Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Don't expect too much from this abomination.

As the name of this fiction suggests, the title I go by in heaven is the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus. I work as a life counselor for trash waifus in case you were slow and didn't catch on.

Please be advised, author takes no responsibility if someone decides to follow the shit-tier advice of the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus.

101 Consultations (UNCENSORED) available onAmazon.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2020
Author: Kira Minoru

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.1/ 5.0
Followers: 64
Views: 62,144

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(7)

Warix VivianaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Chapter 6:
Brief hilarity. So far, I have not reached the levels others have said. It's truly a bit funny, light dark humour, surrounding the dark hentai esk things. NTR, rape, self mutilitation, which all sound like serious words, but in context is like me going "oh yeah, I should totally do that! NTR sounds great!" Light hearted really.
Chapter 8:
Bwhahaha. Awful. But hilarious.
Chapter 9:
I've only even heard of something so horrid once before lol.
Chapter 10:
Must resist urge to comment on each of these but wow.
Chapter 12:
Why god, why. There's no way that was as off top as usual, author why did you research this. How disturbing ha lol.
Chapter 11 + 13:
Disgusting, ewww. Meta is so gross like this. Couldn't even finish the chapter.
Chapter 16:
As a reminder to all of you, this is still shitty advice. For too many reasons to explain.
Overall, this isn't that bad at all. It's some light dark humour. Decently funny. I approve.
Update, as of chapter 29. It gets worse. That's twice my blood has tried to curdle through words alone.
Chapter 60:
My mind, forcefully refuses to remember more than a few of these. I've gone numb to even some of the worst atrocities. Truly, the horror I've perceived can only be understood by an outside observer. Meta still sucks, the creepy ass art lady is hands down the worst and God is evil.
NetiZenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So I'm just going to start with a warning: this is a niche series of ultra dark humor compilations. And yeah, I mean those dark jokes you shared in (Whatever club/camp etc.) you had as a kid. Like how do you xxx a bunch of babies? Put them in a blender. How do you get xxx to xxx? Slice off xxx and xxx. Lots of murder/sex/derangement. If that 'ain't yo thang' then you should probably just not go there, or here. Now that the warning is done let's move on...
So the story is about a dead inside god giving terrible counseling ideas to wiafus and they do them then succeed. It's about it in a nutshell. The story is just a placeholder for the ultra dark bad jokes. There isn't, or hasn't as of the chap I'm on, been anything really in the way of story, which is fine since again, the story is a placeholder for the bad jokes. Aside from that, it is what it is and says on the can. If you like it, it's for you if not, you should probably just not go here. This is the kinda thing that you found in the really dark part of the web and you told your friend not to go there. They ignored you and went there, and told their friend not to go there... etc. Oh also it was recommended by a friend not to go there and read this story, so you should get on that... here's some other recommendations that you should go and defiantly not do... two girls....
reteikerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
...
......
Well then.
There are many words and techniques you can use to describe a story, There are general guidelines to follow, rules & etc. With effort you can even make a review as compelling as the story it's reviewing.
And I'm not going to bother with any of that.
Instead, have some choice quotes:
¨I’m just God. I can (must) answer any problem you have no matter what it may be. Now scram.”
“My problem is that he’s the type who will put on a super happy warm face if I stab him and kill him. I don’t want that at all! Why can’t he understand my feelings?”
“Hmm… then… if you really want to fuck an orphanage… I’d suggest first cutting off their food supply. They’d be pretty fucked if you do that. Once that has been accomplished, the next step would be to show up at their front door with hot dogs and ******** *** **** *****. Tell the orphans they can have your food, but they can only use their mouths and not hands. Repeat this process every day until the orphans are fully dependent on ****** you ***. Eventually, they will become your brainwashed little sex slaves who will do anything you ask of them as the snatch that feeds them.”
¨Your advice is… It's bloody brilliant.¨
I handed the apple over to her. Her cheeks flushed red the instant the apple landed in the palm of her hand. She became a disorderly mess. Her eyes were drowning in some sort of unusual pleasure.
“Can you please put your eyes back in?”
“It’s rather annoying being forced to represent myself with a gender, but it’s just that sort of story after all.” “Stop reading my mind.” “I’m not reading it, I’m the one writing it.”
“Perhaps you reached a point where you were no longer able to find enjoyment through other mediums. Stories told by others became boring, maybe predictable. Maybe you even got tired of reaching the end of a story wishing for more, but there was nothing left to quench your thirst. You wanted to experience your own world. A world for yourself where you could fit in. One where even if you
JazehiahRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
There are not enough warning tags on this site for this story. There are not enough warning tags on any site for this story. But, all the really messy stuff happens off-screen, so it somehow skirts the censor.
Anyway,
I do not like this "story." I do not like the main character. I do not like the patients. I do not recommend following any of the advice given to the patients. But, this piece is a work of satire. The suggestions and characters are so horrible, the story as a wraps around to become something good...ish.
Despite my revulsion, I must admit that the chapters have a slightly addictive quality to them. I feel compelled to continue reading out of a sense of morbid curiosity. I really don't want to hear how a character got themselves killed and resurrected so they could have more "holes" to use for... uh... we're not talking about that.
Somehow, the descriptions are just vague enough to give a clear picture, without actually describing what happened. I wish the author would use this talent on something less gruesome. It's unnerving. Maybe they already do, but I am not about to find out.
The chapters are mercifully short. Most of the chapters are stand-alone short stories, though there are some follow-up visits where past characters who followed the diety's advice describe how they followed it, and ask for something even more horrifying.
The grammar is good. The story is very original, and the characters are written pretty well. How on earth does the author even come up with these things? There are some truly depraved scenarios and even worse suggestions on how to make them "better."
So, as much as I dislike this "story," I am giving it four stars simply because it is original and well written. It takes a very special kind of talent to make me feel this level of revulsion. Well done.
Now, please excuse me, while I find a place to throw up.
Zenopath (AEV)Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
So ok, suppose you actively hated women. And you wanted to laugh at a terrible deity who both absolutely hates her job and the incredibly terrible women who visit her. The deity has no pattern recognition because she always says the most over the top evil solution she can think of, in what she thinks is sarcasm, and is always surprised that the horrible women she is giving advice to actually accept her sarcasm as brilliant advice. I stopped reading at chapter 3 because although I did have a guilty chuckle at the proposed and accepted solution, I decided that to continue reading would run the risk of mental scars.
So why did I give this review 4 stars? Well because it is actually fairly well written and possibly funny and it felt unfair to judge it harshly after reading 3 very short chapters. What I will say is if you read up to chapter 3 and decide to keep going just to see how deep this misogynist story goes, you are a braver man than me.
the_random_userRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Imagine a really sadistic hentia.
Then multiply the sadism by 1.5 and make the main character female.
Now then imagine writing down a brief summary of what happens during each episode.
Add comedy.
Release a summary a day.
Boom. You have this novel in a nutshell. Legitimately gives you a chuckle if you can handle it
VegetablesRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
The chapters themselves out what I read of them? I don't know if this is supposed to be some super dark humor or not, it comes across as some mindless thought thrown onto the page. The first thing that came to the author's mind. There is nothing clever or funny to be found.
If it has anything going for it it would be "how stupid can this get?"