O, Cursed Child

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

nopenothana

• EIGHT
  Oct 29, 2023
• SEVEN
  Oct 29, 2023
• SIX
  Oct 29, 2023
• FIVE
  Oct 29, 2023
• FOUR
  Oct 29, 2023
• THREE
  Oct 29, 2023
• TWO
  Oct 29, 2023
• ONE
  Oct 28, 2023
• PROLOGUE
  Oct 27, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(4)

• Herald Of ChaosRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Let me say this first, The title and synopsis are great for a new author but I personally think that the cover could’ve been better. There are some good aspects about this novel and some that needs some further refinement.
  Style: You should really work on this, especially the prologue. It’s in second person perspective and believe me, it’s going to make a lot of readers quit then and there. I’m not saying it's bad, it's just uncommon. Unfortunately, most of the readers won’t be patient enough to read further and it’s a big issue because you’re not an established author. Again, this is just my personal opinion but I hope you look into it. The rest of the chapters are fine.
  Another issue I had as a reader is chapter length. I can not fully engage in the story because every few paragraphs there is either *** or a different pov, end of the chapter etc. It’s not a big deal if you’re binge reading but it might be a turnoff for the time being as your total wc is low atm.
  Story: The premise is good. But you have to be more specific and work on world building. This is also the reason I told you about cover. It’s not bad per se, but when I saw it the first time I thought it would be a horror story with magical realism. The story itself is interesting, but the first impression it gives is incongruent. What you need the most as a new author is a good title, cover, synopsis and first chapter. Everything else comes after this.
  Grammar: It’s fine. I’m not a native speaker so Idk about grammar rules but as long as I can read it comfortably it’s good. Maybe use () a bit less and italics more?
  Character: My favorite aspect of this story. Four different characters with a lot of potential. I like the description and dialogue with them and with a little bit more background information and emphasis on emotions, goals,stakes, this’ll be good. It only has 10k words now so I understand why it feels lacking in depth, especially with so many characters, but I think it won’t be an issue in the
• BeomJunKooRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  There's definitely an intriguing premise here with promising characters, and I'm all for slow-burn stories where the reader gradually gets to piece together the puzzle of the big picture, but I also must admit the glaring problems at hand here that's bogging down the whole thing from being as good as its potential.
  While vagueness, or at least not giving away too much in the beginning via exposition dump, is to be expected from stories of this sort, too many things (the world, character background/motivations, etc.) are made too unclear that at times it becomes too confusing to properly get invested in them.
  And since some of the other reviews here have already pointed it out in detail, I'm not gonna sound repetitive by saying what's already been said, but still, the writing and pacing also has problems which could be ironed out (such as the story not moving gradually enough to develop the required things to develop, or the at-times-clunky writing not giving enough needed energy to the scenes described).
  Then again, this is only the first 8 chapters or so in a story that hopefully has more to offer later on, so I await how things will play out in future.
• King's Tree TalesRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  Your story has potential, but I feel it's being held back by three major issues.
  Setting: I’m not sure where this story is taking place. Is it a fictional world of your own making, or is it a fictional version of our own? This isn’t made clear, so it gets jarring when all of a sudden cars and helicopters appear after people are fighting with swords. I also had no idea where the characters were throughout the story because the locations aren't named. This makes it hard to follow especially when changing POV.
  Setup and payoff: This is what got me the most. You have interesting characters, but the character development feels off because none of it is setup. Novus looking for Alina or being a deserter, Vanya wanting to kill the queen, and Wlham being a traitor to his family. It's a shame because these could have been great moments for character growth.
  Pacing: This one really ties in with setup. A lot happens really quickly and yet the events don't have much weight. I would recommend having periods of slower moments to allow for reflection. For example, Novus deserting in order to help Vanya should be an important moment for his character, but because there's no moment of reflection it doesn't have the impact that it should. Similarly, there's no recognition from Vanya about Novus's sacrifice, which makes her character look ungrateful. With a little more development these two could have a great dynamic.
  You have a good story here, but I recommend slowing down slightly to make sure everything makes sense.
• Ria CorvidivaRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  Overall, if I had to summarize my critique with one word, it would be 'choppy'. Not just in terms of sentence structure, but in terms of paragraphing as well. A great deal of the prose takes the form 'He does X. He does Y. She does Z.' It gives the prose an overall sing-songy feeling, bobbing to a staccato rhythm, but it lacks the variety of prose that allows for the building of tension and release by varying sentence length. Sometimes quick, choppy prose is good to accentuate a story. In an action scene, quick prose builds tension. It quickens the pace of the story. It gives an impressionistic feeling. You get little glimpses of what's going on. But every once in awhile, you want to break the monotony of the prose up by using a set of longer sentences, much as what I've just done here. By allowing for some longer, more varied structure, you allow for more complexity, not just to the story, but to the overall reader experience. Which is something that I felt was lacking with OCC.
  The use of third-person present amplifies this feeling of choppiness. I will admit to a certain traditionalist bias of preferring prose written in third-person past unless there's a good reason to avoid doing so, and though I know 1st-person present is common among contemporary YA fiction, that doesn't mean I necessarily like the trend. It's not something I would actively ding points off a rating for, but, because it's related to the choppy nature of the prose, I did want to bring it up.
  The grammar itself was not an overall detriment, although the orthography of parenthetical asides vs. italicizing was a little confusing. Most commonly, I see italics used to convey inner thoughts, and when I see parenthetical asides in the same work as italicized thoughts (?), it is confusing as a reader to figure out what each convention means. Apart from that, I would merely suggest that more complicated sentence structure can augment the reader experience when used in appropriate quantities.
  The story i