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Maaku Yuujiin KurosubiiRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Your poem has a dark and tragic tone, as it depicts a scene of death, regret, and despair. You use imagery and metaphors to convey the emotions of the speaker, such as “the room in my head, whet empty”, “a ghost above my body”, and “sacrifice to the devil or to the god”.
Your poem has some grammatical and spelling errors that could be corrected to improve the clarity and readability of your poem. For example, you could change “whet” to “went”, “let” to “led”, and “due” to “do”. You could also use capital letters at the beginning of each line or sentence to follow the convention of poetry writing.
Your poem has a mysterious and ambiguous ending, as it leaves the reader wondering what happened to the speaker and why they felt love and compassion for someone who caused them pain. You could either explain more about the situation and the relationship between the speaker and the other person or leave it open-ended to invite the reader’s imagination and interpretation.