Needle Guardian
Community Rating
Description
A spinning needle. A golden needle. This was the object of stability, the source of Order. Although the gods of ages past call it the needle- or Liep in ancient tongue- it was more akin to a tower. A large tower whose length denotes the floor and ceiling of the universe.
This is not the only universe floating in Chaos. Another needle- silver in color- is currently on a crash course towards the world governed by the gold needle. Fragments of burning world surround this silver needle, each flickering with the silver's Laws.
The gold needle has Laws that spark formation and termination of celestial bodies. Creation and destruction. Time is the judicar.
The silver needle has Laws that focuses on strength. It has created a system for the sole purpose of allowing its inhabitants to pursue the pinnacle of strength.
The silver needle's Laws start disrupting and corrupting the gold needle's Laws, beginning at the point of collision. It just so happens that Earth is located near the edge of the universe...and the area where they collide.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2017
- Author
- zaberfire
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.2/ 5.0
- Followers
- 16
- Views
- 5,981
Chapters(6 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- CoolguyRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0This story got me very wet.
The story, the style, the character, and the grammar? Goddamn, I'm dripping.
The premise of the story is awesome. Idk where you got the idea for a giant clock in the middle of nowhere but it's fucking great. The needles, the string, the domains...they're all so different. Usually, in litRPG novels or other apocalyptic tales, there's no backstory. Like, why did this RPG system suddenly come into existence? or why the hell did this RPG system come down onto earth? They never tell you! I mean, sometimes, the mystery is part of the plot, but usually it's just a roughed over detail.
I love the character. A guy who thinks the world is boring and existence is pain? Hell yea, I can relate to that! Ha ha. ha...ha..*sniff*. But damn, I really like his calm attitude. Like he doesn't give a shit. It's just that from the way you write, the MC's character just doesn't seem to show through enough. I think you should spend a bit more time on his thoughts and internal monologues and stuff.
There are little to no grammar errors; however, the style needs a bit of work. You need more descriptions! I mean, I get how some side characters are very unimportant but you should still at least describe a few of those people on the subway platform. Like, seriously. There's at least thirty people. Ok. Three of them are gunmen. Ok. One of them is a highschool student. Ok. And there are two beautiful Asians. Ok. That's it. That's six people that are given- very- vague descriptions...do you see the problem? Even just giving the general age or age range of those people would be fine...
Anyhow, I definitely recommend giving this a read. Have some tissues at hand.