Is There a Potion to Change Fate?
Community Rating
Description
Twel was an alchemist who brewed and sold her potions in the sprawling capital of Yandria. During the Solstice Fair, a severe world-ending calamity shattered Twel's risk-free potion-brewing dreams. A mysterious sapphire necklace she had discovered barely saved her life at that moment. Now, in the past, she had the opportunity tochange fate itself.Twel and Aria are unwillingly thrust into the vast and unfamiliar expanses of their new life in Jiras. They must band together and combine their unique strengths if they want to survive. The world will prepare for its single greatest moment. Twel decides she willfight back.
Current Schedule:Every 24-48 hours a chapter will be released.Note:Hi! If you've come from the ad campaign and find this novel interesting, please give it an honest shot. This is just a story I genuinely want to share.
Author Notes*** I like character-centric fantasy, especially slower-burning stories that have darker themes and a good sense of mystery behind them. This is listed as progression due to the slow but steady progression the cast will experience. I have some unique ideas for this novel I want to explore. If you're looking for that, you will hopefully enjoy this story with Twel and Aria.
** Feedback, comments, reviews, and conversation are always welcome. If it's on your mind, say it.
* I wish to clean up the presentation a little in the future, so expect improvement edits on art, formatting, etc. The story is written in past-tense first-person perspective, so of course, the storytelling is biased by Twel's point of view.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2023
- Author
- TwoMillionSheep
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.8/ 5.0
- Followers
- 20
- Views
- 3,652
Chapters(8 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(2)
- G.H KentRoyal Road★★★★★ 4.5This story kept a smile on my face all the way through, be it on nice little moments between the sisters and their banter, or at the short and yet simple to visualize descriptions.
Style: The descriptions used by the author are quick and easy, helping you visualize a very vivid world. The inner thoughts of the main character Twel add a lot to make the world feel large while also helping to set out rules with elegance. Her explanations were succinct, and I've never felt lost trying to guess what the plot is talking about, despite the number of alchemical ingredients, their types, and the magic system nomenclature being thrown left and right. The only thing I felt weird about was some specific dialogues being too long-winded or too expository when done out of the narrator's perspective, but overall, they were far apart enough to not be a bother.
Story: One of the best aspects! It starts with a slow chapter, but as soon as it gets going, it keeps on going! There is a good balance of mysteries being introduced and character interactions to keep the plot going and the reader engaged. All in all, it kept me curious through the current chapter I'm at.
Grammar: I'm terrible at reviewing this since English is my second language and some mistakes can be unnoticeable by me. All in all, the few I've seen were done due to wrong tenses, but it seems that the author has been correcting it with the suggestion provided by the readers when they happen.
Character Score: At the moment, the cast is pretty much composed of Twel and her sister, whose interactions are the heart and soul of the plot. Twel in particular is an outstanding character and it is delightful to see her responses to the things happening around her, or using her strengths regarding alchemy to be used in interesting ways. Unfortunately, there was very little presence of any other character, but for the few moments they were present, I felt they were characterized well enough for the function they play at that specifi - VioletMoonRoyal Road★★★★★ 4.5First of all, I want to note that the author explicitly mentioned they initially wrote this in present tense, so I think that many of the errors I noticed in grammar/style were holdovers from making that change. Many of the issues I noticed purely had to do with the style and flow, rather than ideas or character being built.
Style: I dinged this one a bit, because as stated above, there is a variety of tenses being used. It's apparent the story was initially written in present tense, as there are a number of verb-tense disagreements that at times, detracted from fluidity overall. However, I think that one the tenses are figured out, all of the other prices are nicely there. The other thing I noticed is that the author is at times far more verbose than necessary. It's not bad, per se, but I think a few edits to 'trim the fat' as they say, would be helpful. Here's an example I noticed right away, but there are numerous others that could be easily simplified for fluidity.
He adjusted his large rune-carved blade that was slung across his slide. The runes across the sword were glowing a dark purple against the dim metal sheen of his armor.
This could easily be consolidated into
The man's rune carved-blade cast an eerie purple glow against his armor's dim metal sheen.
All of that being said, the author still does an excellent job of providing vivid and easy to conceptualize descriptions of the world around the MC.
Grammar: 4.5/5. The only thing that jumped out to me were a few sentences not capitalized. Here's an example.
The thoughts in my head swirled, occupying me. "I want you to stay here, Twel, go inside the store, and don't move unless you have no choice." my sister began to climb across the rubble in front of us between loud shakes and booms.
Not a big deal, but noticeable at times.
Story: Easy 5/5. This was my favorite part. I found the story to flow naturally, and in general, I like the idea of alchemy having more far-reaching effects. I thought the pacing was ni