[REDACTED]

Information

Status

Hiatus

Author

DeViGrazzi

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• EtherialEphemeralRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  Okay, first of all, though it's only at chap. 5 so it might be too early to say but, I can't seem to find the plot of the story...
  Next would be the it's going too fast. You time skipped 10 years, that's pretty long, and not that good of a choice, (at least not for me), then you also sped up the interaction between the two lovebirds(Which are hella cute if i may add). But as cute as they may have been,you could have shown us how they interacted and how they came to know that they liked each other (plus more like a rant but, Did the other girl already had feelings for our main character when they were about to mean spartos??? She kissed her, and they're 10 years old! if so what happened?! what scenarios and conversatioon madethem end up being a couple in chap. 5?... Okay rant done.) the story is going off faster than i'd like.
  SO basically, try to improve on the plot (Though it really may just be too early) and the timing and character development.
  All the bad things considered, Grammar is ecxellent, the writing style is also good, the protagonists character is unique, funny and engaging. That's about it.