Ravenswood [A Transmigration Medieval High-Fantasy]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A KING WAS ONE OF THE THINGS JON NEVER EXPECTED TO BECOME.After his sudden death, Jon finds himself in the body of Prince Zephyr, who had been murdered on the day he was to be crowned king of Ravenwing. Now, Jon is stuck with the ruling of a kingdom, and on top of that, a murderer on the loose! Determined not to lose his second chance at life, he decides to track down the murderer before they can get to him, but will he succeed and survive, or will the political decisions he has to make as a king, along with the constant threats and conspiracies brewing within the castle for the throne, rid him of the peace he was hoping to find in this world? And to top it all off… there’s a voice in his head.

What to expect:

Character progression/growth but slow burn

Court/political feuds

World building

Different character goals

Multiple lead characters/POV

UPDATES 3 TIMES A WEEK ON MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS AND FRIDAYS.

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2023
Author: Five6212

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.0/ 5.0
Followers: 112
Views: 66,353

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

ChaotickeagleRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The blue hair is a favorite and the isekai element of course, and even though the chapters are a bit short, it makes sense considering the posting schedule. The mystery surrounding the deaths of the king and guards with the different perspectives being explored gives it a nice touch of who killed the butler – it's like a Game of Thrones vibe with the intriguing. Looking forward to more!
DabossUnberogenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is not what you would usually see on this site, but it was quite good nonetheless. Sometimes it's nice to catch a break from the endless progression fantasies.
The style was decent, definitely above average, but perhaps a little odd at times, especially with some of the dialogue. I know that the author was going for the authentic medieval vibe with the dialogue, but sometimes it sounded just a little bit stilted. However, it did not really have an impact on the enjoyment of reading the story.
The story was great, and very well constructed. I liked the way that the author took inspiration from Game of Thrones and other such stories, and turned into something of their own. At some times, it was abundantly clear that it was inspired by GOT, for example the fact that sir was spelt ser, but that did not detract from the fiction.
The grammar was well done, with few errors, and no moments in which it was hard to read.
Finally, one of the most important aspects of this story, the characters. As a story that switches between perspectives, character development is very important. This was done well, but, it could seem a little bit scattered at times.
All in all, it is an interesting read, and definitely worth checking out.
ChiruschkaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So, before I write the review, I want to disclaim something: I will take novels as they are and not hold them to an absurd standard.
I sometimes read that there are 5 Stars novels, but compared to what? Dickinson and his Christmas story? Not really.
Depending on who the author is, I will review it accordingly. In this case, the author is amateurish and seemingly writes as a hobby, so I decided on 5/5 in all categories.
He tries hard with his story, and it works well sometimes, sometimes not so much, but to a degree where it is fully well formed and very fitting with the tags.
I ignore grammar and Style since I am able to read it and follow the story pretty well. Honestly, I don't understand anyone rating it lower than 4/5. So, for me, it would be a 4.85/5 -> 5/5
Characters are explored through a lot of dialogue and implicity. So, if you want to get a full characterization from the beginning, you will not. It is slowly done, and I quite like it. 4.75/5 -> 5/5
The story is 5/5 because it is consistent and stuff, but I, as a fan of the Kingdom Building genre, screamed at the chapter with the council to be much more explicit. The whole premise, MC, and so on are screaming kingdom building, but there is none. It is, for me, really confusing sometimes. However, as long as the tag is not there, all is fine, and it is just me.
Now let me nitpick a bit with some little things I can't stand in the novel but can't bring into the review.
Names: The Names are terrible. I quote the first chapter a sentence I found hilarious:
"I do not care. I am Ser Everard Whitehome of Winterstone, member of the Winterguards…"
Please don't do this. It is the same as using less distinguishable names (White/Winter) or phonetically similar (W sound).
Even though it changes later on, the names are really hard to remember, even though the characters themselves are interesting.
mOrphiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Reviewed at chapter "Little Flower"
The author borrows unashamedly from Game of Thrones. The premise is reminiscent of someone isekai'd into joffrey's body at the purple wedding. There is great court intrigue as the MC and reader try to figure out who committed the murder, how and why.
Pros -
Strong side character writing in a multi POV style that is pulled off well.
Interesting build up of court intrigue and politics.
Interesting setting similar to Winterfell in my mind. Will be interesting to see how much more of the world of Westeros shows up. Really hope to see this kingdom building potential fleshed out more. It seems to be in the background at this point in the story.
Cons -
Grammar can be tough at the start. Improves greatly as the story continues, will be fine after a round of editing.
Conversations can seem a little short and stilted. Assuming this improves after a round of editing as well. The MC often interjects his thoughts into conversations which can make the flow seem clunky.
Names can be alliterative at times, not necessarily a con just something that sticks our in a jarring way.
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Will continue reading and following along to see how this story progresses. With the world building already involved and characters introduced I can see this story having good staying power. For any fans of GoT and isekai I can reccomend this as a good read.
EleshisRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
OVERALL: I can tell the author has big plans, but the execution so far is a little clunky.
STYLE: The prose on display here is functional, but clunky. Its things like funky sentence structure and scarce descriptions. The story is told in third person with frequent interjections by our main character, Jon, in the form of italicized thoughts. Jon's thoughts often take a back seat to the action at hand though, which leads me to believe a first-person style may have been a better fit. Otherwise writing is competant but unpolished.
STORY: A guy named Jon dies in some kind of sizzling pit and wakes up in the body of a recently-poisoned king-to-be named Zephyr. He has to acclimate to his new life, navigate Zephyr's difficult situation, and also manage a country as an ignorant ruler. There's a lot of wheels turning at a given time, and the narrative gives each some time to spin, but its one of those stories meant to be told over a long period of time. As a result the currently available chapters don't have a chance to get into the meat of things. I think it'll be a good one once things get rolling though.
