Milo

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2020

Author

Talo Segura

• Chapter Eleven
  Feb 27, 2020
• Chapter Ten
  Feb 25, 2020
• Chapter Nine
  Feb 24, 2020
• Chapter Eight
  Feb 23, 2020
• Chapter Seven
  Feb 22, 2020
• Chapter Six
  Feb 18, 2020
• Chapter Five
  Feb 15, 2020
• Chapter Four
  Feb 13, 2020
• Chapter Three
  Feb 11, 2020
• Chapter Two
  Feb 9, 2020
• Chapter One
  Feb 5, 2020

Reviews

Community Reviews(3)

• Tana NariRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  This story is very much not the typical story for this site... or, a typical story anywhere. I was not being fascetious when I compared it to Catcher in the Rye, and while I'm here I'll add Donnie Darko. In the end, it's a bizarre experience, but one well worth having every so often.
  The writing, by accident or intent, apes the tone of awkward coming-of-age (though not as much the isolation) that defines Salinger's most famed work. It is a painfully honest look at teen life. I was reminded of all the humiliating things most of us did during our teens that we try to forget happened when we get older. It's complex, it's relatable, it's about as comfortable as a straightjacket lined with sandpaper.
  This time with a teen bookworm who's not quite figured out he's gay, as well as his extended and complicated family life. With the possibility of a divorce on the horizon, a sexually aggressive (female) cousin who feels him up in the first chapter, and an older teen he and said cousin are both developing crushes on... there is character conflict to spare.
  If anything, its main drawback is being *too* real. Most people prefer their fiction a little less messy than real life... but that's a matter of taste and has no bearing in a review, save to tell prospective readers what to expect.
  And what you can expect is a master's class in character study. Everyone important is established quickly and are dynamic with one another (even if, like Caulfield, the MC is rather aimless), though I think the story makes a mistake or two in taking time to reveal the adults' issues through their own eyes, instead of keeping the story limited to the children's perspectives alone. It ruins the mysteryand kills the potential to speculate alongside the characters since the audience already has the answers. Given how much of the story involves the teens speculating among themselves, it's toxic to an otherwise strong narrative- by the time the important characters discover something, it's long ago be
• AnjinRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The first thing to note about this fiction is that it really does not fit the mould for this website. Personally, I'm pleased to see some variation, and hope that Royal Road does expand to become a forum for fictions of all types and genres, but we're not there yet. Partway through the second chapter I was still kind of expecting the MC to get sucked into a game, or get transported to an alternate universe, populated primarily by beautiful, licentious elves...
  That's a quick description of what this fiction isn't, now to talk about what it is. It's a charming, descriptive narrative about a young teenager on the cusp of his sexual awakening. A few inter-family sub plots are threaded throughout the novella, but that's the meat and bones of it. The characters, descriptive language and attention to detail all come together to make for a nice, easy-reading, approachable drama.
  Style - The slice-of-life genre has been masterfully handled here. The story has a daydreamy quality, befitting of our whimsical protagonist. The language is rich and varied, and the author sets the scene brilliantly time after time. Add to this some believable dialogue and character interactions, and you can say nothing else than that this is a stylistic success.
  There are few enough negatives here, although I will highlight the over-use of quotes, and an occasional tendency to over-explain. Milo, the eponymous main character, is merrily chewing his way through A Tale of Two Cities throughout the story, and frequently drops snippets in his asides. These quotes normally have a tenuous link to events unfolding at the time, but not always. When your novella weighs in at 25,000 words, you want to avoid over-use of quotations. As it stands, it's probably about 5-10% of the content.
  On a semi-neutral note, there is also a degree of over-explaining. Another reviewer rightfully drew the comparison between this story and a Catcher in the Rye (a comparison that I'm livid they beat me to) and this is partly
• Eichi NemotoRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Hello, First of all, I only gave you a day so I know the problems I mentioned in the first chapter havent changed so lets get on with the review.
  There are way fewer little grammar things that ruin the flow in the later chapters so I think you edited the last chapters a few times more than the beginning otherwise just read it to yourself more. You seem to have a style where you forgo descriptions until the beginning or the end of a few scenes. It's a bit awkward to read since the rest of the chapter just loses that quality of detail but that could just be how you write it.
  In regards to the Story, I guess its cute? It's really not my type of story but you tried to pile on a few things at the same time, never really giving the reader time to focus on one thing except their relationship. Milo himself doesn't seem to have any development at all and is just being lead around but that is okay for only 11 chapters. Other characters are just that, characters, plainly passed over while hinting at potential plot points. The ending seems rushed since everything resolves itself in literally two talks.
  So we can break it down like this.
  You know how to write well, that much is certain, the flow of your chapters are very slow paced so 11 chapters do not give any of the characters justice including Milo. It only felt like some things were happening by chapter 7 or so. You placed all the plot points together and resolved them all together, It could have been better just by using different point of views more during the same day if you really just want it to last 1 summer.
  Edit: I say "things" because its simpler for people to understand.