Problems in the Desolation [Mutants Action/Adventure/Slice of Life]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Following a strange call coming from the region known as Desolation, Iterna sends a team to find out its source. Ratcatcher and Augustus Rho, two explorators from Iterna, were tasked with ensuring the safety of specialists and escorting them to the source of this disturbance. However, their mission goes awry when the elder of the Bento Tribe and the monstrous Mother, the ruler of the Desolation, both end up chasing after them.Can the team reach its goal safely, and will they ever get answers to just who exactly they are escorting and why?

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Rookie12

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.8/ 5.0
Followers: 42
Views: 60,184

Chapters(123 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

kanundraRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Opening.
This is one of the stronger stories here on RR in terms of scope. Holy heck. The world building and characters *though swaps pov* is extremely well woven and though not easy to follow doesn't hold you back at all from digging in.
It hooks you straight away at the wall where there’s an intense battle going on. Then with some excellent pov swaps the world around all of them starts to come together. It is not hard to follow each character, their species, the way the world works. It’s clearly established and fleshed out in the authors mind with great detail when needed without it being over the top.
Story.
Just fascinating. There’s action and character building at a pace we can take both with ease. I’m really excited to see more of how it all comes together.
Style.
The style in general is mixed pov which a lot of people sometimes don’t take too well at. But I love massive worlds and different sides to how it all comes together, and this is a perfect balance of managing that and how they start to edge in towards each other. It's a read you need to be careful with, its dense with its detail and characters. So is a lot to track around. The battles are given amazing detail so the author’s a lot of experience with reading this style of genre itself, and maybe just put a ton of research into how things at this level would be.
Grammar.
I can’t comment totally on all of it, but there’s just a little transition between native speaking here and there, and I do always look to see if there’s a location where the authors from  and have seen a few comments from them. The little nuances don’t at all take away from the story and in some senses the author’s got a better grasp than me. Shame on me. But I helped point out a few things, and will carry on where I can, when I get to come back. It really just needs a good line read off someone to make sure it all flows and there’s not a missing work or odd word here or there.
Characters.
So… there’s a lot of characters and it grows
A. StargazerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I may update this review at some point as I come back to read more, but I wanted to leave a preliminary review based on what I have read so far.
As noted, the prologue is amazing. To the point where I believe the author should treat it as a story by itself. I find it strange having a prologue that's 20 chapters long, and question why the story doesn't either start with Ratcatcher's story, or whether the prologue and the 'main story' are two separate stories that deserve to be out on their own.
Rookie12 is an amazing writer, with awesome worldbuilding skills and an amazing concept for their post-apocalyptic mythos.
Ace-omiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I would say that the story has a somewhat creative plot with a unique setting, however, the grammar could use some improvement. There are some not so good phrasing and sentences that could use some refinement. Additionally, the writing style is a bit choppy and could benefit from a smoother flow and better transitions. The dialogue feels a bit forced at times. Overall, with some attention to these areas, the story has potential to become a strong and engaging piece of fiction.
This review mainly focus on the grammar and style, as I have yet to read further into the story.
BalerikRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Problems in the Desolation by Rookie12 is a fast-paced thrill ride that delivers high octane fun delivered directly to a captive audience. If you're a fan of edge-of-your-seat action and mind-boggling sci-fi tech, then this is the story for you.
Style - Rookie12's narrative voice lands somewhere between a fever dream and a punch to the face. Every time you think you have it all figured out, he comes in with another haymaker that sends your jaw to the floor yet again. He accomplishes this through a combination of unrelenting action and vivid detail that feels like trying to catch a cruise missile with your teeth.
Character - The ensemble cast of characters that populate this roller coaster all possess their own quirks and idiosyncracies that cross the entire gamut of human, and alien, personalitiy types. We have everything from alien overlords like the Changed named Kriegshaw to flamboyant warriors like Eloxotla. We have gambling addicts like Ontrel Graves and dutiful protectors like the dependable Ratcatcher. We even have AIs like the aptly named Artificer. All these and so much more and each one has their own voice, their own ticks, and their own motivations.
