Legend of Lunos [Dropped]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

The Lunos clan was once the reigning clan of the Demons but because the younger generation's weakness to light was growing stronger for each generation, their power waned as the once proud Vampires were forced to disappear from the world. Regarded as demonic fodder, the Lunos clan became nomads who wander the world seeking refuge. But the land of the demons is large and many dangers lurk within the shadows.-------------This is a reincarnation story. The prologue is to let everyone know that I will be writing this story as well as to expect the next chapters.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2015
Author: Seraphiim

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.8/ 5.0
Followers: 59
Views: 28,080

Chapters(17 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

ChappyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
As always my reviews are VERY personal, meaning everything here is my personal thought and I by no means take a neutral view on things. Also I write somewhat towards the author rather than the reader.
Overall
From the little amount of chapters currently out (4) I can tell this is interesting. MC has A LOT of potential and still some problems to take care of from the looks of things. Reading last chapter ‘Chapter 3’ I do think this most likely needs a ‘Tragedy’ tag though. Either way story so far has some good progress and shows that MC has a lot of growth potential through the story.
Style
Perfect…. I usually loath wall of text with hardly any ‘conversation’ text, though this style some how managed to keep me interested and absorbed in the story.
This might have something to do with chapter length as well.. I’m not very good at analyzing this kinda stuff so I can’t say for sure, all I can say is wao.. I wasn’t bored at any point.
Story
Seems a be a little forced here at the start.. I gonna give ya the benefit of fact that it’s potentially still the “prologue” phase where the plot gets going and you’ve probably tried to push for it to get started before anyone gets bored of nothing happening. Except for that really good, I like how it doesn’t take 10 chapters before the slaughter house gets going.
Grammar
Wat? too absorbed to even notice any mistakes, and I don’t remember mentally changing anything.
Character
As I mentioned in the overall part, MC got loads of potential with his ability, I'll give you a 5/5 because his personality isn’t half bad either. Only problem I can foresee is that due to his specific power (trying not to spoil anything) I’ve read several stories with this kinda power and they tend to start getting slightly boorish as the plot goes on.. since it just ends up being more of the same. I like your style though and because of that I’m gonna expect that it doesn’t end up the same.
Keep on going, really good so far, hope you get some more readers!
Exc
dositheeRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
In my personal opinion, not to be taken seriously beyond a call for improvment:
This story lacks substance.   Dialogue sparse and undeveloped... Action scenes, particularly in ch. 3, lack detail (ch. three needs a lot more detail as it makes no sense..... Just waving his arms around and jumping on people....). No characters have had any substance yet and we know little of what mc is feeling...
The whole thing feels awkward.    Almost like the author knows what he wants to say, but hasn't been able to find his voice yet.
Good luck!   Just keep on developing your writing. Look at things you have liked and try to imitate or incorporate their style.
To readers: Check out the first chapter and see if it is your thing. The next four are of similar style and depth-ish....