Meat PiZZa [Weird Epic Zombie Progression Fantasy]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Insectoid zombies roam the United States. Feudal powers clash amidst new and myserious magic. Even after the apocalypse, the highs and lows of humanity still persist: Pizza, and the Boston accent.

When Lex, the naive but well meaning prince of the Kingdom of New England, heads south on a grand adventure, he doesn't expect to be so quickly thrown off course. Unfortunately, when you live in a post apocalyptic world swarming with bug/human zombie monsters, these things tend to happen.

Lost and alone in a new city, he attempts to enlist the help of Cannon, a brash and abrasive pizza boy from Old Boston, and Tay, a cruel and cunning assassin from a family of roaming bandits. Unsurprisingly, it goes pretty poorly and they all end up in prison under threat of execution.

When the town starts to turn upside-down, though, our plucky heroes may be its only hope. Can they put aside their differences to save themselves and everyone else?

Readers can expect:A highly stylized long scale adventure a la One Piece set in a wacky post-apocalyptic United States (and beyond!).

New chapter posted every day!

Currently on hiatus until late October/early November to prep the release of arc 2.

Now on Rising Stars for horror!Also on Rising Stars for comedy!

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: PhilOxnard

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.8/ 5.0
Followers: 82
Views: 15,549

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

AndrosWorldEnderRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Meat Pizza takes us into the landscape of a post-america separated centuries or so from a mysterious Insectoid Zombie pandemic.
The series offers a 1st person take on the adventures of Cannon and the group he recruits along the way. The 1st person narration combined with the comedic nature of the world lets the author do a meta-comentary on the events as we see them.
The main character, Cannon, has an endeering personality which shows just how casually zombies would be perceived after so much time living with them in the world. We also meet the coward, Prince Lexington and mischievous Tay whose perspective chapters are equally captivating as Cannon's.
What readers will love best is how despite the comedic tones and insectoid zombies, the world feels authentic in it's presentation. The casualness of the zombies as an environmental hazard after so muchg time is apparent; as well as the recovered technology of the world we know Examples are a bicycle to pull carridges; or a college dormitory repurposed as a city.
The author takes their own unique approach to depicting a post-apocalyptic landscape, which is the most important part in any apocalypse fiction. I highly recommend Meat Pizza and look forward to the rest.
Wandering Brain SpasmRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Bettah buckle up, kids, cus this ride's aboutta get wihld!
That was painful to write. I don't know how the author makes the thick Boston accent work as well as he does. Black magic, probably.
Okay, so you're either going to love the story's chaotic, first-person narration style, or you're not. Simple facts. So far I love it. It's wild, it's fresh, it's absolutely unhinged, and the best part is, I can't tell where any of this is going. But I'm along for the ride.
Gus WhitehallRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I didn't read the synopsis at first, and I still pictured everything in the style of One Piece in my head. The fun, chaotic tone of this story makes it a blast to read, and I'm excited to continue reading it. I'd love for it to be adapted as a manga/graphic novel in the future.
Lack of PoochlineRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Do you hate stupid Mc's?
If you answered "yes" get out of here because Cannon, one of our multiple leads, it's the epitome of stupidity. Funny stupidity, one should clarify. Badass stupid. Common sense as a dump stat stupid.
And he works great as the introduction to the world Meat Pizza, the post-apocalyptical , bug zombies, credit card assassins, people who love chains a bit too much, and fat princes novel you didn't know you needed.
Style: I cannot express how glad I felt when I realized I had found a novel in Royal Road with a Lemony narrator. This kind of narrator is not only quite hard to pull off (It requires writing humor beyond pop culture references and quips, a skill so rare in our post-MCU world) but it has fallen out of style as of late. People don't want to be reminded that the book they are reading is a freaking book, and that's a tragedy. And, besides, a Lemony narrator is... a terrible idea for a power fantasy.
Luckily for us, this is not a power fantasy. This is a story that follows a group of misfits with unusual weapons as they bounce about post-apocalyptic USA. Because apocalypses only happen in USA. Rarely in japan. And the style is PERFECT for it.
Characters: they have their own voices, distinguishable personalities, and they act according to their backgrounds. Mainly Cannon. Cannon, like the mattress brand. I fucking love this character. I don't get half of what he says in his thicc Boston accent, but that's part of the charm. Tay is fine, we haven't seen much of her, and Lex is an uptown girl. Except he's a boy. And doesn't have Billy joel simping behind him. He's a fat prince and a coward, people, what do you want me to say? He's never had a backstreet guy... or rather, he betrayed the one he had. Screw you, Lex.