Grammar - There was nothing that negatively affected the story's readability.
Story - Problems in the Desolation is like a cotton candy machine. The further you dig into it, the more strands of sugary goodness you collect. In a series of loosely associated short stories, Rookie12 pieces together a lush, post-modern environment with a complex lattice of politics and cultures. Each chapter brings new perspectives and fresh view points to further expand the intriguing setting that's being patiently built, chapter after chapter, brick by brick.
Overall - Problems in the Desolation grabs hold of the audience and straps them onto a gurney. Once Rookie12 starts the IV drip of chaos pumping straight into your veins, the last thing you'll want to do is wake up from this shared fever dream.
fantasyretreatRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
When I first picked up this story the first thing that went through my mind was, "wtf!"
It's completely action-packed, and the descriptions come to life with the scenes. It's raw and unrefined - a chaos of characters coming together to make a fun read.
The Story. No spoilers, but the story is basically about a group of races wanting to rebuild a damaged world the way they see fit (I'm reviewing the story at chapter 9).
The Characters. These are the joys of the story. The author does a great job of portraying a wide array of characters, ranging from mutants to humans, many of which have body parts that are designed for combat. Reading their description alone gives you the weight of their character, you discover much of what they've been through (and some have to hell and back).
The Style. Action, more action. There is a synergy that the author has created that works pretty well as we jump from one POV to another. Even in the riot that makes up the story.
The Grammar. It takes a good English speaker to get 5 stars in this. But the author did a nice job, him not being from an English-speaking nation and such. With some proofreading, he'd get things straightened out.
Feedback. Now here comes my gripe with the story and what I think can be done to improve it:
The introduction of the characters and races from the beginning was perhaps done in haste as if there was a previous story before this and the readers are expected to know it.
I'd say to do a proper introduction by crafting a prologue. Bam! Done.
Next are the paragraphs which are a bit too long from the start. The author only needs to split them up at the right places (It must be the right places, or the readers get confused).
The exposition. There is a lot of exposition that can be turned into dialogue and scenes, such as the character's backstory. This is a gold mine for any writer, but I find the author just dishes it out after a bit of introduction, which takes away from the mystery.
The mystery is part of the s
jaxobelRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The title of the review may be misleading but I thought it was perfect, this comment is based on the 10 arduously long chapters of the Prologue and the first chapter.
Style: Overall the style from what I managed to understand is set to a first-person narrative centered toward our bubbly protagonist. The author has a great understanding of this writing style, limited only by grammar not by mastery.
Grammar: The author has stated that he is a non-native speaker therefore the fact that he has managed to consistently release within a short period of more than 40 chapters. All with what I believe to be non-important errors or mistakes that could happen with regular book printing. Therefore the score is solidly at four as it would likely be higher if he slowed down while proofreading chapters yet I don't blame them for writing 40+ chapters, kudos to them.
Story: There's very little to say aside from that this person is most certainly got a potential high seller if they were to continue or expand. We're thinking, Fallout meets Destiny and Warhammer. At least those are my exaggerated thoughts of course. It's certainly a well-thought-out world with plenty of exploration left for me, now that I finally got past the prologue.
Characters: The characters are on point but I feel their lack of interaction with their world makes them a bit like NPCs during the normal moments outside of the fighting however, in spite of that when they do jump into the fighting or explorative manners however we're striking gold here.
Overall: I still rate it a 5 overall due to enjoyment and because I can see myself finishing this. Good job, Mr. ultimate rookie with over 1.5mill words
A V DalcourtRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The first two chapters are action packed to the hilt! The execution brought to mind the high-octane vibe of Mad Max, but with a mix of macabre body horror and I want to say... Dragon Age (those plague monster thingies).
As the story progresses we're brought to focus on RatCatcher a skilled elite mutant soldier that's customarily sent on retrieval missions across the various nations. Upon her return to from one such mission we dive deeper into her story and the terrorist actions that lead to a devestating event some months prior. By chapter 6, she has her eyes set on her next mission.
