Lost One's Telltale (Gwyn's Pet Life)

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2017

Author

Xisenge

• Chapter 1: Price of Love
  Jul 28, 2017
• Prologue: At the End
  Jul 28, 2017

Reviews

Community Reviews(4)

• DrunkenDutchRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Normally i would loathe slow paced stories, but it is suprisingly good. The characters are interesting and there are some heartwarming moments.
  While some drama may seem senseless or uncessesary, following chapters flesh things more out and explain why. For example why Gwynn was let down and what happened in Lady Isabels past.
  Some charisteristics and actions of the main character clash, but thats most likely because the author wrote from time to time for fun without really planning at the beginning where the story would head to.
  It has its flaws, but what story doesnt? Theres plenty of other stories showered with 5 stars while having bad grammer, bad plots and dead personalities. So why give it 2 and a half stars? Seems pretty harsh.
  its surprising to see people give such bad reviews, while not (or hardly) contributing any feedback comments in the chapters.  If you want things to change, show your face a bit more and interact with the author.
  Just keep writing and have fun doing so.
• KitraneRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Ok so honestly this story is not as 'angsty' as some lead you to believe and the MC isn't personality swapping for no reason. He has his past experience causing him to change personality to suit his needs and get what he wants and the stuff forced on him by some higher beings and fate only end up multiplying the effect. The MC does know what he is doing and the angst is a combo of involuntary reaction combined with past trauma and conflicting emotions about what and who he wants, so it doesn't really feel like we get slapped in the face with a MC whole change.
  So bottom line this is worth reading more than some would lead you to believe. Plus it is still a better love story than Twilight.
• FalsicRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  As of Chapter 16
  At first I really liked the story, however, you drove it into the ground for me when you started to bring these over the top reactions and unnecessary drama. I'm not going t spoil the story, but after chapter 10 you have Gwyn do some really impulsive and unrealistic actions when you take into account his backstory as a "reincarnated professional that worked for a shady organization". Generally, a certain level of composure and discipline is required for these characters to survive in thier profession and you went in the complete opposite direction turning Gwyn into a character similar to Anakin Skywalker from Revenge of the Sith. In short, this is just my opinion, but I believe you ruined the story by trying to make the plot more complicated than it has to be and in the process, ruined Gwyns character. Though I will also point out that there maybe people who enjoy this sort of melodramatic story. Give it a try, it's not bad. It's just not my style.
• RotaRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  originally rated as a 4* but have now lowered to just 2.5* overall.
  mostly because of the awkward progression on top of awkward grammar. Don't try to increase the world count if you can do something simply, just to make the story feel bigger. you have misuses of words that interrupt the immersion such as in chapter16 when you use "scent" in the middle of a sentence where you clearly meant "smell", you don't replace words to make it sound better/more professional, you use the appropriate words for both the sentence structure and the meaning you are trying to get across.
  I must also agree with Falsic about the drama. You go a lot in one direction, then slap us in the face with a completely new direction, and this occurs repeatedly. you ask us at the end of chapters to speculate... what are we supposed to speculate on? the MC clearly gives zero fucks about everything and anything, while pretending they do and any logical progression is lost because of frequent abrupt changes.
  How well do YOU even know your character? because I don't think that the readers, who know very little, are that far behind you on that front.
  where is the story even going? you have a god killer surrounded and bonded to 3 gods, supposedly romancing and getting attached only to then display complete and utter apathy.
  If all else must be ignored, one of the basic rules of writing a story "include only what is absolutely necessary and nothing more". do you know what is absolutely necessary for our story? so far I get the feeling most of the content can be removed or simplified and the potential goal would likely not be influenced, assuming you have a goal for the story.
  people like closure, even world spanning epics reach a conclusion. don't write assuming the end will never come. It is because 1 end comes, that a new story can begin on its heels. look at popular bestsellers like harry potter, every book is its own enclosed story arc of the bigger story that it makes as a whole. Write with the inten