GRAMMAR: Like I said before there's some real funky sentences in here. Clauses tacked-on to each other willy nilly are the main issue. Its the kind of stuff that you'll notice, but not something that'll make you take pause.
CHARACTER: Jon, the main character, is a little bland. I'd attribute most of that to his bewilderment at his situation though. Would you be able to get your bearings if you suddenly woke up in someone else's body and got told you were king? Outside of Jon we have a cast of his new relatives, subbordinates, and his new best friend Flynn Claymore. Of the other cast members, Flynn and Damon (one of Jon's new siblings) stand out the most. Flynn because of his suspiciously courteous acquiescence, and Damon because he's just an unapologetic jerk. I'd like to see where these character's futures take them.
TheGreatGazpachoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
[Review Swap]
Style: I didn't come across any stylistic decisions that took me out of the narrative. I didn't mind the occasional shifts in perspective as we spent enough time within that person's mind to get a strong feel of the scene. It was a straightforward and smooth read.
Grammar: I found no problems when it came to grammatical issues.
Story: There's an interesting amount of intrigue in the mystery that the narrative presents, and Jon/Zephyr wastes no time delving into this mystery. We have our slain prince and a sizeable number of suspects that the story can go through. There are similar story beats to A Song of Ice and Fire, but the author is aware of those connections, and I'm confident that the author will explore these ideas and take them in different directions. I am interested to know how the prologue folds back into the main story as a whole.
Character: Some of the mystery's initial suspects seem a little underdeveloped, but additional chapters can easily remedy that. The larger concern I had was all the characters introduced within the first seven chapters; it's easy for a reader to mix up these individuals if not enough time is given to flesh out all their characters.
VioletMoonRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Overall, it is a fairly engaging read, with vivid language and creative expressions. The plot is interesting, and the MC reactions to his situation feel fairly natural and realistic, which can be difficult to do.
Style: I gave style a 4/5 because I felt like although the language as vivid and creative, the grammatical issues detracted significantly from the experience as a reader. The writing could benefit from having an editor give a critical eye to the sentences to better organize them to improve the style.
Grammar: 3/5. There aren't a lot of spelling errors or anything like that, it's more that the author has frequent run on sentences strung together by an ever increasing number of commas. The writing is all good, if you can look past the grammar. Just needs some TLC and it would really improve the overall quality of the work.
Story: 4/5. It was engaging, but still felt fairly generic. If you're going to use a relatively common plotline, be aware of losing reader's interest. Give me something different or unique to make your story stand out and keep me engaged. A King being poisoned and having to survive a treacherous court isn't exactly a fantastically new concept. Either way, it is done well, so it earned a decent score. Tropes are tropes for a reason, people love them!
Character: 3.5/5. The characters (besides the MC) don't feel very complex. They feel like one dimensional caricatures of archetypes that most readers know fairly well. There's nothing wrong with it, per se, but it would definitely help to make things a bit more distinctive to stand out. Also, definitely reuses quite a few names from GOT in far too obvious ways. Easy change!
With some grammar work and a few name shifts, this work has a lot of potential and I'm excited to see how it develops!
HippioScipioRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The story is well written with the opening drama being crafted well and the author thereby does a good job engaging the reader.
The developing political situation the MC finds himself in is quite interesting, though the expository dialogue is a bit inhuman sounding - but not enough for it to be too jarring and ruin my enjoyment.
Typically in these kinds of stories, the reincarnated person is reborn into a family of nobility, but not royalty, and so there is much new stuff that this fiction can explore plot-wise with its King MC from the start.
So, overall, it's good.
The Cosmic Thieves GuildRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The story premise is a fun one, being dumped into a recently murdered body of princes is a fascinating start to an intrigue-based plot, one full of schemes and assassinations. It gives off similar vibes of GoT but with a bit of isekai thrown in the mix to spice things up.
Style: the story is mainly told through dialog, which can be a bit clunky at times. I can tell the author is trying for a more sophisticated type of feel for the characters, and a bit old-timey, but the execution is a bit off. Could use a bit more description and nondialog ways to move the plot forwards.
Story: from the bit I have read, it seems to be a great plot, with a lot of room to expand into. There are already conspiracies and drama happening with the MC's family and having been poisoned right at the start. Shows a lot of promise to be a great intrigue.
Grammar: there weren't any overt mistakes or errors that distracted me from the story, though I would always take my grammar critiques with a grain of salt, as I am bad myself. though.
Characters: there is a large cast of characters, and each of them felt well-fleshed out and vibrant. You could tell they all had their individual wants and desires and weren't just there for the background.
Over all, the story shows great promise, if a bit clunky at times.
A. StargazerRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The prologue is great. Had me hooked and excited for the story.
Then chapter 1 tripped and fell flat on its face and broke its nose. The next few chapters weren't better, but I skipped ahead a few and noticed significant improvement in the writer's ability.
I think that they're a first time writer that's finding their voice, and I encourage them to continue. And to revise the first few chapters sooner rather than later.
Story wise, the author states they are heavily influenced by GoT, and it definitely shows. They're not GRRM, but if this was based in westeros instead of an original world it wouldn't seem out of place.
Style wise I'm averaging out. 3 at the start of the story and 4 towards the end. I encourage the author to keep writing and finding their voice. And while it's good to have influences, I also encourage the author to find their voice, and not just learn to mimic the voice and style of others.
Story wise, it sounds interesting. Skipping around as I did, I still got a general sense of what happens, and basically, if you're familiar with the author's influences, then you won't be too surprised.
The grammar was fine. full marks.
The characters were ... well, like everything they got better as you go. But honestly, I found the side character POVs more interesting than the MC.