marine

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

a squad of marines were sent to eliminate a terrorist splinter group called python after the mission they were shot down in a unknown way our protagonist is the newest member of this team and has special gift at the age of only sixteen he is the first to discover that they are not on earth anymore now he has to fight to survive in this fantasy world and soon will realize that being a marine isn't what its cracked up to be.warning violent and has mature content.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2016
Author
evilgod99

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYADVENTURETRAGEDYMULTIPLE LOVERSROMANCE SUBPLOT

Royal Road Stats

Rating
0.6/ 5.0
Followers
8
Views
1,316

Chapters(1 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

  • DurrendalRoyal Road
    ★ 1.0
    Hello there.
    Since the author has decided nto to address his issues and rather just [TRASFERED](yes, with that spelling) his story with the same mistakes, I'll be copy pasting my review here with just a few changes. Just like the author.
    I see a lot of negativity here. And frankly, I don’t see the point. Why not tell the author exactly how and what he needs to develop instead of cussing at him willy-nilly? Support him, people. Don’t do this.
    Style: Not very good, my friend. It is hard to read, if readable at all.  The dialogues, thoughts, narration all bleeds and melds into an incoherent pulp.  The narration is all wrong, viewpoints are muddled up.
    Story: Loopholes bigger than the sun. Logical fallacies. A child soldier with that IQ? The story flow is terrible with no coherent development.
    Grammar: Atrocious. No paragraph spacings, no white spaces. Tense all over the place, too many typos. Punctuation died a lonely death in your fic.  But, I will tell you how to fix that, don’t fret.
    Character: The less said the better. No one has any character. Infodumps clutter the thing.
    Now that the thing is done, lets get you to improve the story!
    Well, what do we need for our story? well, lets start of with…grammar!
    http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=30052  <For Style
    http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=52998&pid=525214#pid525214
    ^ That link would help you a lot.
    For Story
    http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=15421
    http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=25350
    http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=8211 <http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=22004 << Dialogue
    Character:
    I suggest leafing through the stuff here, will help.
    http://royalroadl.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=2469
    Don’t drop the fic. Just keep on writing. Like your MC, asborb more knowledge and improve continuously. Don’t feel burdened. Just write the story you want to tell us. But use these tools so that we can un
  • ShaRoseRoyal Road
    ★ 0.5
    Not nearly enough fast-talking Australians who review games.
    The main character doesn't even wear a hat.