdle in order to see the goodness of what lies beyond.
Story: As far as the story goes, so far it is a fairly standard fantasy story. An isekai, as we call them today, to be exact. The world it takes place in clearly has received a lot of love and has a rich backstory to explore. The whole world seems believable and nothing seems to be contradicting each other.
Grammar: For the most part, the grammar seems to be correct. There are a few misspelled, or misplaced words here and there, but it's nothing I can't deal with. What is more jarring, is the way the sentences are structured sometimes. This is also an issue that plagues mostly the early chapters.
It is sometimes hard to discern who is talking since the proper punctuation is missing. The sentences have a bad flow, which makes it hard and tedious to read at points. Then again, sometimes they present too much i