Omni-mage: The Arrival of Dhana [LitRPG]

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

Peter Tome

• Chapter 5 – Hunter and the Hunted
  Apr 15, 2023
• Chapter 4 – The Pedestal
  Apr 14, 2023
• Chapter 3 – Ogre
  Apr 13, 2023
• Chapter 2 – Level Up
  Apr 12, 2023
• Chapter 1 - Birth
  Apr 11, 2023
• Prologue
  Apr 10, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(5)

• 1Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I've been blessed with yet another LitRPG in which the main character is whisked away to a different world, one with magic. It's got mystery and intrigue, it's got action and dialogue, but above all, it has a system that numerically calculates an individual's power!
  The writing is competent and fluid, and I'm excited to see what this new realm holds in store for Adam. Give this a read!
• S_WinterRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  So, an amnesiac man walks into a bar... No, actually, he walks through a forest, tall grass, and into a cave. Clearly this is going to end well! Spoiler: it does actually end pretty well.
  An amnesiac character is a good way to start as it allows us to get straight into the story without needing to worry about the character's backstory, or how he's missing home, or family baggage hanging over his head. This story certainly does that - it starts as it seems to go on: pacy and engaging.
  Story
  Good so far. I like the premise that the author's set up for why the MC is in the game world to begin with, and am interested to find out more details. The game world itself is relatively simple to get to grips with and the lack of memories mean that the MC has nothing to compare it with, so no meta discussion going on here.
  Style
  A decent, readable style. Sometimes a little awkward phrasing at times, but perfectly understandable and still engaging.
  Character
  At the point I'm up to, little is known about the character's background due to his amnesia. Still, he's reacted well to the challenges so far and has already made several significant steps forward. It'll be interesting to see how powerful he gets eventually.
  Grammar
  Very good. Only a couple of things here or there which didn't impact my reading enjoyment in any way.
• nitorRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Getting plucked out of your world to level up in another one. For some that is a dream, and for some a nightmare. I like the premise of the story, where contestants are selected to strive for greater heights. With some numbers that go up it fits nicely in the LitRPG genre. It has its own twist on the stats and the overall magic system, which is a nice addition to the story.
  The characters are a bit diverse and as the story progresses there is more character building. However I find them strangely accepting of their predicement.
  This could of coarse be because of the 'neural block' or whatever, but usually slaughtering monsters and repeatedly getting hurt is not taken as normal day life.
  Grammar is not my forte, so I can only say that no major flaws have been found. But I have read too much machine translations to be able to see minor errors.
  Overall I would say that this story does have potential, but that it won't be a high-stakes thrilling story about the doom of humanity for a while.
  A spoiler for around chapter 36
  To me it seems a little wierd that Adam doesn't create more ripples when back on earth or tries to spread the word. Especially because he still retains his game/Dhana memories. It felt more like a 'Oh yeah I am going camping with friends, be back in a bit' than a 'Oh god, I just died while bleeding horribly and thank almighty(or similar) I am still alive and get to see my family again before I get yeeted back'. He did have the good idea to try and improve his skills in the real world as well, so it is not all bad.
• MemzakRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  This story has amazing cover art... and not much else is at that standard. The prologue and initial chapters start out promising, but it very quickly degrades from there. I was initially expecting something akin to the Forerunner Initiative, with a slow start that gradually develops into something interesting as more information is revealed. Unfortunately the 'story' is incredibly slow movening and the 'progression' remains barebones and full of holes. If you know anything about LitRPG novels, you'll very quickly spot many poorly executed tropes.
  Unfortunately, that isn't even the weakest element of this story. Characterization is a absolute mess. It reads akin to some kind of bizarro dream-world where humans are replaced with characatures which are somehow simultaneously emotionless and emotionally volatile. Every time a character speaks to another it feels like second hand recycled soap opera scripts, and I struggle to get invested in any of them.
  Finally, it's evident the author has no idea what their doing when you start reading their replies to comments. Dozens of times I've seen a commenter point out one of the plot holes / weirdly inconsistent parts of a chapter and replied to with a weirdly defensive explanation or complete non squitur. If your actual text is unable to convey something to the point of having to constantly use the comments as a way of explanation, your writing is failing to tell the story you want to tell. This is an author craftsworkship problem, not a reader comprehension one.
  Onto specific review categories:
  Style: Feels like a fever dream as oposed to anything grounded in reality. This makes it really hard to care about anything really.
  Story: Stongest part of this story. Its interesting premise albeit with average execusion.
  Grammar: Subpar. Paragraph structure is wonky, LitRPG elements are clunky, and descriptions and overall flow are really bad. Could use substantial workshoping.
  Character: As mentioned above, bad. I struggle to even a
• bonnett88Royal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  While it is a good concept and a nice slow progression story, the conversations are clunky, awkward, doesn't fit the mood of the situation. Half the time its like some robots talking, switched to panic then immediately back to robot talk.
  I'll keep reading it and hope that whenever it gets picked up by an editor they can work on humanizing the dislogue more.