MiD - Teleportation

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In the late half of the 18th century, the forbidden practice of mana manipulation and materialization has been reintroduced to the general populous, paving the way for inventive minds to exploit the newly discovered way to convert one state of energy to another.

The story below is begins in 1874, Hanover with the introduction of a baker, named Johann, and a geologist, named William, who are best friends. And, due to an unexpected turn of events, a young boy named Li, a woman named Cassandra and a cat named Yuki join the cast of characters who will lead the story. As the pacing of the story had not been thoroughly thought out beforehand, it is quite slow. The direction which this long, drawn outnovelwill take is to reach a destination untold, acquire an artifact unknown and use it for the purpose undefined.

If you find thissynopsisto be unintelligible or plain misleading... eh~ it is quite similar to what I wrote in the actual piece, so you'd be wrong. But, if this peaks any interest, I would recommend reading this little story of mine, MiD - Teleportation.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2025
Author: W. E. Faith

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 4
Views: 4,497

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

ABC LazyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I like how the first Chapter lays the foundation for the world building and the merits of the whole plot of the story. One thing I don't like is how slow the pacing is - there is even a chapter called Slow that's the longest of the first chapter.
I presume the viewer count dropped from the 1st part to the 2nd part of the Hanover chapter. To be fair, you shouldn't have changed the style that unruptly. Once you started to dialoguing the characters, that's when a lot of people dropped the novel.
The parts that did the best should be the ones that have some long title. Don't eat into it. Instead, you should put a direct title on your chapters, not just some random noun or an adjective that's used in the part.
I like those little illustrations you put about every 4 parts. I like how real the story feels. Even though it is set in the 19th century, it feels so close to home. I know it was intended to feel like that but, it is the most prominent feature about your writing. I also like how you handle the characters in the mundane and restricted environment. They feel real to me, at least. The way you use punctuation marks and other symbols is also a big plus.
And, you should put some kind of tropes in your writing. Yours is, to be honest, bland. Add a little charm and write with character. You are one of the characters in your novel, along with Johann and Will.
And, "Please, make do with what you can and thank you", that is very nice, man.
L. E. A. FaithRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
It was quite a read, sure, but I would say it lacks personality, detail and, most of all, fantasy. I've read quite a lot of things in the past and wrote a whole lot of reviews before (one even resulted in me getting banned) but this was, to put it simply, a piece I'd read to put myself to sleep. It is interesting but nothing more.
I'd also like to add one, crucial detail: You are wordy as a damned donkey. If you were trying to say the character was saying something, you could say he's or Will's but you instead say, he is and Will is, but that just be me. Even though the story has potential and the world-building has been enriched with the simple inclusion of a single state of matter, it lacks character - a thing that sets it apart from other fiction. It is drawn out, the pacing is all over the floor, wailing and screaming, and the whole thing just takes a long time to actually do something. I guess exposition and innovation are important to the story and its delivery but, it is just way too drawn out and, sometimes even, boring.
I hope you would read this review and reflect on it. God forbid, I am the first person to review this piece so who knows, I might even be featured in the fiction itself. Even so, I only want the best for you and the future of the novel. Well then, I guess I'd see you some day, some where and some how. To say this novel was interesting, I do mean it's interesting. Just, focus on the parts that are worth something and edit out the stuff that you know wouldn't do much. You are God and the creator of you own universe when you're equipped with pen and paper - or a keyboard, a screen and a computer in this case. So, be the saving grace this novel needs and don't be like Jesus or Rhashtava.
"And please, make do with what you can and thank you."