Inner Light

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

My life is rudely interrupted by something called the system rearing its ugly head and turning my world upside down. Or at least into a game like scenario. Did my brother's dog try to kill me immediately? Yes it did. Did I gain a unique class for being the first to kill in this zone? That's what the system is telling me. When I step out my door does everything out there want to kill me too? That seems to be the case. Am I royally screwed over? ... I'll let you know.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2018
Author
loomeceus

Tags

LITRPGACTIONFANTASYADVENTUREMALE LEADGRIMDARKCONTEMPORARY

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.3/ 5.0
Followers
317
Views
100,040

Chapters(33 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

  • ShadowingRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Beautiful work, keeps me coming back , the development of our mc is amazing it's fresh, and realistic, it has a clear goal and isn't an op mc stumbling into sex and power , a real gem and a recommended read, only complaint is the amount of chapters, hoping this helps.
  • SilanganRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    An interesting LitRPG story bogged down by its start. Power through the first 10 chapters or so and youre golden.
  • Steve MossRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    This is an excellent LitRPG, dark and gritty.  The MC is not OP, is not the center of the universe, and is struggling to strive.
    There are a few spelling errors each chapter, but not enough to be distracting.  The grammar is generally good.
    The biggest complaint is the MC starts out as a wimp and, even after 2-3 weeks of brutal battles, still falls back on his flinch and cower instinct.  With as much fighting he's been doing he needs to step it up if he's going to survive.  When one goes fetal and gets stabbed, repeatedly, eventually the MC should learn that's not a viable survival tactic.
    This criticism should not over shadow the positives of the story.  This is one of the best LitRPGs I've read in a long time.  Highly recommended.
  • The novel novel readerRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Hecking good, pls don't give it up I like it a lot. Maybe you can go over the current chapters and make it more interesting for those that don't like grinding(weird). That the only thing I can think of.
  • WamzoRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    A very good story. A few spelling and gramatical errors but nothing that detracts from the story.
    Very very intense. Once you start reading you cannot put it down. The writing is well writen and very engaging.
    So far there is only one thinking character but he is incredibly detailed. The depth of this one character is why the story has a score of 3 for it.
  • ScorpiioRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    really love the novel but there's this long ass useless monologues/explanations about like boring stuff but when it's not explanations times it's nice
    Ps what i mean if i was not clear it's the long as talks about this and that especially the family i understand a bit of it but like there's so much that out of 33 chapters maybe u could fill 10-15 chapters just with those D:
  • AvadoniaRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    It's good but a bit slow, feel like you describe way to much the useless thought of the MC or his story.
  • McQueenSerialFantasyRoyal Road
    ★★★ 3.0
    I've had the opportunity to read quite a few examples of the Gaming Adventure genre since coming to RRL, and I can say that Inner Light is a reasonable example of the breed. The hero begins the story deposited into an unfamiliar environment with few resources and little power; as time goes on he improves his means, acquires abilities, levels up, and learns about the world around him and the nature of its threats. Clearly the author knows how this format works and has a clear idea in his head of how to deliver on the genre's expectations.
    The world is dark, gritty, and deadly, and the main character finds himself scrambling for survival right from the off. It's a gripping start, and goes a long way toward roping the reader in. Further, the main character appears to possess a detailed backstory that contributes to his world view and the way he approaches the challenges he faces. All of these things are good.
    The presentation needs work. The story lacks focus. The scenes progress in an orderly manner that feels logically consistent, but the scenes themselves are broken up, wandering from action, to internal reflection, to backstory, to fourth-wall breaks, and back again, driven by a seeming need to explain what's going on. The author needs to slow down and show the elements of the story, illustrating what's happening instead of simply putting the information on the page. A measured pace will allow more room to let the story develop in the mind of the reader. The imagery and the emotional depth will fill in, and all the other parts of the narrative: the characters, the setting, and the story, will be stronger as a result.
    It's a good start, and it's got a long way to go, but when it's polished and finished it's going to be a fantastic story.
  • HumanprototypeRoyal Road
    ★★★ 3.0
    This story is interesting but the writing style is so verbose and meandering that reading it is usually closer to frustrating than enjoyable. The random irrelevant backstory tangents told through inner monologue are particularly jarring and out-of-place.
  • The ValeRoyal Road
    ★★ 2.0
    Spends too much time on random tangents which serves to slow down the story progression noticeably.
    Tries very hard to be a deconstruction of the genre, but most of the time feels like reading chores. There's a lot of words on the page but you can skim a great deal and not really lose out on anything. Most of what we see is concerning the character's backstory - family, relatives, past relationships, medical conditions of family members - lots of anecdotes that are essentially irrelevant to the current point, a lot of mundane rambling, and a lot of retreading old information repeatedly. This makes for very boring reading. There is improvement around chapter 13 and beyond, but the earlier chapters suffer heavily - I was more than ready to simply walk away before reaching that point. I only continued to the end (chapter 18 at this point) for the sake of this review.
    To the writer I say - What is the story you are trying to tell? How are you moving the plot towards reaching that point with each chapter? What necessary information are you imparting to the reader? What unnecessary information should be trimmed out? What should be mentioned later when it is more directly relevant?
    These are questions you should ask yourself as you go over a chapter that may help some of the issues I have seen, particularly if editing the earlier chapters.