Luna

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

REWRITE:https://royalroadl.com/fiction/15725/bloody-killing-game

This story will no longer be updated.

Luna is every man's dream girl. She's incredibly smart, unresistingly adorable AND good at cooking. So it's no wonder Ryo fell in love with her. But Luna carries a dark past. Contains coarse language, gore, nudity and a psychopathic yandere.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2015
Author: pu77

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.1/ 5.0
Followers: 22
Views: 21,035

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

BrezerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It's a good story. Start off crazy as shell though lol
I hope the author comes back soon.
zoezeoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I think the best part of this story is the gradual humanization of Luna. Another great point is that the MC hasn’t become boringly overpowered like many of the other stories, but I feel that a minor flaw is that his character/thinking is just a little on the too weak and unimaginative side. For example, throwing a bottle at Emi in Chapter 36. If he picked up Mayu’s dropped dagger and threw it instead, that might have been more interesting.
In my opinion, the main weakness of this story is the lack of variety in the plot. E.g. it basically consists of Ashen B, C, D finds/attacks MC or Luna, Luna wins. Which may get stale if repeated too many times. In addition, if the group gets too big, the individual characters will become less easy to flesh out.
Finally, I think that while a harem ending for a story like this may be an obvious ‘mainstream’ possibility, aiming for something more unique might make it exceptionally memorable.
*Similar to Mira Nikki (anime), but with a better storyline.
boamorte10Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
this story sounds promising. I don’t understand, when it’s a guy killing everybody then he’s awesome, but if it’s a girl she’s a monster? lol I think she’s awesome as well!!! her only problem is that she gets somewhat dumb with her mood swings. another problem is that the main character is a fucking pussy, he’s really frustrating, I suppose he’ll come to value luna more over time… I really hope this doesn’t get cliche(she will get kidnapped then he’ll suffer, won’t be able to live without her and all that bullshit..) author please man him up faster!!!, I know that he will become a man gradually but… I really can’t tolerate him bitching all the time!!!!!!
I want to know what this supernatural and fantasy tag is about! luna isn’t human probably because she’s too badass and awesome to be only human, another thing i hope is that the main character becomes like her!! then it would be awesome too
overall this story sounds promising as i’ve said before and is a very good read, but can become much much better!!! which i suppose only needs some time.
DeltaSquaddieRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
bunch of weirdos are saying your story is great and then giving you slightly lower scores not because the story is bad but because they want a girlfriend whos a yandere... i like this story... its kinda interesting lol (to see the maincharacter not be a op snob who has a harem and keeps getting lucky)
P HofmannRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The story starts with longer prologue than usual compared to other stories on RR, which is not a bad thing. It tells an intriguing story, while giving the reader an idea of what is going on in eastern europe, before switching to Natasha/Luna.
The starting setting is a city ghetto/slum, filled with refugees and other desperate people, which gives the story an enthralling atmosphere. Put in the middel of it, Natasha tries to make do. She gives the impression of someone capable, but still vulnerable.
I Love the story, the characters and the atmosphere so far. So much so, that even the shortcomings in grammar have not made me stop reading!
BlueSapphireRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
YANDERE YANDERE YANDERE. (Chanting Muhahahahahhaa) first of all i don't mind this story it's good and from what i read it's great, agian the main character is a bitch which is one of the reasons i stop reading because i can't handle a bitch that is undeserving of a yandere girlfriend, one of the reasons i like that is because if you have a yandere girlfriend 100% never cheat on you and most likely be killing everyone that is competition so np there, but as stated before the main character is just what threw me off i want a man not a boy/bitch.
MejiroRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Down and Gritty Action Thriller
A military thriller, so a genre under-represented on RR, if you want a change from the more common isekai, litRPG, harem and dungeon-core stuff. It's fairly taut, with a lot of things happening quite fast (as you'd expect of an action-thriller) but the action scenes are typically clear enough it terms of what's going on and who's trying to kill whom with what.
The overall style is appropriately spartan - there's not a lot of words wasted on fairly empty exposition of how it's a messed-up quasi-police state, filled with morally ambiguous types. If you've seen Black Lagoon, or pretty much any cold war thrillers, you know the drill enough not to need it massively expanded on. The characters are fairly thinly sketched, but fit their purpose - there's hints of future development coming in, and a host of messy relationships and their ambiguous relationship to the law and the powers that be.
The grammar and syntax needs a decent going through - there's quite a few missing words, stray (or missing) commas and other oddities. Not even to blur the meaning, but it can sometimes take a few reads of a sentence to work out the meaning, which does hurt the flow and delivery of the story.
Each 'arc' is very short (just a few chapters, and probably would be a single chapter in a physical book) which makes them pretty easy to consume, you're not waiting ages for the end or struggling to remember what's going on.
If you want a break from the usual efforts found on RR, this might be a decent change - hopefully the grammar will get a going through and tidying up, as it does detract from the overall narration, but it's functional enough
RefraynRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Yandere fans will love it, but those looking for a well-written story should pass on this. While normally I would suggest going to the rewrite Bloody Killing Game for an improved story anybody might enjoy (it is way better), it hasn't updated for a while.
Style: Good, but a little simple.
Grammar: There are some typos every so often. Not the best, but certainly not horrible.
Story: The whole plot is cliche and on the level of fanfiction. A lot of it doesn't even make sense, there are threads left hanging, the pacing's meh, and quite a lot relies on coincidences. Normally one could ignore this to a certain extent if the characters are great, but unfortunately that's not the case here.
Example:
Plot device girl invites Ryo, Luna, and their ally to an amusement park. They end up going to a haunted house and the floor caves in (???), where in a series of tunnels (???) they meet another enemy... Random and unexplained.
Characters: They are one-dimensional and everyone except Luna is boring - even the protagonist. He's very dense, can't seem to stay consistent, and easily forgets any trauma once fights are over. In battles he's a deadweight (only shouting a character's name in pivotal moments) and does not make any effort to improve or have any shame of this. Despite this, he always stops Luna from killing enemies who clearly deserve it. Makes me wonder why Luna even fell for him when pretty much everyone loves her. That's not all - there's zero character development in anyone, even after moments where there should be.
In conclusion, the plot's meh, the characters one-dimensional, and the only thing I love it for is the yandere elements.
vtkunRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
came here to read a good novel with a yandere main heroine but what i got was a wimp mc
AShyLeecherRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
A rather enjoyable read, slightly nonsensical story progression and weak mc detract though. Aside from that the story appears to have met the fate of many other on rrl, death by abandonment or sudden unannounced hiatus lasting months. So I wouldn’t suggest reading this and placing any emotional investment in it unless the story ends up resuming. You’ve been warned by a random individual with no reviewing skill. Deal with it