Immortal's Screenplay
Community Rating
Description
It turns out Immortals get bored in the midst of their trillion-year lifespans. Really bored. Once you've seen, done and felt everything, life tends to get a little stale. To stave off the endless boredom, a group of Immortals have taken to creating whole worlds with different interesting scenarios.
One of those worlds is Earth, and due to a particular twist of fate, one child is born with a dormant sentient System.
Twenty years later, Earth's Heavenly Boundary breaks due to the accumulated Qi, marking its entrance into the greater cosmos above, full of cultivation, excitement and adventure. The child, now named Nick, has grown up just in time to enter the universe of cultivation with humanity.
Garzhog, the Lord of Dwarves is grabbing popcorn. Takcho, the Immortal Swordsman is driving to Blockbuster. Halat, the Emperor Divine is arranging the chairs.
Even the Immortals and Gods are sitting to watch. Won't you come and join them? All you need to do is click the page.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Author
- SushiBoi497
Tags
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.4/ 5.0
- Followers
- 7
Chapters(0 total)
No chapters available yet.
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(5)
- Daniel J HullRoyal Road★★★★★ 4.5The author does a great job on the dismal beginning. They really capture the protagonst's hopelessness. The pacing is good and the sentence structure is sound with a natural flow. It was easy to read. Spelling and grammar are well edited. The only thing that bugged me a bit was the sheer amount of interface dialog, but that's probably just an artifact of it being introduced. I imagine that we won't see as much of it as the story progresses. Overall, it's an interesting story and will be fun to watch how the protagonist handles the world he has found himself within. I'm also curious about the other 599 interesting individuals. This is shaping up to be a fun and humerous read.
- HomuroRoyal Road★★★★★ 4.5I enjoyed the read and the author a has an original take on a second life. The grammar was solid and the style was also enjoyable. I look forward to the coming chapters and seeing how the story progresses. There are only two chapters available and I will update my review as more of the story is released. I would recommend to other readers any day. Cheers.
- nerdy_asian27Royal Road★★★★★ 4.5There's not much to say at the moment as there are only two chapters available. Personally, I enjoyed the read. It flowed very well and the grammar was pretty solid. Story seems fair as well. Well, that's all for now, but I'll be sure to give an updated review as the story progresses.
- Cynical StrangerRoyal Road★★★★ 4.0The prologue was well written until the end. The ending part of it did not make sense and turned the mood from depression to silly. The way you describe things is solid for the most part and paints a clear picture in the reader's mind.
While I'm not a big fan of using a game-like system in a setting taking place in reality, I did like the reaction of the MC to his new predicament. It actually made me laugh out loud, and this time it was at a part that was intended to be funny.
Overall it is not a bad start. - KaithRoyal Road★★★ 3.0I will preface this review by stating that this story is not for me, and I likely won't follow it.
The plot is fully outlined in its synopsis, and the first chapter expounds from there, introducing us to Nick, a young adult who was rescued from his attempted suicide by the powers-that-be out of curiosity, and partnered with a sentient System that is introducing him to his new life as a Wuxia protagonist.
The System's personality is quirky, but helpful, and promises its assistance in giving Nick an interesting future.
Style
The story from the viewpoint of Nick is isn't endearing. The prologue hammers home through exposition his many failures in his twenty years of life, and how he was basically unloved by his adoptive family. While it should be rather depressing, the telling as opposed to showing makes it almost feel comical; while people do live in such awful states and gain deep, suicidal depression over it, the overall presentation is forced and eye-rolling.
His communications with the System, however, are a highlight and instantly identifiable, and said System coomunicates as you might expect a sentient AI might: calculations, downloads, and access denieds between bouts of exposition.
Story
The synopsis promises immortality-immorality that will cause an Earthwide shake-up of the status-quo, the prologue introduces us to the sad life of our protagonist, and the first chapter introduces the reader to the expected shake-up.
As expounded under Style, however, it's a lot of exposition in these three segments with only a handful of showings. We're told about Nick's life, not shown it; we're told the world is changing, but the only hint of that is a very brief segment with a mutated boar that isn't given the description or impact it needs to really land.
Grammar Score
Technically flawless.
Character Score
I will say flat-out, I do not like Nick with what we're given. I don't know what he looks like, I am given stage-directions as to why he wants to commit suicide, and w