Kobold of the Shovel

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Red is a kobold with an unnatural obsession with shovels. Tossed away at birth he was adopted by the ogre Zog. Together they journeyed as mercenaries until a mysterious patron offered them a job. Now they are tasked with protecting a treasure trove inside the kobold settlement of Sein. Together they will gather allies, kill their enemies, and rise to power within the settlement.

Chapters are released every Sunday

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Narwal444

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 7
Views: 2,989

Chapters(8 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Jonathan BRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Really enjoying the story so far, I have a few small notes and compliments.
In the first paragraph you've highlighted Red's funny
personality. I like how a small little kobold is so
self-important.
Personally I'm really into D&D and all the fantasy trappings,
but you may want to give a brief description of a kobold for
all the people who might not be aware.
I'd suggest breaking up your paragraphs, every paragraph just
looks like a wall of text, and it would really help your
story to flow better and look less intimidating to read.
You set up the character's desire by the second paragraph,
he's hungry and needs a job so he can eat. Efficient writing.
A couple of small typos in the script, if you read the story
aloud or with a friend it should be an easy fix.
The introductory scene with Mr. Thompson felt a bit short,
maybe spend some more time with the character, highlight how
experienced Red is dealing with the type of clientele and maybe
show some more character back and forth between Red and Zog.
I like how Red is riding on top of Zog, reminds me of the book,
freak the mighty.
I love how zog was chewing on the dead human after the fight,
I really enjoy the dynamic between him and red.
You mention that Red is furious at hearing his old master's
name, I'm interested to hear why that is.
I like how Red is being given a troop of soldiers to command,
but why is he qualified to do this and why is he being paid
so much? I feel like red as a character is streetsmart enough
to realize this deal seems to good to be true without some
proper justification.
I like you story, but feel like it might be going too fast,
we spend one chapter learning about Red and Zog working as
mercenaries on the street, and just one chapter later they're
suddenly commanding part of an army and could potentially be
rewarded with riches beyond their wildest dreams. There's
nothing wrong with this, in fact I quite like it, but I would
take more time to establish Red in this lower state before you
move