OPERATION: RAGIN’ MOUSE

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In the war-torn world of Tendus, the Beastkin are a broken people—scattered, enslaved, and forgotten.

But all that changes when an elite Beastkin force rises from the sands, armed with cutting-edge technology and an unbreakable will.

Their mission? To turn the tide of oppression and reclaim their future.

As the Beastkin’s 3rd Logistics Company prepare to embark on a daring operation behind enemy lines, they learn of what evil lurks and awaits them.

With time running out, the Beastkin mustrescue enslaved civilians, forge alliances with the scattered Elven resistance, and face off against the enemy’s deadliest warriors.

Alongside Blake, a human hero from another world, and a squadron of futuristic tiltrotor aircraft, they launch a desperate assault on the dreaded Red Fortress, battling against impossible odds to free two legendary heroes from the Empire’s grasp.

Their fight is not just about survival—it’s about proving that the Beastkin arenot defeated.

They are not forgotten.

They are rising.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: Bosniarat

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 25
Views: 7,836

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

DrakoRemRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
Where do I start. I hope the author will take this review as an insight of what works and what doesn’t. Keep up the hard work and improve your craft.
First thing I want to say is that the first dialogue appears in the third chapter. That’s bad. Dialogues speed up the pace while descriptions slow it down. So you might get away with a few paragraphs of info dump and description but not more. I pulled through a few chapters just to see if it’ll go somewhere.
And this brings me to the next point: The inciting incident. Usually, authors have an inciting incident in the opening of the story to hook the readers and deliver a promise so the reader would expect something in return. However, we receive an introduction as the first chapter that gave us nothing more than what the synopsis did. Actually it told us much less. So it’s not really needed.
The dialogues. Ah dialogues. Ideally you want a conflict inside each dialogue but, well, that’s unrealistic. Yet the first dialogue we get is of two fanatics who reminiscent of the hard past and worship the near god-like figures who saved them. It’s unlikely for something like that to happen in a realistic settings. Put a fanatic and a snarky apathetic character in this scene and it’ll get more interesting. One praises the savior while the other one is confident they could pull it off on their one. You get conflict, contrasting values and an interesting dialogue.
Now the style. I’d cut at least half of what is written. Long sentences there are hard to read. Break them into shorter more reader friendly sentences. Don’t try to beautify each and every sentence. It’ll not impress the readers but will tire them. If you’ll go through some popular books, you’ll see that the breathtaking descriptions are rare. As rare as gems in the dirt. This is what makes them precious. Simplify your sentences and language and it’ll attract readers that will actually read instead of scrolling through.
Don’t take this review as a negative note. Criticism