Occupier

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A young general starts an unrelenting fight to defend his people at a time when the shadow of death is present at every moment and the conflict never ends. Renowned for his valor and gallantry, this commander's moniker "The Occupier" makes him a representation of battle. After battling to end his life, this man encounters an emotion he never anticipated: love. The key to his heart has been taken by the enemy princess who stands in front of him. These two individuals, who share a love, are banished from their realm. The princess has an incurable illness that overshadows their happiness as they attempt to start a new life together. The Occupier writhes in misery after losing the greatest love of his life. Father Time shows up just when he believes it is all done. In exchange for saving his lover, he offers the occupier a mission that only occupiers can complete. The Occupier accepts Father Time's hand and steps into the unknown, unsure of what lies ahead.

Information

Status
Completed
Year
2024
Author
S.Wolf

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYADVENTUREROMANCE SUBPLOTMALE LEAD

Royal Road Stats

Rating
1.5/ 5.0
Followers
5
Views
24,933

Chapters(108 total)

What readers say about Occupier

  • “Overall: This is a rough read. It's needlessly wordy, skips over interesting details to explain very little about the world or the people in it, and has a lot of repetition of words and phrases to describe the same aspects of the story time and again. While…”
    PoTaytoHeadRoyal Road1.5 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

  • PoTaytoHeadRoyal Road
    ★★ 1.5
    Overall: This is a rough read. It's needlessly wordy, skips over interesting details to explain very little about the world or the people in it, and has a lot of repetition of words and phrases to describe the same aspects of the story time and again. While I can appreciate some of the thought and creativity on display, it's hamstrung by confusing or contrived plot, cliches that don't work with the overall tone and style, and prose that feels about a century old.
    Style: The style here is painful brevity on some things and painful over-explanation of others. The writing feels old, like someone trying to emulate a Tolkien or a Hemingway, but it doesn't fit in the modern style of the story being told. It's a time traveling gritty war/love story. You can use modern language and it will work just fine. The reliance on prose here really starts to wear on the reader. It's just too much. Ex:
    Then, salvation appeared. A narrow chute gaped near the entrance, a treacherous path but their only hope. With a surge of adrenaline, the Invader hoisted a whimpering child onto his broad back, cradled another in his arms, and let loose a thunderous roar that echoed through the cavern. It was a primal command, urging the remaining villagers to follow.
    Is this story meant to sound like it's a translation out of Latin or something? It reads like a 90s translation of the Odyssey adapted for high school reading.
    I'm just not sure that the style here is ever going to work. It's tedious and heavy handed and makes me want to skip past it. I couldn't keep reading past chapter three.
    Story: The story makes little to no sense. On multiple levels, from the title not matching what the character is called in the story to the whole motivation of the character being blown past in the first chapter, we get almost no sense of scale or depth. These characters are shallow. Who's "the Invader"? Some dude that was a general but also an assassin sent to kill random, specific people? Someone with no emotions

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