Monillas: Human Garbage

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

The mountain of trash... Some people already spent almost all of their lives living, walking, running on trash. With or without any dreams to have in the future. The family of Monillas is no exception. Trash scavenging every day and night. Will they just accept this horrible fate or strive and struggle to achieve a future for them?

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2021
Author: Tomato In The Street

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.7/ 5.0
Followers: 12
Views: 14,448

Reviews

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Community Reviews(7)

D.M. Rhodes (Razzmatazz)Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It’s a really quick and interesting read. The story is fairly fast paced in its narrative and is constantly accompanied by a rather excited narrator’s voice. If you’ve ever seen ‘Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor’ it’s a lot like that, in that the main focus of the story is money. The necessity of money and in so, the pursuit of it through dangerous, all or nothing methods; like gambling with your lifeline.
The characters are relatable in that their desires to succeed seem to be fueled by kind motives, but as the topic of money becomes more and more present in every chapter you kind of notice that it gets its hooks into them and makes them lose sight just a little of why they started this to begin with. Interesting dynamic between the currently two biggest characters Allaine and Jose.
The story is set in what appears to be the ‘real world’, specifically in the Philippines. As a native European I don’t know as much as I should about this place, so I am glad that the author goes out of their way to explain certain cultural nuances that would otherwise have been lost on me.
The grammar seems to have been proof-read a few times at this point, judging by the other reviews it used to be awkward before. It can still seem very stiff honestly, and the author uses a lot of ellipsis, almost too many every now and then. There’s definitely a lack of ‘flow’ in that the early writing, but that’s more of a taste complaint than a legitimate one and it’s a ‘problem’ that seems to get better and better in the later chapters. I suppose it makes sense as the author is warming up and getting more into it =)
All in all, if you’re interested in a real-world, nitty-gritty story about gambling, money and desperation you should give this one a fair shot!
highblast21Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Glad to see a kinsman showcasing his skills in RR. In the spirit of "bayanihan" I'll leave a review here. Let it not be said that we never look out for our fellow rice eaters.
Kidding aside the story has a realistic outlook of the country's poorest people. It portrays the struggle and injustice they face every waking day.
Grammar is readable with minor issues. Haven't read all the way to lastest chapter but it's decent.
Sara MullinsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Something about this story feels important. There are hints of wanting to show off the ins and outs, ups and downs of a vastly underrepresented culture, and there's a fascination to that that the description of the story could rise up to more, I think. But, that plus the short chapters mean that I was able to binge the story in a day. This story is definitely worth taking a look at, even if it's to turn your mind off and skim something dramatic but tiny and readable.
Style: Yeah, there's a sense of over-the-top dramatism that I think works. It could be taken further as an option, to create the sort of character of a godlike narrator to suit the way the story is being told, or we could go for a style that's more in the heads of our protagonists, but it's fairly effective as is. Part of me wishes for more sensory details and scene description, as these are things that, for me, make a story come alive.
Grammar: So, I'm of the opinion that, so long as grammatical issues do not directly and flagrantly impact the understanding of a story, then it's all good. No story on this site is going to be perfectly grammatical (mine certainly isn't), and even people who have English as their first language will have the same struggles. Essentially, we're all English Language Learners until the day we die. Five stars for comprehension and consistency. However! I'll say that, to most readers, it's probably a turn-off. The story could benefit and probably leave more readers happy from the author maybe finding a writing partner with a good grasp to help them edit.
Story: Interesting so far, and I want to see where it goes with the author's promise of a multi-arc story focusing on the plight of an entire family. I think connection with the characters will be very important going ahead, and that's worth considering when thinking about the narration style as well. What can the author do to make us feel as tied to these people and their battles as possible? To make the story keep popping, t
AzielRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I like the premise of the story as it's a change of pace from what you normally see on this site. The author going into detail about severe poverty conditions of the main cast is definitely the best part of the story, at least for me. I don't know how far he can carry this premise and keep it engaging but so far so good in that regard. I also rather enjoy the short chapters because it makes for an easy read, whenever I can slog through the rough grammar. I don't think English is this author's first language and it shows in the work, and while I personally don't like to be overly critical in these cases I can see this turning a lot of people off.
Overall if you can get past the grammar and want to check out something a little different I would say to give it a shot, as it is a swift read.
AwakenedMuseRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Overall
This story isn't my usual reading fare, but I decided to take a chance on it. The first 25 chapters introduce a Phillipino family and their lives as they scrape together their basic needs from mountains of trash. This story has a lot of really unique ideas, and a good presentation of the vicious cycle of poverty. I really enjoyed how the author presented these issues, and the way they escalate in very natural and logical ways.
Style
The writing style is very simple, and the short chapters are fast to read!
Story
Up through chapter 25, End of the Road, I really enjoyed the story. At the end of chapter 25, the author changes tone somewhat, going for a JoJo feel and telling the story of the whole family. True to the author's promise, the next chapters about the son are much more evocative of JoJo. Personally, I'm not a big fan of JoJo, so will not be continuing onward, but I know a lot of people do like JoJo. This writer has creative ideas and a very straightforward style, which is promising for folks who do want to read something like JoJo!
Grammar
This is the weakest aspect of this story, by far. That being said, the writing is still clear and it's easy to understand what is happening.
Character
The characters are one dimmensional and not very well fleshed out. Still, they are unique and the reader conveys their struggles as they strive for better lives, a real living, and a future for themselves and their children.
Dylan KingRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
In this fic, the author takes an interesting premise with some excellent grounding in our world's reality and uses it to tell an engaging character story,
However, there are significant grammar issues holding the author's prose back. The text has a nasty habit of switching tenses between present and past, and suffers a lot from a lack of imagery. As much as I have a sense of what some of the characters are like, I have no idea what any of the places they exist in look like, smell like, feel like to be close.
This is a great idea, that needs some real redrafting work or even a beta reader to help the author to get to grips with the grammar.
~HOLLOW~Royal Road
★★★ 3.0
Overall 3/5
The story is really good. The premise is great. The writing however needs work. That’s okay though! I see so many stories with great plots, characters, etc, but the writing falls flat. Some more work on grammar and POV would be the first great step.
I truly want to recommend this story but so far I cannot because of the major issues in grammar. If you however change the major issues, this story could shine and I would be more than happy to change my review!
Style 3/5
Another aspect holding back your story is style. I will be reading your story, enjoying it, but suddenly something jarring in parentheses will explain something that doesn’t need to be explained.
Or a giant use of capitalization LIKE THISSSSS is put in there. Please don’t do this. Please.
Grammar 3 /5
Your grammar is truly holding back the story. I am quite sorry. The issue is that your word choice feels a bit limited. I myself struggle from the same and always keep a dictionary and thesaurus on hand to help with this issue.
Your story however is easy to read. I see a lot of writers on here don’t space their dialogue out, but you don’t seem to have that problem. That’s good!
Story 2/5
Your story has a lot of potential, but I see a huge thing lacking.
There are no descriptions of settings so far.
In chapter one a great improvement would be describing the heaps of trash. You could describe how Monillas hurts himself while sifting through it all, or the techniques he uses to find valuable items. You don’t describe Monillas ‘house’ he hates so much. It’s a huge chance to create more sympathy for the main character but… It doesn’t happen. It needs more in depth. Like is the door rusting? What color are the drapes? What time of day is it? Etc.
You can get very descriptive with it.
Character 4.5/5
You can understand the characters personalities and their plight. Unless you’re lacking a soul there’s no way you couldn’t be invested in someone trying to work their way out of extreme poverty. The only