New Escape

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In a world not that unlike the present exists a fantastic technology to transfer one's consciousness into a game. A new frontier for video games has been opened, and my first experience in this world is an rpg. An escape from monotony and school has led me to experience a brand new world.(I originally lost my motivation for this story and kinda wanted to kill it, but I brought it into this world so I will fix it. I'll probably re-write the first chapters and include a more compelling story. Didn't really write the story for people to read in the first place and after I put it on here I stopped caring, but I am changed!(not too much but just a little))

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2015
Author: jellyfishkami

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.5/ 5.0
Followers: 66
Views: 140,964

Chapters(65 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(3)

gnarlytreemanRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
The writings style isn't bad for just a 1st person view, decent for a first fiction novel. Definitely could use more flair, and a lot more action.
The story doesn't have very much drive, its mostly a very skeptical look at his trainer, and some modest adventuring with very little interesting action. There needs to be more action writing, and personal struggling.
The grammar is readable, it reads like a native english speaker wrote this, not a professional writer. Thats not a bad thing, just nothing great either.
The character is mediocre. Which is bad. Give him more challenges.
This review was given at chapter 14, which at this point should have sucked me into the story more, but i don't feel that addicting need to finish the story. In all honesty the first 10 chapters should be rewritten, because they are so blah and average, that any story after won't ever be seen by most people. It truly does feel like a bored 15 year old wrote it, but no one really wants to read about a bored 15 year olds life. Having said that I intend to continue the read, giving full benefit of the doubt, where others havn't and may update the review at a later time.
ALSO CHANGE THE BOOK DESCRIPTION, LOL, seriously the advice on that the other reviewers have given is really good, they are not just being rude.
grinderotaRoyal Road
★ 1.0
what I'm commenting on is your summary "a fictional version of you" really makes me(and I'm sure alot of others) not want to even read the first chapter, not one word. If you are wondering why, then it's because when I read, I like to dig myself deep within the story, trying to imagine the protagonist as me, and being blatantly told that it is another person severely turns me away from this fiction. Another reason I can't seem to feel the urge to even look it is also because of the summary, where is the synopsis that tells me whether or not I want to read this, I mean think of yourself as the chef and it as an appetizer before a main course. I need me a little bit of a taste of your skill so I can know whether the main course might the most amazing thing I ever eaten or a brick that solo destroys my stomach. And I'm not the type to put something in my mouth without have the least idea how it might taste. That is all, G'dday sir
AziroFFRoyal Road
★ 0.5
its all good, a good story,the grammar is again good , the only problem i have is with the summary,change it! it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
if you change the summary i will change my review...i will give you 5 fking stars,so change the fking summary...
i'm sure that the many people that search beween reads get past this story only cuz you dont have a summay that invites people to click it and to read it