Prototype for another world

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2016

Author

jontel

• Chapter 4
  Jun 16, 2016
• Chapter 3
  Jun 15, 2016
• Chapter 2
  Jun 15, 2016
• Question
  Jun 12, 2016
• Chapter 1
  Jun 4, 2016
• Prologue first
  Jun 4, 2016

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• YewenRoyal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  “Prototype for another world” is a story about a reincarnated science experiment that has lost his humanity and his quest for becoming god of his new species. Sounds awesome right? Well, prepare to be disappointed.
  Style
  The writing style is very lackluster and practicly unreadable at times. Sometimes paragraphs will be one thing, sometimes paragraphs will be inserted randomly and the sentence would be not understood. The paragraphs feel entirely random and break the flow of the story, reducing sentence fluency, and making reading this story quite hard for even beginning readers. It would be an example of what not to do with paragraphs. It’s that bad.
  Story
  Interesting concept, but again it loses points for nog being that discriptive. It doesn’t tell you the world and major locations. I would appreciate it if it could be spiced up a bit. The atmosphere of the story feels very linear and at times non exsistent. As I said before, it has a good concept but it lacks in execution. It feels devoid of life and is just boring to read because it falls into the same pattern as most OPmcs are. This story follows the many tropes that cookie cutter stories follow as well. An op mc, snotty nobles, a companion/haram members, and becomming a god/dess. It had a good start, but it quickly became like the rest of the other stories. It’s just not that special.
  Grammar
  Please reread what you write, I felt like I was reading a child’s diary where their entire vocabulary consists of about a hundred misplaced words. The spelling was terrible. I assumed you were having a seizure while writing this. It is truly awful and needs to be proofread. If you are going to put up a story, at try to make as little gramatical mistakes as you can, it ruins the story flow, it ruins the sentence structure, and it frustrates the reader to no end. I will offer myself as your proof reader because I think you could do better if you just had someone be your adviser, but nevertheless please reread and think to y