Story: The story so far has been the group... coalescing as they get jailed, and we see a bit into the antagonistic groups and their reasons to oppose the protagonist group. Except for Cannon, that did nothing wrong. He's just
M.A MOFFRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The first few chapters were a little confusing until I realised that they were introducing the characters, BUT from chapter 4 onwards it makes sense and has all jelled together nicely….like a piping hot pie!
I find the portrayal of Cannon and his thick Bahston accent entertaining. At this point (chapter 9) He just is oblivious and rowdy, almost like he’s aware but isn’t ‘fully aware’ of the insectoid zombie apocalypse. It’s a great contrast to the other MCs - Lex and Tay.
Character development in general has been done really well in my opinion, with each of the mc’s having well-defined personalities and mannerisms. With this is mind, the dialogue is well written and flows even when there are multiple characters in the same scene - like when they’re all together for the first time in jail, it’s an entertaining and funny read.
The style of writing is enjoyable and for the most part stays consistent. There are a very few grammar mistakes, or if there was more I missed them because it didn’t detract from immersion at all.
Overall, it is a well written and entertaining fiction that I’m going to continue to follow because now I’m invested in how this is all gonna pan out.
CashewRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This fiction is incredibly underrated and deserves way more attention! It’s witty, well written, frequently funny, and full of spirit. Every character introduced so far is interesting and most importantly, entertaining and unique.
The zombies aren’t the focus of this story. They are a threat and the insectoid nature of them makes them more dangerous and much cooler (in my opinion) than the normal zombies we’ve read about a thousand times. But we begin this story in a world that is used to them and mostly understands the threat they pose.
Theres a grand journey in the making here, and the entire cast has something to offer. The dialogue is wonderful and engaging and while there’s a lot of bluster and witticisms, it never felt cringy in the slightest. It works and it’s good.
The writing style is casual and effective. The narrator is self-aware and leans into it, which ads a fun dimension to the way the story is told. Some paragraphs could be broken up and there are occasional slips in verb tense, but it strangely feels okay due to the second hand nature of the narrator. I don’t think I found a single spelling or punctuation error. The editing is super clean. This story is seriously polished and it’s so nice to see.
so far, I love it and think there’s a lot of potential here. Check it out!
Resigned DilettanteRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story will live or die on its style. It is very strong. The flavor isn't for everyone, but it is clear, consistent, and knows what it's doing. Which I view as being technically excellent regardless of the reader's taste. Just from a personal taste perspective I do like the blend of persistent low level comedy and absurdism with a world that somehow also seems well thought out and internally consistent.
I didn't really notice any grammar problems. Though the style almost overwhelms preconceived notions of grammar. The only important thing for me while reading is if I ever get confused by the wording, and I didn't, so I am just going to lump it in under style.
The story is good so far, though it is still in the 'getting the team together' phase. I'm sure that things will be hookier when the main plot arises. Bringing three characters together however takes time and means I still don't know what the basic plot is, but I'm sure that will become evident soon.
I'm also going to lump characters in with style, since they are all consistent, and well portrayed. You get a very clear sense of who they are and they don't do anything jarringly out of character, but might still surprise you. I am taking a half point off just for taste reasons since I don't know how long I want to hang around with them. Tay is my favorite, but is also the most generic (in a seems competent and blends in on purpose since)-- I did love the 'act now, think later, feel never' line though, which is what pushes her up over the others for me. Together they seem like they'll make for a good group dynamic.
Anyways, things seems to be building up in a timely manor so I'll follow along for a little bit at least.
n2furRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
First few paragraphs took me a minute to adjust for the style, but after that it was non-stop. I was sucked into the narrative. Tay was my favorite character until she changed outfits. Regardless, Cannon is pretty cool too I guess.
Style: The author has a distinctive writing style. It's right on the edge of being too flowery/overly descriptive, but imho manages to pull back just in time before slowing the story down too much. Paragraph structures are a little big for mobile reading but otherwise not technically an issue.
