Lord of the Star Sea

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Before the age of 18, D-class civilization boy Alexander William had been living an ordinary life in the Special Administrative Region of the Earth, until one day he inherited the rich "legacy" of his great-grandfather in another star field - a glorious noble title and planet-based With his huge territory and wonderful destiny, he became the true leader of tens of billions of humans overnight.

The gift from the mysterious old man "Papa Asa" from the ancient mythical civilization gave him another completely different "possibility" in his already glorious and glorious life. With the universe as a chessboard, powerful god-level individuals as chess players, and countless civilized races as chess pieces, what a magnificent path the young man will take...

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Sule Nadeane

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 16
Views: 4,573

Chapters(16 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Jonathan BRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
-I like your story, but your choice of narration makes if feel sterile. Your use of an omniscient narrator makes feels like I'm listening to a narrator from a movie, and all of the interesting stuff is being frontloaded via exposition instead of being naturally introduced and
gradually doled out in the story. Don't just start the story by saying,
"this is a popular game, everyone loves it," show it to us first, and then
give more exposition about the games rules and it's general impact on the
culture.
-I'd also make sure you nail down whether your story is being told in past
or present tense, there are a few examples of both in your story.
-It just feels like everything is being explained in such an uninteresting way,
I'm not saying your story is boring, far from it, I think the concept is cool,
but I'd seriously consider telling the story from Alexander's perspective as
he is going through such an interesting journey and we can see the world you've
created more intimately through his eyes.
Right now the narrator is telling us that Alexander is an ordinary dude and that he is happy or upset by a given situation, show it to us, don't just tell us. Tell the story in a way that the reader can naturally form that conclusion themselves.
I'll happily answer any clarifying questions if you have any best of luck with your story!