Parallel Timeline: Time Loop Rebel

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Gaus finds himself in a world trapped in a time loop. His wristwatch allows him to remember what happens in the loop and also retain his skills. Arriving at Loopers Academy, the only magic school that teaches people how to become loopers, Gaus finds himself torn between a powerful necromancer who wants to use his power to stay in the loop, a second time loop, and human clones.

Do you think being trapped in one time loop is bad? Well, try being trapped in two.

***

This is a rewrite of my original novel of the same name.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Wilberforce

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 245
Views: 88,609

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

AcusiontRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Parallel Timeline: Time Loop Rebel is about a guy stuck in time loops. While a basic premise, the story is anything but, and I had a difficult time finding anything critical to say about it.
Story:
Overall, it can get a little confusing due to the nature of time that we’re familiar with. It keeps moving forward, and if you don’t pay attention, it’ll pass you by. Not so much here. I think the author’s choice of starting in the middle of the MC’s time loops, rather than the start, is a bold, but interesting, choice. Bold, because it can be confusing for the reader at first to get up to speed. However, after a chapter or two, I felt like I had a pretty solid grasp on what was going on, timeline-wise.
It will be interesting to see how big of a role (beyond being something of a game mechanic) time becomes as the story progresses.
Style:
I will say that the style of the story for the most part was good. The author’s word choice was good. The story continuously moving forward, even during parts with lots of dialogue. It balanced internal narration with exposition well, and I never felt like I was forcing myself to continue reading; instead, I wanted to continue reading. There were no words that were really overused, at least none that stuck out as I was reading, which is a good thing.
The biggest thing I will say is that a couple times, the POV switched midchapter. Generally, I’m not a big fan of that just because it can be slightly jarring, and it was no exception here. It only happened twice so far in the five chapters that I read as of this review, so I don’t know if that continues. It wasn’t a huge issue, but it did make me slow down a little just to make sure I was following it (It is marked when the POV changes, which helps; I just wasn’t expecting it at first and didn’t realize that’s what it was for).
There are also some things that are given to the reader that aren’t explained, but they aren’t lingered on long enough for much confusion to arise (for instance, the
BullerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
And at this point, I am too scared to actually ask. Just... what the ever-living hecking tap-dancing, frick-fracking plot is this? And, much more importantly, why hasn't anybody done this before? Erased after so little time, just what the heck is that supposed to be.
Anyway, This is meant to be an actual review, and I'll do my best fulfilling that requirement now.
Style:
Style is without question the easiest thing to talk about here. Wouldnt even need more than six words, actually. It is pretty much standard stuff. Through the power of actually understanding why pacing is important, knowing the mystic arts of editng after writing, and the ritual of checking through sentence structures, the author has successfully written something that an English teacher would be happy about. Those curtains are bright pink and the rating is 5/5 for this one.
Story:
Here's where it gets a tad harder to talk about. This is a time-loop story. That much was obvious early on during the whole talk about it. However... what the final goal, how the MC thinks he is gonna get here, and where that 'there' actually is located is still within the unknown. Or maybe I'm just a bit dummy that doesn't understand subtext. Whatever. It just seems like there's some context at times that I'm supposed to have already read previously. Maybe the author didn't put in some details intentionally? I'll leave that point up for discussion. 4.5/5 because my pride has been wounded s/
Grammar:
Grammar is without question a strong part of this story. As I mentioned during the style score, the author actually knows how to open a dictionary every few weeks. With the help of that hefty book, they have successfully stopped obvious grammar mistakes. 5/5 for that.
Characthers:
Okay... this one is still hard for me. When I heard Gaus, I couldn't help but that of the guy from Merlin, which has utterly ruined my mental image of the guy. I really don't think he looks like a limping seventy years old, but that's how I persona
Entitled InfracaninophileRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Gosh! This story is fantastic! A totally different take on time loops, its complexity up to 11, a thriller like mistery story, with loops within loops, and a whole bunch of competing loopers, competing groups of people in the know, and one special watch that changes everything...
Do yourself a favor and read it, you'll enjoy it! It's an absolute recommendation.
MorhRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Why isn't this on the frontpage ? This is Mother of Learning v2.
It's challenging to make a top notch time loop story when the n°1 story on the website is a damn good one. And Parallel Timeline succeeded.
The story is simple: there is a 24h timeloop that has been running for several decades, but it is managed by a few hundred loopers who serve the mysterious Master who can invite a limited number of temporary loopers at the same time. Temporary loopers compete to prove themselves good enough for the Master to keep them in the loop. The main character is an independant looper who needs to navigate the different factions to avoid being killed for representing a threat to those who rule the loop.
While there are many similarities with Mother of Learning, the author managed to invent several new concepts that make the story feel fresh.
The story only slowly reveals the explanations of why the loop exists and what the top ranking loopers are trying to achieve while everything seems under control and nothing is happening (before the MC appears).
Most loop stories are either about a world in which 2-3 people can time travel or millions of people. What makes this story compelling is the desperation of the very privileged temporary loopers who are at the same time at the top of the food chain as they do pretty much whatever they want to the normal people without any restriction except "don't soul-kill random people" but while they have nearly unlimited power to lord over the masses, they remain servile and always living under the desperation of not being good enough for the Master to renew their temporary contract.
SoftRainRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The main character, Gaus, gets roped into a sort of illegal-ish pyramid scheme time loop cult where one day repeats itself over and over so people can grind their skills. Except Gaus is already looping while outside of the Loopers Academy, something unheard of. So for now he's figuring things out, taking advantage of the academy to learn skills without them finding out he can loop outside.
The story can be a bit confusing at the beginning, but reading more gives you more information so you can piece together how things work. It can feel a bit awkward at times because the main character knows more than we do (at least for now), which is different from most LitRPGs, since he's spent time learning and investigating stuff before the story starts. But he doesn't know everything so it's a fun balance between learning with the character and learning about him.
The grammar is really good. It's not perfect, as some sentences can read a bit weird, but even these are readable (and I'm rather picky with grammar).
There's not a lot of chapters so far, so that's mostly it. I'm looking forward to reading more!
eric_riverRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I've never read a book like this, it's pretty much unique
it has an interesting system if that’s what you seek
the premise is based on a time loop and a mystery
though the plots a little fuzzy, it seems fun to me
Here’s an update for potential readers on their way
an overview was added to this fiction page today
if you get lost in the plot but still think that it’s fun
read the ‘review’ posted before chapter fifty-one
The style is quite mysterious, and moves along quite fast
if you like a puzzle then this tale should be a blast
the grammar needs some work but doesn't distract from the plot
the personalities of characters shine through a lot
The story is the thing that pulls this whole thing together
the premise might sound simple but it is a head scratcher
as the mystery unwinds, the world opens up too
the story and premise alone will probably hook you
It’s like a clever combination of a few cool plots
Groundhog day with dungeon crawling, and some fun robots
it’s like a buffet of sci-fi fantasy cliches
but it innovates on them on quite creative ways
It isn’t perfect, but it is a hidden, uncut gem
the characters grow deeper the more you get to know them
I rate this high for its potential, it could go quite far
one day I am sure that it will earn that final star
yellingbrian2Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
This is not a review. A LOT of audience members have been asking the Author for a lore dump to explain what's going. I've decided to make one myself!
This has been updated as of September 24th 2021.
*********WARNING HEAVY STORY SPOILERS BELOW!!!*********
***The Multiverse***
Due to Time Travel shenanigans that happened +500 years ago multiple timelines are connected in trade and ruled by a centralized Government.
"The First World" is the world where everyone came from and the people living there own most of all the resources. They also regularly take slaves from the "lower worlds".
You don't think about this too much: It's functionally identical to a Space Age civilization where the "Home World" People are being Imperialist A-holes.
***The First Level Time Loop***
Duration: 24 hours (Tuesday 3am to Wednesday 3am)
Factions within this Loop:
The Loopers Academy: (Often Called LA) The faction of Loopers ruled by "The Master"
The Marines: Faction of "Imposter" Loopers made up of Military People
Minorita's Faction: A group of FORMER time loopers that was killed by the other 2 groups.
Gaus: The Main Character
Tyren: Guy previously working for LA. The main enemy of Gaus.
This loop has been going on for 50-40 years, it was first started by "The Master" (as far as anyone can tell)
***The Second Level Time Loop***
Duration: 7 loop days
Factions within this Loop:
Gaus: The Main Character
Tyren: Guy previously working for LA. The main enemy of Gaus.
This loop has been going on for 6 weeks, it was first started when Tyren tried to bind his soul to Gaus in order to stay alive, which caused Gaus's "Primary Skill" [Rewind] to glitch out and thus create the 2nd level loop.
The 2nd layer loop doesn't rewind time before Tuesday 3am, but rather rewinds the already looped time of the first level time loop.
To understand how this works:
Imagine a Whole City was experiencing Groundhogs Day from their perspective everyone else in the world is repeating everything over and over again withou
world_wandererRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I will start with the gramar. It's good. Author made a huge job in editing and polishing this part. Everything was clear. Except for few irrelevent mistakes, I never got distracted.
Story - this is about the boy named Gaus who gets into the time loop. I guess just that fact alone should make it clear what to expect from the story. I am not a fan of this genre, so it was a bit hard for me to read. For me there isn't enough conflict in such stories because I think immortality affects everything what hero puts on stakes of fate. That's why I took away some score.
Style - this part is mostly good. Everything is clear, but I suggest author to revise his early chapters because it can be confusing there. I guess it's a problem of the style than a story there.
Characters - in short they are good. MC is likable and author made a good job in showing other characters' personalities in their dialogues. They are not part of exposition, but real people. But, there is always a path for perfection.
Overall, 4/5. Even though I am not a fan of time loop stories, it was interesting to read.
xXSB101XxRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Grammar has very few if any mistakes that I can recall. Mainly weird sentence structures if I recall.
Characters are good, they feel realistic, or at least the ones that are focused on. Only issue I've seen is the complete lack of descriptions about the looks of most of the characters, MC included. Besides the characters don't feel like generic tropes which is a plus.
Style is good, enjoyed the flow of the writing and didnt have any issues besides the weird flashback thing that was the prologue. Noticed that the author changed some flashbacks, which was for the better.
Story is about Gaus who has a magiwatch with time looping capabilites, while the world is already in a time loop of its own with other various factions involved that start being explored in the most current chapters. Story could use some more focus on the world lore but it looks like it's getting there so I don't have any issues with it, and the updates are quick enough to not have me starved just waiting for it to be explained.
Overall, give this one a glance for the first 30-40 chapters to get a good grasp of whether you like it or not. If you don't like it then, then you probably wont like the rest.
Cherry_ValeRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
This story honestly seems like it might just be a rip off of Mother of Learning. It started off ok, but it just repeats elements from MoL so often in very similar circumstances. It's not an awful story, but I cant really say anything great about it either. It definitely has a good premise, but it doesnt follow through on it and just ends up incredibly convoluted.