Grammar: I only noticed a few minor typos that appear to be from typing too quickly and not catching the mistake during editing. Some word choices felt a bit odd, but that's more of a style thing, such as using "First and foremost, most human..." in the first paragraph. Might roll off some tongues better than others. It made my narration app sound like it was stuttering or like "most" was narrated/typed incorrectly. Had to check my phone to see if the writing was correct.
Story: Highly enjoyable story so far. The setting and the setup is excellent. The first few paragraphs of the first chapter are a little overly descriptive compared to the rest of the story, but that isn't a fault. I think it works well to set the tone and style.
Characters: They are well developed and unique, each with their own motives and personalities. I don't really have any critiques there except that Cannon's accent felt slightly inconsistent. Heavier at times and then almost non-existent at other times. I am a fan of subtlety when it comes to writing/reading accents. Anything that slows the reader down and makes them have to decipher what the character is saying needs to be reviewed.
Overall score is high for me. I really like this one. It's thick and slower paced compared to some of the other webfiction stories I've read recently, and it will be curious to see how well it does. Cheers!
Narrin DawaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Quick Story Overview
Meat PiZZa by PhilOxnard plunges readers into a vivid post-apocalyptic landscape, blending humor, action, and a touch of the bizarre. The story follows Cannon, a over-the-top lacrosse enthusiast, as he hacks his way through both monsters and quirky social interactions. It's a n amusing mix of brutal survival and irreverent comedy, punctuated by an unapologetically intense Bostonian accent.
Style
The author's style is distinctive with a comedic, casual narrative voice that breaks the fourth wall and keeps readers engaged. The humor is sharp, often absurd, and the Boston accent for Cannon's dialogue adds a unique flavor to the reading experience. However, the heavy use of accent can be both good and bad—I sometimes found it a bit difficult to parse. A balance in character dialogue might enhance accessibility without losing character personality.
Story
The story is entertaining, with an unexpected mix of post-apocalyptic survival and quirky humor. The descriptions are vivid, and the narrative flow well between scenes of gory action and lighter, humorous moments. The concept of a lacrosse-playing survivalist and a covered wagon bicycle setup is both original and delightfully absurd. The narrative sometimes lingers on descriptive scenes, which could possibly be tightened up to maintain the pacing during key action moments.
Grammar
PhilOxnard does an excellent job with grammar, maintaining readability while giving characters distinct voices. The prose is polished, and punctuation is handled well, even when Cannon's Bostonian slang complicates dialogue. One small area that could be better would be to occasionally simplify sentences that run too long, as these can break the rhythm for readers who might prefer tighter prose.
Character
The characters are memorable, especially Cannon, whose bravada and flair make him a standout protagonist. Prince Lexington and Sir Taran also add depth, with a contrast that balances the outragousness of Cannon's persona. T
TwistyWritingRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Overall I think the author did well in writing this but in my opinion, there are a few things that could be done to make it a better product overall.
Style: I like the style you are going for, some post-apocalyptic medieval kind of vibe. Kind of reminds of the series “Last Man on Earth” for some reason. Though I felt a bit of tonal whiplash when serious moments try to have humor in them, like when one of your characters murders a man in cold blood then their friend has to mention his whimsical one-man show, and other things like that. 4
Story: For now, it’s good and I like the way it’s going. But the reader doesn’t really have any hook to keep reading since you keep switching POVs for the first three chapters. Maybe you can put a prologue which gives a reader a reason to continue reading until the story finally starts. 4
Grammar: No problems for the most part. There might be some slight errors that I may have forgotten about but they weren’t major enough to be remembered. Though your synopsis has “Unfortunatley” misspelled, I would change that. Also I’m not sure if this is grammar but sometimes your tenses change very suddenly from past to present to past again. In addition you also write large text blocks like its traditional publishing which can make it hard to read sometimes, you should probably use the web novel’s format to your advantage by allowing your words to take up more space. 3.5
Character: I like the characters, they are distinct enough to be interesting but not too different that it makes no sense for them to be together in the story going forward. The characters’ dialogue sometimes seem a bit unrealistic like when your character in chapter 2, when one of your characters start trying to make the dead man do magic tricks, but the characters mostly are written well with good characterization. 4.5
Total: 4/5