Re:Veggie ;Living (Barely surviving) in another world as a plant (Beta)

Information

Status

Hiatus

Author

Pancake_lvl.1

Reviews

Community Reviews(3)

• GodAxeRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  The charecters development is kinda unrealistic, as well as the fact that I feel the AI should either have alot of personality (but for humor or advancing the story, not for nothing) or none. Don't really like how the AI is kinda half, making it seem like it's not sure of itself, which a system based on information and order shouldn't be.
  The Grammer, as said Multiple times, can use work. It's getting progressively better the farther I read, but I feel like you should stop and provide some time to your previous chapters to make them longer, more detailed, and feel a bit more realistic as to draw more readers in.
  The plot is a bit all over the place. First he *SPOILERS* stops a bug, then is taken by some high class people randomly (don't even know why they were even passing by it in the first place, if there are roads for it) even tho I'd guess it's be too small to be truly noticed, along with being attacked by bandits.... Then thrown in a hole for no real reason, even though it's a RARE PLANT.
  Honestly feel like the bandits had the best backstory and charecters so far. The girls were too.... Strange. The man was too arrogant and heartless to be someones, who is always with him, crush(he threw a hard to find present in a hole with a smile, becuz he didn't like how it looked/didnt care about it).
  And lastly, your style. You use way too much dots. I feel as they should be used for when someone is sad, despairing, acting sad, giving bad news, thinking really hard about something previously said, or something similar. You use it in nearly every paragraph. Takes away alot of the emotion and such, along with the charecters emotions being slightly irrational (going from happy he died, to mad he's being eaten, to happy he's found girls, to cheering on the bandits who ate him, to being pissed cuz a guy thought he was dead).
  I know this story is a work in progress, mines is too, but these are definitely some things you need to work on to try and get more readers and better sco
• ThaliakRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  For me your story is already better than a lot of works on this site and other sites that i frequent, however there is obviously room for improvement.
  When it comes to writing a story like this you should definitely be aiming for quality before anything else, the readers ability to understand the story is crucial and should not be disregarded. If you are writing on your phone as i think you previously stated then getting someone to proofread for you on a pc will be a large help int his regard, i would be willing to do this if you contact me!
  Moving on from the negatives, from the first 5 chapters i can see that you have a great grasp of who your characters are and where the story is heading. Keep this up, if you lose focus of the core material the quality will suffer.
  Just in summary you are on the right track for creating a great story, you just need a little push to help you on your way.
• Anime-SenseiRoyal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  I skimmed the first five chapters, and have already come across several issues. I read somewhere that you write the chapters on your phone, but that is not an excuse to center your chapter which is a huge turn off for reading the story.
  Next, I would like for you to take note on how bad it looks for the chapter titles to be so random. Punctually they are messed up and even the dashes are gone or not spaced properly.
  Finally get a proofreader, your story really needs it horribly. If you don't spend the time necessary yourself in order to make the story as good as it can be why should people spend time reading it.
  Try to improve, and if you can utilize a computer to write any following chapters surpassing the date that this review was written up. Just to sum it up...
  Check your spelling.
  Check your punctuation.
  Write chapters on a computer to reduce mistakes (If you can access one.)
  Check your grammar.
  Use grammarly or some other kind of free grammar software after an intentional grammar check.
  Proofread your chapters thouroughly before releasing them.
  Do not center your text.
  Change the way the blue screens are presented.
  Do not use emojis during actions.
  Italicise actions.
  Good luck going forward! Do not get discouraged, spend enough time at improving and if I check out this story at a much later date I may change my scores, like others may change their mind.