The overall feel of the story reminds me of Chronicles of Riddick, where the world slowly builds off of several POVs, and as we explore each culture the author weaves a vibrant and rich post-appocalyptic world. There various cultures are so well thought out I can see not only the characters, but the scenes, and the world itself as I'm reading through the story.
The writer has an amazing grasp of language that's a rare find on RR.
I'm thrilled to follow this author and their stories because I know it's going to be one hell of a ride!
HirambeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
As I find myself reading multiple fictions at the time, I will leave my review at the 10-part prologue and the first chapter. I must say that was one hell of a ride.
What an intense introduction, promising, nevertheless. It hooks the reader with action at first glance and then introduces the world in a spectacular way. I will certainly come back to read more and honestly go through other rookie’s fictions.
I highly recommended this fiction and will be adding it to my top 3 picks of this month in my signature.
Style & Story: I'll summarize both scores in a metaphor. Rookie's style is like fishing. He throws the bait, and when you think you're understanding the situation he reels you in until he gets you out of the water, slaps you in the face a few times then gently releases you.
Grammar: Didn't find any grammatical errors, just minor details of structuring situations in the first two parts of the prologue.
Character: I had trouble remembering who's who in the first three parts of the prologue, a lot of names were thrown at the reader without any context, would've liked clarity since the start. Other than that, after you grasp context, it runs smoothly. All characters mentioned have well-crafted personalities individually.
K.A.ORoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall this is a thrilling novel that grips your attention and holds it in a headlock. It flows quite nicely from chapter to chapter and keeps you guessing the whole time. All in all I would highly reccomend this to anyone who is a fan of scifi. It's a must read.
Story - This story is a non-stop action-packed riot that takes the reader on a journey through an intense battlefield. The jumping points of view add to the pace and energy of the story and create excitement as the different characters intersect. The world-building is intricate and each chapter brings new perspectives and fresh viewpoints that add to the complex lattice of politics and cultures.
Style - The author's descriptive narrative voice creates an intense experience for the reader. The vividly rendered action scenes and attention to detail make the reader feel like they are on the battlefield. The story maintains a fast pace and the author uses language that feels like a punch to the face, keeping the reader engaged and excited.
Character - The characters in this story are unique and interesting, each possessing their own quirks and personalities. The different species are effectively outlined and add culture shock to the reader, but are well developed and never feel clunky. The Ratcatcher is a standout character, but all the figures who are introduced carry interest in them.
Grammar - There are a few inconsistencies in the grammar, but they do not detract from the overall enjoyment of the story and can be easily fixed with proofreading.
Luca DRRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Five stars on all points. A lesser man could say that it's me doing this because it's a review swap. But no, it's not. This is me being honest. This novel is lit as heck, it's well written, has almost no grammar mistakes and the only ones I saw were typos, has great characters and a very interesting premise and plot.
We start our adventure at the Wall, where a horde of... things is attacking. The battle is looking dire, but as we come to learn a bit more of this very-post-apocalypse world, we learn of the existence of a faction. Full of tech. To the brim. And thus, the tides of the battle are changed, and we are introduced to the first in a long series of characters for our cast. Intricate, well-written people there, surrounded by fancy tech that never bores in its details, with a hint of religion and mysticism. Very well done.
All this tying into a grander lore. From the 2nd chapter we already see hints to this, and the more we read the more we see. The world is vast and huge. This feeling is not accomplished by the author telling us that it is, but by the sheer scale and multitude of what is described.
Removing myself from the meta narrative for a moment, we have to admit that at the very least the author did a monumental job crafting the world and the people in it. The tech. The culture. The religions.
In my opinion the writing style, like a great icing on a good cake, is the catalyst that makes this novel shine. It is the reason I keep reading, and its evocativeness is why I feel like the world is so real and tangible. A lesser author would have squandered the premise, no offense to them, but Rookie is no fucking rookie and pulls this off with precision and efficacy worthy of the superb tech of the sun-guys-something (I'm bad at names)