Mellie accidentally opens a long awaited portal taking her to the home of her overpowered ancestors. Alanor is a magical medieval world where humanoids are struggling to survive against the monsters they fight, eachother.

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Darren DaytonRoyal Road

★★★★ 3.5

I'm only 12 chapters in so far, as that's currently how far the story has been posted.
There are some grammar and spelling errors, plus some logic errors, such as names being randomly changed around, that sort of thing. Easily overlooked in the grand scheme of things, and easily fixed with an editing pass.
The story is entertaining so far, and doesn't suffer much from the errors present. I can't believe I'm saying this, because the complaint I usually hear/have is that a story is dragging on too long, but this one would benefit from slowing down a little. More detail. More time to get to know various characters, more time to appreciate things about the world and system presented.
It's very rush rush right now, and that's great from a pacing point of view, keeps you on the edge the whole time. On the other hand, it's bad because we just don't know things that should probably be established, how the main character feels about certain people, things, etc. for instance.
She goes from "I don't know where I am" to "I have magic, let's be a badass" to "time to save all these people I happened across" in 12 chapters. It's... a little TOO fast, in my opinion. Still going to keep reading, but this would benefit from a slower pace and some editing.

Manablood Mellie

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Chapters(44 total)

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Community Reviews(1)