Legend of Aerolite

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A war without end has grasped two rival nations who bleed without making progress. Two souls clash on the battlfield: a dragon rider, and a lowly officer straight out of the academy. This legend spans the journey of two lost souls marred by strife, war and love. An adventure into the great beyond, where the final key lies to ending this blood-feud. The price of any progress remains high...

What kind of future will our heroes invoke? What will the price be? And how can they finally find peace.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2018
Author: Estraza Arkonev

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.5/ 5.0
Followers: 5
Views: 7,713

Chapters(13 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(1)

InoraiRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Happened across this in the update queue! As the first review, I'll try and give some of my thoughts here :) Take as you will!
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Style:
It's difficult to really gauge style, as it can be intensely personal, but, I would say that the style shown here tends to get in the way of itself a great deal.
One of the sayings that has been passed around my group of writing friends is "never use the word emolument if you mean 'tip'." I think that's how this story makes me feel at times, particularly in the first chapter or two. At times, the text seems so wrapped up in making everything pretty and flowery, that the actual meaning has been lost.
Just to look at the very first line -
>The tent swayed, oscillating to the whims of a nimble wind; rhythmically, its fabric calmy rose and fell, beholden to the spring breeze, not unlike the alien, long forgotten tides.
This is just saying that the tent was fluttering in the breeze - but it went on for so long that I actually forgot what was happening and had to go back and reread it. Frankly, I still have no idea what the second half of the paragraph is trying to say. The first chapter is full of that, but at a glance, I can see that the author has brought it under a great deal of control as they went on. Which is good!
I would advise to keep adjectives and adverbs under control, and be careful not to let a sentence run on too long with pure description rather than events! In the end, while flowery descriptions are good, I think they can contrast unpleasantly with the gritty nature of the story, and when they're taken overboard, it can get in the way of the reader's enjoyment. Legibility and clarity are king!
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Story:
I really don't have a lot to comment on in regards to the story! The events themselves were straightforward, which is a good thing, and it followed a logical progression. My comments here would go back to style, in that the excessively flowery prose made it very difficult to follow at times.
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Grammar:
The