Inhuman Instinct

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

After creatures only known from legends proliferated and evolved, humanity trained soldiers to save the earth and fend against these creatures. Aliyah Walker, known as one of the youngest Enforcers, finds herself in the midst of chaos after she met Aizel Aryster. The young man not only looked different but his identity also remained as a mystery. After a near death experience, Aliyah finally renewed her bond with Aizel that will be tested as they face the secrets and conspiracy behind Aizel’s past.

As they uncover the truth, will Aliyah choose Aizel over everything or will she abandon their bond and save the world?

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2023
Author
bluerabyss

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYSUPERNATURALSTRONG LEADURBAN FANTASYCONTEMPORARY

Royal Road Stats

Rating
2.5/ 5.0
Followers
1
Views
1,927

Chapters(12 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

  • CobaltWolfRoyal Road
    ★★★ 2.5
    Because this is the author’s first work, I want to be careful with this review. Constructive criticism is important after all and I think this author could use it. To say this definitely feels like the author’s first work would be apt, because it is in need of a lot of edits to get to the core I think I can see there.
    This is intended to be a bit of a dark story following a grizzled cop forced to act as a bodyguard to the General’s son. The story has some monsters, and the main character is intended to have a few screws loose. Simple plot, with some nice nuggets of world building sprinkled throughout about both our protag and the world. The problem is how the story is delivered, because this is not well written. If I had to put it into a singular word, I would say stilted. The grammar is very messy and broken, with a lot of awkward wordage and sentence structure. Sometimes it will repeat points and there are multiple times where it feels like you could cut away half of the sentences for their redundancy. The dialogue is probably the least enjoyable part, as it feels extremely clunky and unnatural. The author likes to use a lot of commas when he really should be breaking up his sentences. The characters talk almost robotically, with no functional emotion or easy way to differentiate them without the dialogue tags. Everyone sounds the same, which isn’t fun. I’ve always tried the simple test of reading character dialogue aloud to see if it sounds natural, and this doesn’t pass the test. The style is nonexistent and the pacing is all over the place. There’s something so clearly there for the author, and I can imagine the story sounds amazing in their head or their lore document, but it’s just not coming across in the actual novel. If the author is ESL, that would explain some of the things listed above (although I wouldn't say it excuses them). If the author is not ESL, I have probably just insulted them really badly and I apologize.
    The story is only starting, which is